I am preparing to start a new life. It may be temporary, it may be well-extended, but regardless of the long term effects, things are changing quickly in the here and now. I won't be sleeping in the same bed anymore. I won't be living under the roof of a house that has sheltered me for at least 10 years of my life. I'm leaving behind my friends, family, and country, bracing myself for a trip that seems more unpredictable than anything else I've tried to prepare for in my entire life.
Words like adventure, culture, isolation, shock and party come to my mind when I try to imagine it. My father said to me today: "don't be surprised if Japan isn't everything you imagined it to be. You've been building up your expectations and working on a goal for a long time, so it's easy to be disappointed." I have always believed in applying Murphy's Law - "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" - to best counter disillusionment and disappointment. In other words, I have tried to keep my hopes and dreams from shooting wildly out of control. This perspective is more beneficial than it may sound on the surface, as it brings about all sorts of fun bonuses, not the least of which is when you are pleasantly surprised when a lot of things go your way, or even exceed your greater expectations. I have confidence in myself to do the best I can do through even the worst of times, and as trite and cliché as that may seem, I think the real key to this game is 90% mental. If I am able to bring a suitable level of cool-headedness, reservation, patience and respect into my demeanor, I believe I can thrive regardless of my surroundings.
Change isn't easy. Change is, however, exciting. Change isn't always desirable, but without it our lives seem stagnant and dull. Much like the technology we rely on, we seek quicker refresh speeds and newer, faster addictions to consume and subsequently quit. Change can seem especially imperative to the post generation-X, light emission addicts of the 00's. We are a new generation of adults, who watch shows like The Office not just for their wit and humor, but also for the acerbic and succinct way that parody and satire reflect real world problems of crushing technological oppression within the human domain, of devastating views of repressed expression through the paradox of political correctness, and an overall lack of the ability to communicate with one another, and what dire consequences this inability can lead up to. I'm not saying technology is the devil, but it's emblematic of our seeming desire to put proxy after proxy between ourselves and everything else, perhaps for protection or safety, or perhaps just to make ourselves more ambiguous and numb to the world around us.
There is a point to all this: I have always been one for speaking my mind completely, barring necessary discretion. I believe in telling it like it is, speaking first then thinking later, unless the person on the receiving end seems like they will be unable to handle "the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Sometimes I get this vibe from my audience and unload anyway, knowing full well that directness will only repel said person from me. Sometimes, to be characteristically frank, this is preferable. Most of the time however, I like to be as civil as possible, and in recent years have worked on my mannerisms to try and curb this habit without compromising my own individuality. Translation: I can act this way around friends, and in very casual settings, but not the rest of the time. Unfortunately, in Japan I know most of the my life will take place in the latter, not the former. So, I will have to be on my guard and tone myself down, making every effort to stay my personality and be a little more accessible. Most of all, I'll try not to step on any toes, rub anyone the wrong way, or burn any bridges. Wishful thinking? We'll see.
To put this aspect of my personality into the bigger picture, here's some information you may or may not know: The Japanese are a people of subtlety, ambiguity and mutability. Their very language is rife with implication and indirectness, and as a result of this and many other unnameable cultural forces, the Japanese have a really roundabout way of speaking. Directly saying "no" to something is almost always extremely rude (as I know from my two years of schooling in Japanese during college), and something more along the lines of "umm, well...", "not quite...", "that's a little..." etc. are all in active, popular practice. What does this say about the culture? More relavent still, what does this say about how I, a bumbling foot-in-mouth tangential New Yorker will do in trying to exist within this cultural framework? What inevitable slip-ups, mis-communications and accidental acts of impoliteness await me? How much do I have to keep my guard up, and can I ever possibly explain through the exercise of teaching to even one student how to properly express themselves in field so volatile and kinetic as the English language? Tune in next week to find out. Literally.
My impression of Japanese culture, regardless of the college I attended and the commendable professors who taught it to me, is nonetheless built on second-hand information. I must go forth to form my own opinions, and find my way in this new world. My bags are semi-packed, my laptop full of quality films like "Airplane," "Shaun of the Dead" and "The Host," and my spirit ready and willing.
A new epoch of Belcher awaits me. My parents have been so supportive of me in this decision that it's incredible, and I'd like to take a moment to thank them here. Without those two, this would be a heck of a lot harder, if not impossible. I'm getting ready to say goodbye to home, but I've been quite high strung as of late. I honestly feel like I won't be able to relax until I'm on a plane, somewhere over the Atlantic, en route to an archipelago that I expect to rejuvinate my life. A place where I can reinvent myself. Or maybe, just maybe, perhaps, possibly, I can still just be me, and I will make some new friends who can accept me that way.
End Prologue.
Countdown to Departure: 52 hours.
Thinking back to when you were a lost and lonely kid, a look back at the tragic and the damage that it did. Still waiting for the day it all just goes away. That's who you are, don't hide the scar. Now you know the reason why you feel so full of hate, throw a stone I'm sure you'll hit someone who can relate, and now you know the reason for the way you are, but you're still wanting to believe that you can cover up the scar..." - h20
. . . . . PLEASE BEAR WITH US WHILE WE ATTEMPT TO ISOLATE THE ROOT OF THIS PROBLEM.
Countdown to D-day: 3 days.
"What a beautiful face, I have found in this place, That is circling all round the sun. And when we meet on a cloud I'll be laughing out loud, I'll be laughing with everyone I see, Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all." - Neutral Milk Hotel
So, I am a liar. But instead of any well-constructed post about the numerous things going on in the last week, I'm just going to talk about today, really quick. I had a 4 1/2 hour tattoo session, and it hurt like hell. Almost ever color made blood permeate through the ink, which looked kind of cool, but didn't feel nice, even thought I took it "like a man." I'm stoked on how it came out, but bummed we had to cut the session short. It's 95% complete but we decided to finish up on Sunday, since I had to get back to Albany in time for last minute band practice with our new, and now 3rd drummer in 8 months, making him the 4th new member.
Throb throb goes the skin.
Tattoos are definitely addicting though. It's a pain you pay for, which is pretty wild if you think about it. Like torture with an hourly rate, only you want it done because it looks cool. And really, what is the point of getting your skin drawn on if it doesn't look good? I guess I really am a superficial consumer whore like the rest! Blast!
At Tuesday's practice (See? I lied again) this burnout dude came in with the debt collector for the practice space, which was all well and good, except that he tripped over my box fan. This fan is at least 10 years old, but the motor is so simple you'd think it would never break.
It broke.
I now have the pleasure of listening to my fan cough and stutter every few minutes. It's like an old man fan, man.
will most likely see very little posting. I will be consistently busy up until my departure, so for right now the blog is going to be a little slow. Check out some of my friends linked on the right, or wait it out. I'll definitely drop a little something before I take my flight, as it will be the end of the "prologue."
Normally, I do not use portable electronics while in moving vehicles. I get motion sick, always have and most likely always will. Nevertheless my new macbook, perhaps due to sheer awesome-itude, seems to overcome this fault of mine. Better, faster, stronger. Maybe it's just the bigger screen.
Oh, and if anyone wants to use that word, awesome-itude, please paypal me $5 in advance. ktnx.
As I write these words, I am on the road to Brookline, MA to finish the Damnation Alley EP up with Mike Scoville. The last few days have been wild and crazy, kids, and here is a fragmented recount for ya'll:
Thursday.
Thursday was a great day. Just the fact that I knew I'd be getting tattooed for the first time in, well, it must be at least 3 years kept me consistently elated. I was smiling all day. I arrived at Needlewurks up in Saratoga early to avoid the nasty rush hour traffic, and proceeded to stuff my face at the nearest Chinese buffet. Little known fact: There are Chinese buffets with Mexicans who work in the kitchens, I have seen it myself! Shocking.
Here is where things got ridiculous. Last week at practice (held at Needlewurks after hours) I had noticed a drawing, framed and colored nicely, of what was known simply as "Wolfopuss," a wolf/octopus, with antlers. I really loved the demented, cartoony style of it, and to make a long story short, when I suggested getting this picture done by the original artist, Humplik, not only was he excited about it but he insisted we had to start "today" if I was leaving in under 3 weeks. So, low and behold, no classy Paradise Lost quotes on my arm that day, just a ridiculous piece on my upper left thigh! Sorry to make you all wait, but I refuse to post pics until it's colored in.
The tattoo hurt like a bitch and took about two hours. I am also kind of a wuss about pain, and I find no shame in admitting that, because we're all relatively soft these days, what with the lack of hunting and tribal activities and all. I talked to Humplik about anything and everything to take my mind off of it, but all in all it really wasn't that bad and I am ready for more!
"More tattoos, more tattoos, let's go get some more tattoos!!!" - No Reedeming Social Value
I returned home roughly midnight-ish, and didn't get to bed till around 3 due to feverishly packing and triple-checking all the necessary paperwork for my visit to the Japanese consulate. Oh, did I forget to mention the trip to New York City?
Friday.
Got up at 8:45am, rushed my ass off to make the 11:33am train, got there at 11:22, ran in despite my tattoo being a tad raw, forgot the number of my parking spot so I ran back out to get it, came back, paid, went down stairs, windmilled, spinkicked and made my way into the train with about 2 minutes to spare. Always a great relief, catching that poughkeepsie train (or Po-town as I affectionately like to call it). I drove there - about half way to the city - because roundtrip tickets are only $26, which is a steal compared to $80 from Albany to the city, so it ends up costing me around $70-$75 to go to the city and back, total. None too shabby.
Upon my arrival at famous and historical Grand Central Station, I began by walking the wrong direction for about 2 blocks, before I realized my error. I made a 180 toward the consulate, roughly a 4 block walk from the station. Security was very tight for obvious reasons, and to skip all the boring details I was informed that if I wanted to get mailed my visa, I need only walk to the post office and buy an express envelope with $16.50 postage! Compared to another trip during a hecticly busy week it was quite an appealing offer. So, after showing up at the incredibly large post office, talking to some woman whose son was soon graduating from the school I just did, SUNY Albany, etc. etc.. I made my way back towards the building on park and 48th. The sun was shining, and I thought to myself as I walked through the faceless crowd, this is preparation for what I'll be living in. The purely urbane lifestyle. I listen to Kataklysm and the Killers, smile, and walk purposefully back toward the consulate, through the hustle and around the bustle.
Upon my first arrival the consulate was nearly empty. This time however, it's packed. NHK (Japan's CNN) is playing on the T.V., and I hear parents scolding their children in Japanese to "put down the magazine, seriously, we're leaving. Now!" I smile a few feet wide, thinking all the while: boy oh boy will they be surprised when they find out this 外人 gaijin (foreigner) can understand their language. My place in line is 8 behind the current guy being waited on, so I try to get into Choke by Chuck Palchawnauck, which isn't hard because he writes some very prolific and happily disturbing, destructive work. I'm into it, here's a taste:
"Then she turns on the television, some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems." - Chuck Palahniuk, Choke.
I keep glancing furtively at the clock, but eventually stop as it is the other queue moving up, and mine seems to be stuck in slow motion. Lost in the land of clever rhetoric, I completely ignore the number-calling for roughly 30 seconds, and number gets skipped. I proceed to move across the room quite annoyed, sit impatiently and stare unfurtively at the Australian guy taking far too long to straighten out his paperwork, while J-babies cry and newscasters talk about crazy 60+ year old mountain climbers in Japanese.
2 hours later, I'm sitting on a sparsely grass-laden patch of dirt in equally famous and historical Union Square Park. The plan is to wait here for Naomi, who lives in the Bronx and goes to a fancy expensive Graduate School to get some documentation which says she is a writer. My problem with this? She's already a writer, duh! Why do we really need Graduate School?!?!111
Lying amidst people who must not see much more foliage or "nature" than this on a regular basis, I soaked up some sun, played some Final Fantasy 4 on my DS, read some more Choke, and actually felt inspired to do some writing! (If you're interested, please check out my writer's cafe account for semi-frequently updated short prose and poetry). I felt bewildered by some overheard remarks of extreme apathy and insensitivity though. Case in point: A valley girl, the kind with big bug-eyed white-rimmed sunglasses, mediumish brown hair (so she's not too traditional, but still feminine) and some presumably fashionable combination of a blue top and a yellow, the leader of the little brood of fast talkers and Sex and the City wannabes. All of this I can deal with, I've gotten used to it. What bothered me was that she, the queen bee, was laughing about her incredibly naïve friend who gave $20 to a homeless guy. Sure, that guy could have been a druggie, or an alcoholic, in which case it is rather ignorant on the part of said girl... but he could also have been an honest man who was just horribly down on his luck. I decided to keep my mouth shut, as I so often do to avoid unnecessary conflicts. If only I could speak my mind 100% of the time, and we could actually debate these kinds of things.
On that subject of bums and the homeless, I saw a man with a cardboard sign that said: "Why lie? I need beer." Honestly, I felt inspired by his honesty, and almost gave him a dollar.
Eventually the evening picked up and Naomi, who is always cute and funny without even trying, leads us on a rambling journey to some sketchy neighborhood in Brooklyn, with her carnivorously nomming earrings and a nice black dress, with striped stockings that were so akin to Lydia from Beetlejuice that I almost thought that a Sandworm might manifest itself through from the ground up and start tearing shit up.
For the first time in my life - and I guess this happens 2 or 3 times a week in Troy, I'm just sort of an indoor kid - I saw a hydrant blown, water gushing like a free car wash without the softball team to assist. We resisted this public bath since we both were not nearly drunk enough yet. It was however hot as hell when we arrived at the party, and it kind of looked like it too, in a strangely aesthetic and subtle way. Over the main doorway to the kitchen, 3 round clocks said 6:00 all in a row. There was a Last Supper picture with some custom clip art of new Disciples and some delicious cake (And who is to say they had no sweets in early A.D.?), art which portrayed a deformed Winnie the Pooh sitting victorious upon a pile of raw bones, chewing the flesh of his latest victim. That one even made me shudder, having been raised on the lovable honey-addict, who I am now convinced is emblematic of a pothead. Also, on eye-level with any dude pissing in the toilet was this ominous odometer:
I got more hammered than I would like to admit, and got along with these artsy types better than I had expected - although I did say some very vulgar things in Japanese to a girl I later found out was a former Japanese major. LOL.
Naomi and I. Yes, I strictly take very ridiculous pictures.
Saturday.
5 hours and a nasty headache later, me and Naomi awaken in "Vietnam," an independent country that exists in a constant state of guerilla warfare, with inhuman, unreal living conditions...within an apartment building in Brooklyn. We ate breakfest, and made our way to Grand Central (her home was in the same direction), and at the transfer stop where we parted ways we watched a very talented Asian man playing what I believe to be a Chinese instrument. It sat like a harpsichord but had a set up something like the inside of a piano, with wires that are vibrated with fork-like sticks. He played something like Beethoven's 5th, then proceeded to freestyle!
The real talent in New York doesn't get played on your top hit lists.
Here's nice shot of Grand Central Station, what a symbol of American freedom:
The trip home was, well, nothing in particular to write home about, so I won't. I was supposed to see a free play in Altamont, Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" which is a cross-dressing adventure of drunken debauchery, rampant malarkey and situational comedy. Sadly, it was taking place outdoors and the weather was very stormy. Curse you high culture-hating percipitation!!!
The night however was far from a bust, and after calling in to work (like I was going to work 5-8 after 4+ hours of travel and minimal sleep, seriously) I made plans to see the new Will Ferrell movie Step Brothers with some good friends. It can be summed up as a compilation of coarse, vulgar, laugh-out-loud humor, and I have to say I was actually pretty impressed! Possibly one of the most epic post-credits scenes every filmed, as well. Regardless of your taste in modern comedy, something much funnier happened even before the movie. I was in a hurry to get out and make it on time, which actually turned to be a needless worry since the showing at 9:20 was sold out anyway. Regardless, I arrived wearing this brand new spiffy shirt I had recently bought for my new job, a Ralph Lauren striped black and white dealy. I'm not usually one for fashionableness in the slightest, but I think it looks pretty swank. Anyway, to make a long story short, I sat down next to my friend Zach, and began eating a recently purchsed 1/2 lb. cheesy bean and rice Taco Bell burrito™, my only weakness. As I opened the packet of fire sauce, it squirts out with pressure equivalent to a busted fire hydrant, squirting down my shirt and on my pants as well. This earned me the nickname of "Burrito-on-Shirt" Ben a few days later. Hysterical!
After the movie, me and Gabe hung out, because we have done that for well over 7 years. We are brothers from unrelated mothers. Here is a video of Gabe's testimonial of my future, and how Japan will change my life:
(That's "brots" as in bratwurst, by the way)
And yes, that is Suffocation playing in the background. No video of Gabriel should go without brutal death metal, naturally. Now that I'm getting the hang of iMovie, I might start doing a few more video blog entries; Although no new technology can possibly replace the ubiquitous, tried and true practice of good old fashioned writing.
We proceeded to watch Lost in Translation which Gabe had never seen before. Having seen it before, I understood roughly 60-70% of the Japanese dialogue, and translated it for added movie pleasure. I think a year or 2 in Japan, and I'll be taking the JLPT! (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) A fun fact about the JLPT, passing it at the highest difficulty is rewarded with documentation which basically says you are bilingual.
Ah, some day.
Anyway, I am afraid that we have to close shop early tonight. Right now I am far from that Sunday car ride to Boston; I am currently sitting in my room in my underwear, thinking about how tired I am but how I can't fall asleep due to copious coffee consumption. Damn it.
Get stoked for a big band-related entry about mine and John's amazingly fun time recording with Mike Scoville, and all the insanity that has taken place over the last few days. DAMNATION ALLEY TAKING OOOOVEEEERRRRRR 2008 BOOYAH!
"This is the way of the modern world, everyone's lying for dollar bills... Everybody knows what's best for you" - Bad Religion
Here's to being a teacher for the rest of my life.
[me, before my job interview in April]
Countdown to D-Day: 13 Days!
"Momma's been cryin' cuz her baby's been dyin and lately, her life's going straight to hell, but I'm going straight today, make a change. I can't believe it, what you're doing, where I live" - Last Call
Lately, I've been wearing my Buffalo Bills hat almost all the time when I've been out doing things. I've called it my "lucky hat" on occasion, but those words seem to be ringing true now more than ever. It becomes an inadvertent conversational piece at bars, sparking conversations about sports fandom which I have never fully understood; Then again, a lot of people might find my passion for music or language equally hard to grasp. Regardless, I wear the hat for two reasons: I'm going bald and have been slacking on keeping my hair short, even though I was shaving it regularly for almost a year. Also, it's my brother's old hat, one of the surplus of Bills hats he owned, and may or may never have even worn when he was still alive. I'm really not sure. My brother and his death are a series of unfortunate circumstances, which I will elaborate on in another post, on another day....night....morning? What is 3am, really? What is it when you are up at this hour on a regular basis? What if you work night shifts, when you eat lunch at 2am and go to bet at 7am, is it really "good night" at all anymore?
But I digress. There may in fact be a third reason I wear my Bills hat proudly, but it is a culmination of the first two: It instills me with confidence. This is partially because the hair on the top of my head is jumping ship faster than a 3rd class immigrant on the Titanic, but also because I feel a sort of bond ethereal bond between the over-priced official sportsgear and my brother. Do I believe in the spirit, the soul, or the ability of treasured physical things to retain some essence or trace of the spirit? Metaphysics are another example of topics that are all too thick and absurd to fit into this entry. But what I can attest to is what I feel, and that is that wherever I go and whatever I do, I want to keep wearing my lucky hat, avidly support the losing side. After all, what is more appealing to the human spirit than an underdog?
when you can post from a rest stop, much like finding a parking spot in Boston at 4am without getting a ticket
"We're on a mission from God" - Blues Brothers.
But, the recording session went amazing, details TBA. 6 songs in under 20 hours is wild. And for those of you who've never had said experience, just think for every second of produced music you hear, most likely 100x that amount of time went into making it sound the way it does.
Hey everybody. Currently in Brookline, MA, working through technical difficulties at Damnation Alley EP recording session 2. Mike, John and Tyler are a riot, this is probably some of the most fun ever possible
"we need a pad, ain't talkin' maxi"
"aren't you glad you aren't paying for this?"
"G string is always the hardest to tie, you fellow guitarists know what I'm talkin' about"
"Condoms are for pussies!" "....well you're technically wrong there."
"Everything is here but me, it's like I'm Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense"
"Check 1 2! McGillicutty! Reh reh! Visa, Master, check! Want me to keep checkiiin?! THIS IS FOR ALL THE HULKIMANIACS!!!"
etcetcetcetc
Really big post coming soon, sorry to keep you waiting folks, I'm a busy man.
Wow, so first off I'm impressed with the number of hits I've been getting as of late - it's either the same people checking everyday or new viewers randomly finding their way here, or both, and in any case thanks for reading! It gives me a little more motivation to do this.
Secondly ,we are going to talk about my avid love of all things food-related: Eating, cooking (although I am still a n00b), tasting, hell I'd probably even screw a girl if she was covered in virtually any edible substance, that is how much I love food. I also come from a family of big eaters on both sides, so it's in the blood.
Today at work, I decided to try the stuffed hot peppers......more like stuffed death peppers! Three of 'em had my tear ducts running (which does NOT count as crying, by the way) and I just caved and tossed the other two. Still, I had to at least try.
This, my friends, is how you study Kanji (Japanese characters).
Sheer morsels of fire.
Part of the reason I am excited to go to Japan is the food. I have always loved fish, but living so far inland it's always way to expensive and not very good. I actually have a hard time finding much of anything I don't like eating, except maybe eggplant and cucumber. Anyway. I'll be sure to take some cool pictures and give reviews of food and or eateries I come across in Japan, especially the weird stuff, ya know, like 河豚 (fugu, Japanese blowfish that is 90% poisonous).
Thirdly, I am busy. Very, very busy. Tomorrow is just a work day, but Thursday, I go up to Saratoga to get tattooed by my good friend Humplik. (Singer of Gaining Ground, one of the best active New York bands so check em out!) What am I getting done? Well, hopefully a couple things, but here's a picture of what is definitely getting put on my left shoulder:
It should be enlarged to fit over my shoulder cap, and of course still remain hidden for all professional purposes. I'm pretty excited about this. The emblem comes from a collection of Joseph Conrad short stories I picked up at a local library book-sale, the ONLY way to buy books. But yea it's from an old book for school children from something like the 1930s in Scotland. Neat.
Lastly, since my eyes kind of hurt and I might fall asleep in my chair if I go on much longer, here's a special present, a video-tour of my soon-to-be-vacant room:
MY FACE IS ON TEH INTERWEBZ?!!11
Countdown to D-Day: 20 Days.
"I wanna run for president, and focal-point when I'm campaignin' is to put FEMA to work on a plantation in Camp David" - Immortal Technique feat. Diabolic
Feelin a little bummed today. If you don't know me already, than I'll warn you that I tend to fluctuate between hyper/silly and mellow/blah on the regular, and it might be reflected in my bloggy here. The pizza-business has been shitty lately, just making enough to spend, not save. Although I can't deny I love the chill people I work with, it's a very lax environment. And the food is free. :)
I also think about how much I'll miss everyone and how there will be people I don't get to hang out with before I leave. I also really hate it when you leave people messages and they don't respond, it's a personal peeve of mine. There are also those people who you make plans with and almost always bail, making you wonder why you bother trying to make plans in the first place.
But anyone can complain, more importantly I am:
Going to NYC in a few days to solidify my working visa with the Japanese consulate - more fun paperwork I spent a few hours doing today
then going to hang out with Naomi, old friend who lives down that way and go to a party with a bunch of artsy-fartsy people
Working my last days as a pizza delivery man (THANK GOD), it's all over in about 9 days.
Going on a sweet roadtrip to VA Beach with Rich, Laura and Gabe to see some old friends, hit the beach, and see The Sleeping, a post-hardcore band that has really grown on me lately. It will also be my last show in America for a while.
On the subject of shows - there are those of you who don't share my taste in music and that's fine, but if you know anything about anything, you'd be annoyed too if you found out OVERCAST, DISSOLVE, TERROR, DYING FETUS and KATAKLYSM were all playing within a month of your leaving.... that's like 5 sweet shows in a month, after such a dead summer. But, as my friend Ed said: "For everything you miss over here, there'll be something equally as cool over there." Well I hope so!
Finally received an e-mail from my J-employers: I'll be living in Nerima, about 30 minutes east of Shinjuku prefecture in Tokyo by train, but only temporarily. I'm staying at a "guest-house" (what does that mean, really?) for a month due to all the apartments being full. I guess they are waiting for people who worked their year to not renew contract, but how can you really plan something like that? Whatever. When I finally arrive in Japan, after all this hard work and red tape and waiting and everything else, I'm going to be somewhere between shock and utterly estatic.
Still have to pack. Still have to clean things up here at home before I go. I also have about a million things I'm leaving behind, a good chunk of which I should sell on ebay for $$$, however I am (a) lazy (b) a packrat.
In other posi-news, I've been jogging roughly 2 miles a day around scenic hampton manor lake, only about a mile from my house, it really is a beautiful little spot. Trying to get my lower body in shape so I can walk anywhere/everywhere in Japan, since I can't ride a bike to save my life.
MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE POST: I found the myspace of the kid who took pics of my band, Shane, and this picture represents mine and Chris's contempt for humanity nicely:
(Am I casting a palm-muted spell?!??)
Countdown to D-Day: 23 Days.
"I know you're just like me, together we share our misery" - Starkweather
With the clock winding down on NY-time, I've been hastily getting my shit together in an effort to properly prepare for the trip....
....is what I'd like to say, however, I took a much needed "mental-health day" (as my Mother used to call them back in elementary school) yesterday and am feeling much more focused now. Amazing what a good nights sleep can do for you.
Today's topic: LIFE. IN. THE. COUNTRY. OF. JAPAAAAAAAAN.
Hmmm, not quite. Although you have to appreciate the incredibly fancy muwashi (that's the diaper-lookin' thing) that he's wearing.
Oh Bill Murray, how terrible that the Japanese can't appreciate the true greatness of your dead-pan humor. [From Lost in Translation if you were not aware, excellent film]
Ok, my life in Japan, really, is bound to look something more like this:
Yea-huh. Most likely I will be living in a complex of crowded apartments, although maybe I'll get lucky! It's also a big change-up for me in more ways than one, even besides the fact that I've never even been to Japan before, I am used to living in scenic, green and suburban Upstate New York. I mean I've been to New York City, and thank the good lord that Tokyo is supposed to be about 100x more clean and less crime-ridden.
In other words, I'll be going from this:
(Ok, so this was taken in Potsdam, NY - But there are places this nice very close to where I live now)
To this:
(Shinjuku Prefecture, one of the many area of Tokyo I could end up in!)
In which case I should probably end up looking like this:
Man, I loved that movie when I was a kid. Anyway, let's get a little more serious. What is the living situation going to be like for me, really?
Either a single, small apartment like I requested, or
Living with 2 other random teachers (eep) and sharing kitchen and bathroom facilities.
I have an icky feeling that the latter is more likely, although I know a girl who just this past Spring requested roommates and ended up on her own, so who knows. Either way the company is setting up living arrangements through a reputable housing company, but if I don't like where I end up I still have to live there anyway for at least 5 months. Yikes.
Which brings me to my lastest find, oh thank you Internet for all the added fear you bring into our lives on the daily. I got this one from Japan Probe, an interesting news blog I've been checking recently. Observe:
[Foreign Termites invade Japan] - Just watch until the end, the last 15 seconds show the inner-workings of a termite colony. Gross!
And that's just a taste of what is to come, for me and for you, the reader, who gets to laugh, cry, stand up and fall over with me as I bumble my way through a country full of people who are on average 6+ inches shorter than me. :)
But for now, I go on here in boring old East Greenbush, New York. Until next time folks.
Countdown to D-Day: 25 days.
"Inner city life, inner city pressure The concrete world is starting to get ya The city is alive, the city is expanding, Living in the city can be demanding, You've pawned everything, everything you own, Your toothbrush, jar, and a camera phone You don't know where you're going You cross the street You don't know why you did, You walk back across the street." -Flight of the Conchords, "Inner City Pressure"
There once was a boy who did not have any friends. He had his family, his food and his shelter, all the physical things a boy could ever need, but there was gnawing void within his heart. One day this boy, fed up with his consistent isolation and unable to grasp a reason for it, created his own world. He made up people, gave them names, made up places, gave them names, made up stories, gave them names. He was like a God to those of his own world, instead of a lowly person in a world ruled by a cruel God - which he must be, to have left the boy feeling so despondent and desperately alone.
Then, one day, as the boy had just finished a fantastical story in which one of his people built something amazing and fruitful and good for the sake of the town, only to be eventually corrupted by his own power and annihilate almost everything, the boy made a friend. He wasn't a very good friend, but the boy didn't care because this boy was willing to be his friend. And so, over the course of time he came to think less and less about the world he created, and moreso about his friendship and how it related to the world outside. Leaving behind his title of lone master of a Universe for a comparitively menial role in the real world didn't make logical sense to him, but it felt right. There was something that the subjects of his world couldn't give him, something that they lacked horribly, which ultimately made him feel devastatingly more alone when he came out of his trance and realized that none of them were real to anyone but him, no matter how hard he had wished them to be.
Eventually this world was forgotten. The boy made more friends, grew up, and left behind all that he had created, scantly giving it a thought whilst his head rang full of bustling ideas. Money and women, and the act of balancing them with the rest of his life, seemed to take up most of his cognitive function. Many years past, and the boy turned into a man who turned into a married man who turned into an old married man, with children and grandchildren and so on. By degrees he became sickly, some said even demented in his old age, especially after the loss of his wife. There, sitting in his bed, he seemed to no longer recognize the faces of his children, and even the hints of recognition were hazy and wrong, as he often mistook his grandchildren for his children. Unaware of time, he regressed not unwillingly into the dusty regions of a world he had so long ago created. The people there had aged none, and awaited his instruction, his direction, his narrative, his creation. He lamented whatever it was that had kept him so long from such important duties as that of maintaining his own universe, and become more inwardly focused as each day passed. On the day his body fell listless and unmoving, to the dismay of some shadowy figures of which he was now unaware, he managed to push out the word "pencil" from his lips. Taking the writing utensil in his shaky, withered hand, he wrote: "I will always be with you, I created you, and a creator cannot die."
awesome | adjective - extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.
I understand that awesome has taken to mean something totally different in the modern world, but I think it's good to realize that it originally stood that which is awe-inspiring, to the point of fear and over-stimulus.
Just a little rant for today. Nothing much exciting here at camp Belcher, ate a piece of apple pie at Denny's last night and felt as if a thousand little men with pick-axes were hacking away at my intestines. Note to self: Don't eat Denny's ever, ever again. I have not quite felt myself all day and despite going to the gym for the first time in a whole week (a long break by my usual standards) I can't shake this splitting headache.
I studied some Japanese at work while we were slow, and picked back up a book on Plato's philosophy. Both are subjects I want to further myself in but have neglected. I want to become bilingual, and I also want to be well versed in classical and modern philosophy, since language and arguing about shit that can't be proven are two things I will love to the grave.
Heard a bunch of sweet Japanese hardcore bands thanks to my friend and future band-mate Ian. Upon listening to Ensavegement, I said to myself: "I will mosh in Japan." I plan to do more than one musical project, and although I've been a guitarist for 10 years I really want to just do vocals for a hardcore band. If I can get a bunch of Japanese hardcore kids singing along with me in broken Engrish, I will be estatic.
You might say music is awesome, but I disagree. That which we can't understand, the underlying questions such as "how do we know that we know" and "what is our purpose and life" are awesome. That, and this clever Lovecraft spinoff video: (I'm on a big kick with him right now, it won't last forever.....probably)
Many LoL's to be had. I still think about leaving everyday and the pressure to do what I want and what I need are converging into a growing tension that I need to shake off. I'm going to go do something relaxing, I think. Until next time my fellow internerds.
Countdown to D-Day: 27 Days.
"We are entering dimensions beyond space." - In Flames
This will be a thick entry, rife with pictures, text, emotions, and pictures, to keep you interested. Doper and Geebert are calling this one "a triumph of the human spirit," so don't miss this summer's most explosive post!
.......You don't have to pity-laugh, it's OK (That stands for Oll Korrect, by the way, fun factoid of the day). This post is going to be a rare, excessively long and chronological post so bear with me, you won't get many of these unless I feel it is utterly necessary. I mean, what kind of boring story-teller tells a story in order anymore?
Friday was a fairly mediocre day at first: I attended the Midnight Metal Cruise after working a sub-par shift (which was still exciting if only because I have two more days working for that crazy alcoholic boss of mine), and it greatly exceeded my expectations. For one thing, Ironweed killed it, an awesome groove-rock/metal band with the former front-man of the best metal band from Albany ever, Held Under. Very fun stuff. The second band was Dead and Dying....Breed....one of the few bands still known as "troycore," and if you don't know what that is, well, you aren't missing much nowadays.
Anyway, the point isn't so much the bands that played as that it was on the Dutch Apple, a medium-sized boat that does cruises of various sorts. After some intense thunderstorms passed, and I had a few beers with some friends, I silently observed with renewed awe the city of Albany drifting by at a nice, comfortable speed. I saw the State building I worked at for a summer as a paper-pusher, with its green windows and its persianesque dometop; I saw the undersides of greenish-black bridges with supports that are older than me; The black water so calm and our boat humming steadily as she pushed on through, with the smell of fuel sauntering lightly on the breeze, all the while as the boat gently rocked. I had forgotten how much I really enjoy traveling by water, and I greatly look forward to my first trip to South Korea from Japan, which is relatively short distance by boat, and it's cheap too! I will of course be going to visit Yun, Kaitlin and Jaemin, as well as attempting to converse in broken Korean.
Woo, tangent. I had a great time on the metal cruise. I spent the latter hours trying to reel in some fishes, but none were a-bitin'. So, me and Eddy (a man with integrity and a healthy passion for life and questioning EVERYTHING, whom I have neglected to mention in my blog thusfar) perused a few bars and got some completely unnecessary late-night eats at Cafe 217, because it's a nice little joint. I ate Nachos with chili, not only because I had been drinking, but also for another, more pervasive reason: Apparently, while Japan is an acclaimed "eater's paradise" the one thing they can't do right/don't have a decent number of is Spanish/Mexican eateries. While I understand the geographical and cultural gaps which are only part in parcel of the cause for this, it still greatly upsets me since spicy foods are one of my reasons for living. I know there's curry, but c'mon, it ain't the same as a delicious burrito with mega-hot sauce!!!!!
So, following my 4am meal I awoke promptly at noon to meet with my dear friend Sarah for lunch (actually breakfast for us both, but we did not mind) at El Loco, another cool place to eat in Albany. I proceeded to eat delicious burrito with mega-hot sauce, while we talked about our lives, aspirations, yada-yada. The important thing here is that she is just one of many on my list of approximately (and I quote) 239 people I will sorely miss hanging out with. Here is a terribly blurred picture from that day:
After we said our goodbyes (and I had better see you again soon before I go!), I did less memorable stuff like go home and sit around in my underwear with a fan on me to dodge the heat, went to work, and went straight to Troy to pick up Justin, a younger guy who was in (ironically enough) a troycore band, who I've always gotten along with as he is chill and enjoys a lot of the same music as me. Before I explain anything else, I'm Fast Forwarding and loosely quoting my apparent drunken wisdom: "We are dudes who like metal. People don't get it, unless they listen to metal, so we go around being somewhat introverted and keep to ourselves, unless of course we are around someone else who likes metal."
The reason I picked him up was to see the epic Burning Human, a 10+ year old band whose latest cd has been produced by James Murphy of much fame, a band who pre-existed Shadows Fall and still have Jay Bittner as their drummer, a band that is from troy but not troycore so much as rip-your-face-off death metal. They only play once a year now if at all, and I've never seen them before. The other bands were forgettable; But Burning Human, who everyone came and paid an ominous $13 to see, had an absolutely crazy set which included these things, with absolutely no exaggeration whatsoever:
A guy jumping off the stage backwards within 10 seconds, and no-one catching him.
At least half a dozen different fights - not that I'm a fan of this at shows, because I'm not, but as a wise man once said, "anything is funny if it's not happening to you."
Two or three people knocked out cold from sheer mosh madness, also kinda uncouth in my opinion but I was in no way involved.
Firecrackers set off in the middle of the pit
General mayhem and troycore debauchery.
An awesome band with completely devastating tunes.
This might not seem all that appealing to some of you out there; However, if you don't already know, I like metal, therefore I am different from roughly, oh, 93% of the population. If I am surrounded by chaos, violence, and loud, aggressive music, and especially if I get out of it fairly unscathed, I feel cleansed of my demons and really fantastic. Music is therapy, after all.
I proceeded to drop Justin off at some party, upon which made this discovery:
A truly epic night. I also had the extreme pleasure (or Schadenfreude, if you will) of watching a cop pass me and pull over the guy in front of me. I also proceeded to eat at Taco Bell, and came home to crash in at roughly 2am. The point here being that I have a stomach of steel and can take anything, even the beaniest of combinations.
6:52am: I was awakened by Jessica. Background: Me + Jessica is B.F.F., in the truest sense, we've known each other our entire lives. Jessica, her boyfriend Mike Legendary and I all left about an hour later to visit Mountain Creek in New Jersey, a water-park that I have never been to before. Apparently it had some rather unflattering history and an infamous record for injuries and deaths when it was known as Action Park. An interested read, and whoever approved a water-slide with a loop is on some hard drugs, a dead certainty.
Now I wonder why this one didn't last...
I was so tired I don't even remember taking this picture.
We met up with Ace, a friend of Mike's, at Traction Park and proceeded to our doom - er, um, fun. The very first "ride" wasn't a ride at all but a 20' cliff jump into a big pool of water. Here's a fact that will never change: I am afraid of heights. I manned up and stepped forward to take the plunge, and just as I did so the staff-guy said: "no arms out, no diving, no dying." I immediately jumped without looking down, and it was an awesome rush. Probably the closest to cliff-diving that I will ever get. I love water-parks, and on a hot day like today I got more sun than I have so far all summer, excluding my slick driver's tan. I also ended up with my back and shoulders a nice and crispy shade of red by the end.
Anyway, we went on many great rides, and other than NYC- and Jersey-kids being complete douchebags and blatantly cutting long lines, the apathetically pathetic staff, the somewhat crowded conditions, the overpriced food (of which I ate none at all, all day, for the sake of time money and health) and the lack of water fountains, I had a shreddin-good-time. It was a day to remember, to say the least.
We are some classy people, lemme tell ya!
And here I am now, 1:07am, tired as all hell, still chlorine-zonked and burnt out from a busy and awesome weekend. I have so many plans tomorrow that I can tell posting will not happen, so I prioritized this for the sake of retaining all the quirky details.
Real quick, because I'm equally as excited about this, here are a few choice band pictures and the coup de grace of this whole entry:
Damnation Alley - Just Fine. The first material by my band to hit the internet, please check it out if you like metal! :)
That is all from deep space. Tomorrow should include many things, including setting up my technologically-impaired relatives with webcam technology, hanging out with Josh one last time before he makes the move, seeing The Dark Knight, and having our first band practice with the new Drummer, Chris of Recon-fame. I really never used to be this busy, but I like it. Over and out.
Countdown to D-Day: 29 Days.
"Wake up wake up, we're losing everything! Wake up wake up, we are Fixtures.... Do we really want to face reality?" - Achilles
This is, in all cases but especially involving friends, family and people you've known for many years, a damn hard thing to do. I got lunch today with Fran, which is awesome considering she is only back in town for one day, and she lives in D.C. now so we don't get to hang out often. Probably won't see each other again for a few years at least, so let's step into the time machine:
Rewind to when I was 16, sophomore prom, and the only remaining picture I have from then:
Ah, to be young again (LOL)
Fast Forward to 23, and this is deliciously awkward photo of the two of us in Albany on this ungodly hot day:
(and now that I've figured out how to send pics from my phone to my computer, expect a slew of randomness in the next month)
Anyway, this post isn't just amount Fran in her awesomeness but all my sweet friends who are going off to bigger and better things: Josh, Kerri, JT, the list goes on and on. Even those who are sticking around home, I don't blame you, it kind of rules in Upstate Jew York. Stay close via teh interwebs, please.
Coming soon: Ben's Guide to Getting Hired in Japan - the how's who's and why's.
Countdown to D-Day: 32日.
We're all doomed, what's the use? So fuck the world and pass the booze, treat the end with self-abuse 'cuz either way you fucking lose! Nothing really left for us to do! - Toxic Narcotic
...are NOT how I roll, baby. Yes, I got into anime from Akira back in the day (thanks Gabe), yes I beat Mario 1 when I was 4, and yes the Japanese seem to be on the cutting verging threshy threshold of everything, but I don't really obsess over any of these things. I'll admit I used to, to an extent, before my health reforms I would consume mass amounts of anime in a daze of noise, colors and subtitles, but that isn't me now. My anime-watching has gone down to virtually nil in the last year or so, since somehow knowing that I would move there one way or another prompted me to observe American cinema with a fresh eye again. I was the supreme dork to end all dorks of video games (i own at least 8 different consoles) but now find little time to play much of anything, or rather I think of better things to do while I am still in New York. Do I still like these things? Yes, of course, like so many I am sick with J-fever, BUT I am actually pretty interested in Japan's historical and cultural facets beyond just the technology and entertainment... although most historical dramas have been turned into manga...
Manga. The big center topic of this post. For all you J-n00bz out there, manga = Japanese comics. Comics which are ridiculously cheap (something like $3 for Shonen Jump, with 400+ pages) and promote a healthy love of reading, and a literacy rate of 98% to boot. Now, do you wonder why this is exactly? Why aren't comics as popular in America? Long story short, McCarthyism in the 50s directly linked comics books to juvenile delinquency, thereby blacklisting both authors and publishers alike, hence us being left with the utter drivel that some call "the funnies." It only took us until the 00's for Hollywood to figure out, "hey these are like story-boards, and we can make MOVIES out of them!" *slaps forehead* Newsflash to all you comic-adaption-screenplay-writers out there, THE JAPANESE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 30+ YEARS.
Woo, rant. So yea, the Japanese do some things better, mainly comics, seafood and not veering so far from patriarchy and tradition that we lose any semblance of what entails gender. (and for all you feminists out there, I'm not taking it back). Of my original Japanese obsessions, one of the few that remains intact is One Piece, a masterpiece of a comic, and not a bad anime either. That, Berserk and Gantz are the only manga I still follow. Because you are all dying to know.
I finished that Lovecraft story (mofo was flippin crazy) and am moving on to some Poe, until my eyes fall out or I fall asleep, whichever comes first...
Fun Japan Fact of the day: Tipping is almost non-existent in Japan. While it is the biggest non-mandatory income in the United States (and I'm sure in other Western countries as well), apparently it does not live up the seeming importance of the original acronym.
Why do we tip people at all then? Two words: cultural conditioning. And thanks to that, I've made some $$$ over the last year or so I couldn't have otherwise. Is it strange then that I look forward to being relieved from tipping? Even though I always tip well at restaurants, bars etc., because that's how I made my money, maybe we are the ones who are backward here?
There is also the whole mystery element of working a tip-based job - the excitement and nervousness of wondering if today will be a great day, a good day, or just plain awful. You are at the mercy of your customers (and dumb luck), I simply wear a dopey smile and act overly polite and try to make them laugh when possible....so it's like practice for teaching English in Japan! :) But really, I do look forward to working a job with a solid level of income, not one that fluctuates so randomly. I'd rather be rewarded in time by keeping regular students/attracting new students, then be handed $8 tips from people in trailer parks and $1.30 tips from people in mansions.
Numbers. The metric system. Do I know it? NOPE!
I'm currently on a rampant hangout-with-everyone mission, it's going decent so far. Hung out with my ex from high school last week, some old friends, and even received a nice little "shout-out" from a friend who knows I'm leaving - whose band is awesome, and probably one of the longest running/hardest working ones from this area, After the Fall. Not my usual style but some good heartfelt lyrics and excellent riffage.
Speaking of band-related stuff, the last show with Josh who is moving to G-Damn Oregon was a great success, will post youtube videos later (thanks to grizloch for driving out and videotaping). Without going into too much detail, it was one of the funnest shows I've ever played, I'm going to miss this band!
Off to work. Epic local metal legends BURNING HUMAN are playing Saturday, stoked on that since I missed their initial reunion last summer. Getting closer to the last Albany show, closer to the end of the grace period, closer to something that will change my life forever.
Countdown to D-Day: 34 Days.
You're all so important to me, and I won't forget how much this life and this music meant to ME. -After The Fall
I don't know the purpose of this post, I will be honest. There is no direction, no control. NO CONTROL.
Spent the day doing band stuff, working, then a pleasant trip to my good friend Richard's house on Dyken Pond, where we kayaked the awe-inspiring man-made lake and basked in the setting sun. Truly a beautiful place, the trip out there reminds me of my love for Upstate NY scenery, every stinkin' time. Also did some brutal workout training, a program called P90X that is probably the coolest and most efficient way to tone yourself up, highly recommended to you fitness freaks out there.
For a little background, Rich is a long-time friend, an excellent writer and a silly motherfucker. We are planning a trip down to Virginia Beach to hang out with our good friends in Loss of Reason about a week before I depart from the country. Should be an excellent time.
As far as friends go, you know how there's acquaintances, good friends and then your true-blue, take a bullet for 'em type people? Well, Rich is that last one for me. People who are that down to earth, creatively inclined and fun to hang out with are hard to find. Check out his wacky blog at www.richardlives.com.
Went through some digital pictures I have long neglected, for myself but also to reward you, the reader, for sticking with my random post thusfar. The blog default picture on your right was taken in a tube station (subway) in London. I found the wording funny and relavent. Yes, yes I did.
This was me, next to a smart car. !!!
Me and my Mom in the bitter English cold. She's the strongest and most brutal woman I have ever known.
Me and my sister Barbara in Scandonavia.......or Disneyland. I forget.
Me and my fellow stringed instrument-players in a college studio just outside Boston, MA. Very fun times.
Not sure why but I really like this picture. Me and John Torn, manmythLEGEND.
J-O. To the left is a man soon to be leaving on the Oregon trail.
That's enough with the pictures for now. I don't know why, but I enjoy posting them here more than myspace/facebook. That gets into a whole different discussion about the flaws of social networks in general, but I'll spare you all the blah-dee-blah.
On the subject of Japan. There are all sorts of documents I should probably be concerning myself with as far as taxes, traveling insurance, packing, difficult-to-find foodstuffs, but meh, whatever. Sometimes I feel better knowing I have work waiting for me, as strange as that may sound.
I am currently reading random and obscure Edgar Allen Poe stories. I recommend "Angel of the Odd" to anyone who enjoys macabre fiction with a sardonic twist. Also plowing my way through H.P. Lovecraft's "The Dream-Quest to Unknown Kadath," and so far it is EXCELLENT. Like, cats-flying-to-the-moon-to-kill-fungus-creatures-and-slaughter-excellent. I am a reader, it's one of my passions, and I figure no matter how lost, confused, disassociated or disillusioned I may feel at times in Japan, I can always pick up a book and go to the same places that I did back home....READING RAINBOOOOW.
A final little bit, Save Yourself covering One King Down at the Shelter Skate Park in Albany. If you don't already know, OKD were huge and a real fiery ember at the hearth of the Albany Hardcore scene, and playing this set goes in my top 10 my fun shows ever, easily. (If you want to see the rest, youtube it)
Countdown to D-Day: 37 days.
To answer the question It'll probably take more If you're already there well, you probably don't know Well, we were the people That we wanted to know And we're the places that we wanted to go -Modest Mouse
While this is a "live" blog, updated regularly, I consider it to be an unfolding story as well. I will therefore be sorting out the events here in rough chunks of time labeled as "chapters," with a prologue beginning in New York. I will list here the current "chapter" of this chunk of my life story, which I have decided to share with anyone and everyone on the internet.
