Not gonna do it

I'll try really hard to get through this whole post without mentioning study or work. Here goes:

So I'm reading High Fidelity now. Almost finished. I saw the movie years ago and the main character (a vinyl obsessed, relationship obsessed owner of a failing record store recovering from a lifelong series of rejections) is pretty much the same in the book. More internal monologue and motivation and depth, but almost the same. I see a bit of my Father in him, but the High Fidelity guy is of course much more emo. What's interesting to me is that the book raises some thought-provoking questions, like this for example: "Do I listen to pop songs because I'm unhappy, or do pop songs make me unhappy?"

While I hardly listen to anything pop made after 1990, I was raised on 60s, 70s and 80s music nonetheless (again, hat tip to my Father, the only man I know to keep his own top 40 list 30+ years. I'm not being facetious either, I think it's cool!). I can relate a bit to the main character's escapist mentality: he gets in a bad situation, and runs away to listen to some music he can relate to. I've done that many times in my life, although I've been making earnest efforts to be more pro-active and not wallowing around waiting for problems to solve themselves.... even though there are cases where nothing else can be done. What's comforting about this kind of self-therapy - hearing someone else with similar woes or emotions to your own - is of course knowing that you're not alone; Feeling the connection with this person you probably never met, who has swirling thoughts in his head the same as yours. I recall someone as saying Cannibal Corpse was the first music he ever heard that "described what was going on in his mind." I say good for him! (I just can't like that band though, personally)

It's a process more exciting than it has any right to be, cherry-picking songs that fit my current mode. Listening to something depressing while I'm already depressed doesn't do much harm, it just emphasizes my mood but also soothes it in a strange, paradoxical manner... I don't think the ability to relate to others feelings, positive or negative is at all a bad thing. That being said, if I flip on, say, Neglect ("I wish I coulda been a coathanger kid/would've been the best f**king thing you ever did") or Joy Division ("Living in the ice age") I find myself smiling more at the absurdity of the lyrics than actually feeling down about life. It's empowering somehow, to know other people see the futility and desperation and insanity that surrounds our world every day... that has always made me smile. If you ask why, then you're missing the point.

I saw Cocobat the other night. I was blown away by how great they were, they must all be age 37-43 judging by the age of the band itself (almost 20 years), and still put on a powerful, energetic performance. If you can imagine a kind of post-bad brains, pre-metalcore approach to heavy music, with original melodies and unpredictable rhythmic shifts, and tons of slap bass, that is Cocobat in a nutshell. See for yourself:


cocobat live at shelter 2010-2-12 pt3

COCOBAT | MySpace Music Videos

It was kind of a strange night. I had worked until 4:30 at this new school my company opened up, and after changing my clothes I dragged me and my duffle bag down to Shibuya. After some rummaging I found an empty coin locker (hard to come by at that time in the evening, only one was left out of 200) to dump my stuff in. Finally free of that burden (bringing lunch, textbooks, and a change of clothes including sneakers to work then lugging it all on semi- to fully-packed trains can take the wind out of ya) I meandered to the venue, in no particular hurry. As usual the map from the "live house" (japanese-english for concert hall or venue) website was terrible. I later figured out it had the street names wrong - something about the Japanese and street names, eh? - but I found it sure enough. I got a burger from Freshness Burger, the best hamburger chain in Tokyo bar none (I invite anyone to suggest otherwise). I realized I hadn't eaten that kind of greasy goodness since I'd been in the states two months back. I've been eating healthy lately, lots of greens and soba noodles and less meat and all that. This made the experience that much more enjoyable. In short, it was an excellent cheeseburger.

As for the show itself, when I arrived there was a jpop/jrock act opening the gig, which to me seemed downright bizarre. I'm all for mixed bills, but I don't make spaghetti and ice cream sandwiches. I mean honestly, Cocobat is (to use great liberties in appellation) at least an "alternative rock band," whereas Edge of Spirit who played second is complete metalcore, and not the radio-friendly stuff either. Closer to NYC's Irate or Through the Discipline or some such thrash. I though they were great, and had to mosh a bit, even though it wasn't that type of crowd.

Speaking of moshing, and moshpits in general (which I used to be really into and still dabble in occasionally when I'm in the right mood), it's a subcultural phenomenon I could blog about for a while. Let's simplify and leave it at creative expressionist dancing to heavy music, and say it evolved dramatically in the last 30 years, from Slayer-esque pushpits and "slam-dancing" to karate-kicking and dance moves and all that (there is also gang-mentality B.S. that taints it, but lets ignore that for now) I like all styles really - the idea of the pit is to do what you want to the music without any rules or restrictions, so doesn't that make classification somewhat pointless?

Still, for a quick lesson on "mosh," I advise this educational video:



I'm still quite partial to the pizzamaker myself.

This is all of course a late 80s "NY"-slant on things, and there are many different scenes and styles and yadda yadda yadda. But back to the main point: what struck me at the Cocobat show was the pit was comprised 5 or 6 dudes probably as old as the band, all wearing Cocobat shirts and running a no-rules circle pit. They looked they were having a great time, and I had to join them a bit myself. It was that kind of feeling, when the music is so good you can't sit still, that reminds me why I still see bands and go to shows. It's worth it for that experience. This pit was like stepping into a time machine to me, as the style and atmosphere were so far removed from everything I grew up around, more like things I'd seen in old tapes of shows from when I was still a wee one. It was very cool.

And Cocobat is probably one of the best bands in Tokyo still playing. I rank them up there with Slight Slappers. I now have two really awesome bands here I hope to see again. Here's to finding more!

Thank you George

"Scenepoint Blank: Do you think hardcore gets a rep of being lowbrow culture because of the aggression associated with it?

George Hirsch: Naturally my answer would be yes. Anything associated with aggression is almost always automatically labeled as "macho," "jockish," etc. It's sad. In my opinion hardcore is defined by that aggression and volatility. I do not condone unnecessary acts of violence, but I would have to say that hardcore for me stands out musically at its most violent, its most unpredictable. You want something that you can feel and lets you know that you are there. When you are in a room with four-hundred kids and people are just diving off of everything and sweating and screaming every word, that intensity is what hardcore is about for me. So honestly anyone that writes hardcore off as "lowbrow" because of that just doesn't understand it and honestly shouldn't even be checking the music out anyway, At least the music I am a part of. For people like that there is always the cute stuff they can listen to on the radio. If they still have an interest in hardcore they can always go get a crew cut and listen to The First Step."

-Scenepointblank interview with Blacklisted.

I'm not getting into any epic debates defending the kind of music I love, the meatheads who ruin it, those who can't wrap their heads around it or simply refuse to understand it. Not today. But reading this pretty much smacked the nail on the head for me; It speaks to what I love about the music, the style, this community and sub-culture that has been created, and despite being bastardized and turned into a form of big business in safe and easily digestible doses (much the way of metal and its various sub-genres), it still exists in an underground manner that is alive and breathing to this very day. I really need to get to a good hardcore show. I told these guys they need to come back to Tokyo. Here's hoping.

By the way, my life right now = spreading my tentacles out every which way, meeting new people, trying/doing new things and having fun a bit more. Studying will take an official backseat until March or April. This is good, you were right Kyle, I worked hard for a good 6 months so I should play hard for a little while longer. Also, while I'm direct-responding to readers, Tokyo-Working Girl, sorry I'm late on this - why don't you message me on Skype when you have a chance? The only Ben Belcher in Japan. We can discuss jobs and what yours is like there, I'm curious. Also if anyone else is really dying to have a chat with me for whatever reason, you can look me up on the aforementioned program, but I only accept messages from people I know so please identify yourself properly, thanks.

This week I feel like going back to school for a PHD would be a waste of time and a delve too far into academia for my tastes. There must be more options out there in the world of education. Maybe a terminal M.A. would suit me better, though I still don't know what exactly it would be in. The more I think the harder it gets to move, so here I will stay where it's cozy and I am happiest. For now! I can work while having ample time to explore music, books and my own interests. Can't ask for much more, save a bigger paycheck. Except that I remember thinking from a young age that when I finally grew up and got a job, I wouldn't become obsessed with the monetary value, but focus solely on how much I could enjoy it. No point in being a lawyer if it makes you miserable. So by that logic, I'm doing the right thing right now.

In case I'm being to ambiguous: all I want to do is be a teacher. I'd ideally like to teach higher level education at some point, I think. Either way I was right when I blogged it almost two years ago: "here's to being a teacher forever." Maybe I'll feel different 5 or 10 years from now, bitter and old mannish about the whole shtick, but it's hard to imagine.

The human brain didn't evolve with this many decision-making synapses in mind, constantly pulsating and driving ourselves crazy. This is why the modern world overwhelms us all - we are merely animals with far too many extraneous factors besides eating, sleeping and procreation keeping us busy.




"I'll be grazing by your window/Please come pat me on the head/I just want to find out what you're nice to me for/When I look up don't think I don't know/About all the scabs you dread/
It's hard to stomach the gore" Dinosaur Jr.

"Wish I knew safety/Wish nothing phased me/ Wish I felt more than just feelings of unrest/Wish the darkness didn't cloud me/Wish I wasn't an emotional wreck" - Blacklisted

...creep into place...

I couldn't help looking into the bathroom mirror and laughing hysterically. What a ride. As I walked out of the airport facilities I thought to myself: either I need some tums or I should just keep away from sausage biscuits, not sure as of January 3rd 8pm Tokyo time, 6am at my current location of Albany New York. Albany airport to be exact (about time they provided free wifi here!). Newark, New Jersey doesn't do the same though, so this will be my last communication until I'm back in the Japanland.

This is a red-eye flight of sorts, even though I woke up at 2:30am this morning. Fairly ridiculous when you think about it.

I'm not in disbelief I'm going back to Tokyo, I merely find myself laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. And possibly the unbearable light of being as well. Huge thanks and much love to all my friends and family who made my vacation so enjoyable. Also, list of awesome bands I saw in the States over vacation, that I'd recommend to you all:


After the Fall
Born Low
Damnation Alley
Make do and Mend
Down to Nothing
Forfeit
Oak and Bone
Trapped Under Ice
Sun God

I could through myspace links in there... or you could just google ANY of those names and the word myspace. C'mon, you won't.

If anyone really wants to know what's in my head, or perhaps why I'm going back to foreign lands and am content to do so, you need look no further:



"Go to work, go to school
Get an education, so you won't be a fool
Be a doctor, PHD, all that shit, that's not for me

All my life people tell what to say
This is my life live it my own way

Was so blind could not see
figures of authority, always standing behind me,
ready to come down on me

All my life people tell what to say
This is my life live it my own way" - Sick of it All, "My Life"

I now leave you as a "quote" in typical E.F.N.Y. fashion, the first track off of After the Fall's latest CD "Fort Orange." It's the best work yet from an amazing local band that has been together almost 10 years... and who I should see in Tokyo this year. Go dudes!! Fort Orange is the original name of my beautiful hometown of Albany, NY, by the way. I don't have the lyric sheet with me so here's most of it from memory.

"December 31st marks the day when Albany police opened fire on Lark street and killed an innocent man. Tell me what the fuck were you thinking, were you following standard procedure, to protect and serve?.... David Scraringe was only 24, he had a family not just another name.... those cops never saw any punishment to this day" After the Fall - "Fort Orange"

That's not bad, it's baaad yo

I recall when I was 14, 15, 16, and I used to listen to Angel, the singer of my high school band My Own Demons, describe bands to me: "That band is baaad yo." This always perplexed me. I mean, if he showed gesticulations indicating favor towards the band, then I could assume he was misusing the word bad as slang, or short for "bad-ass" or something. That was clear enough. But then, when me and James and Dan (drummer and bassist respectively) would write tunes, and he said "that's bad!" I was always terribly confused and in need of clarification.

Last night, when I saw Bishop and Loyal to the Grave at Club Era in Shimokitazawa, I was talking to Akira, who I have mentioned before in this blog. He's a devoted troycore lover and general fan of 90s-era New York Hardcore - he especially worships Cutthroat, who have a special place in my heart as well. So we were talking (in Japanese) and I asked him what bands he likes nowadays, since all his favorites are at least 10 years old - Stigmata, Dying Breed, etc. Here's a rough transcript:

例えば，このごろハードコアバンドの中で最高はテラーと思う
me: "Well, for example, I think Terror is the best hardcore band going today."

まあ，テラーは。。。ー＿ー
Akira: "Terror, no I don't really like Terror"

なんで？バリッドアライブ好きんだろう？
"Really? But don't you like Buried Alive?"

うん，そうな
"Well, yea."

同じヴォカリスと！すっげ！ライブは最高だぜ
It's the same vocalist! They destroy! They are so good live.

まあ，ライブテラーはヤベエな
Yea, live Terror are bad.

なに？つまりテラーが好きじゃない？
What? In other words you don't like Terror?

違う，そのバンドのライブはヤベエエ
No, that band is just really bad live

ちょっと待って、「ヤバい」という意味は好きじゃないんでしょう？
Wait, "bad" means you don't like them?

ちがっ、「ヤベエ」はかっこいい
No, "bad" means they are sick/cool/good


Talk about across the globe high-school flashbacks.

I also had a fun time at the show, got called "crazy" for dancing just like I always have back home (I think being the only white guy in the crowd and my size has something to do with it - lots of Japanese dudes gettin down too), and left with a slighty busted nose. All in all a good time. As an added bonus, talking to Akira and some other dudes, I got to practice my manly Japanese, which is a hell of a lot harder than it sounds - a lot of different word shortenings and speech patters are used by men only, it's a much more gender-defined language than English, in my opinion.

Today was an amazing band practice. New songs being wrapped up, studio time in the near future, and show dates being planned. January 17 is a definite, details T.B.A. Also some heavy news about the future of the band, or at least that it will be on haitus for a while next year.... :/ But I can't talk details, not yet. Still, whatever happens, it's a wild ride, and F.I.D. are 100% solid people, and some of my best friends in Japan.

This talk of change though, it makes me think about how I'm actually leaving this country behind (permanently?) some time in the future. Weird.


"Stay cold! You can't hurt me anymore" - Trapped under Ice

"Pushed to the limits of functioning human condition, my brain stem snaps from the pressure" - xBishopx

Time well spent (is?)

I often have been too forward-looking. It's not a trait common in younger people, as far as I can tell, but it's how I've functioned and seen the world for as long as I can remember. Being a planner (and the slightest bit of a control freak) has its advantages: being relatively organized, spending time efficiently, feeling like my life is in order. But it also prevents me from "living in the moment" sometimes. I went to a show the other night, the first one I've really experienced in a long time (excluding something last weekend - I'll explain later). There's something still a bit awkward about being at a hardcore show - and it isn't that everyone is Asian. Yet I felt a kind of release and lack of time awareness that one can experience only through their own passions. Things that eat you alive they are so enjoyable. Things that suck up all of your mental processing power. I live for these sorts of things: reading, music, studying, exercise, spending time with friends and enjoyable conversations. Outside of these activities, I sometimes get stuck in a kind of stagnancy, thinking too much about the future or the past. Even as I write this, in the back of my mind I'm thinking about the books I put down to do so. I'm halfway through watching the Goonies as well - that's how important this blog is to me. :)

This time-management obsession is something that's part of my personality, and I don't see it changing any time soon. I can only remind myself to not let it control my life.

I woke up the other day to "salsa's here." Nick, my neighbor who moved out 4 months back, showed up unexpectedly around 9am with a jar of salsa from California, per request. I knew he was coming back, but didn't know when. It's almost surreal, and another example of how the world moves like crazy around me, but my routine and place of living have stayed the same. I like that reliability. Anyhow, Nick is back, if only temporarily before he moves for his job/school. Going for his masters in TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) at Temple University, and I say more power to ya buddy.

Last weekend, I had a ticket to see Madball. I was excited about this. Before that, I went to the gym, then went to the going away party of someone who has been here 15 years, but had to leave for job and personal reasons. He's a real cool dude with good taste in music, and for what it's worth, he was the first trainer I met when I moved to Japan (as he used to work for my company). I remember that day, so nervous, so unsure of what to expect and how it would all go down, and he made me feel strangely at home at 7pm in a bleached-white classroom setting, doing some kind of "favorite food/favorite song" survey activity, meeting my fellow trainees. A good guy, and I went to his farewell thing in Yoyogi Park to wish him the best of luck. That was quite nice, I played frisbee, watched the Yakuza and 50s-pompadour-style guys and gals dance it up in the park, and had a few drinks with some co-workers. After a while it was time to hit up the show.

But when I got there, I felt like complete shit. I had been in Yoyogi earlier, and Shibuya holds no less crowds than Harajuku on a Sunday; they are both incredibly trendy and popular spots. Not that I care about trendy or popular, but that's where the parties and hardcore shows happen. And as an important aside, I don't like big crowds. My only real experiences with places jammed with people was ever was at shows back home. Fair enough. But here, it's like crowds lurk around every corner, and when I arrived at the show to find it crowded to the point of difficulty getting around - the bottle-neck design between the bar and the merchandise tables to the main stage didn't help - I felt suffocated. Not that I'm claustrophobic, or agoraphobic, I just didn't feel like being there at that time, I'd had enough. It might have been the mid-day beer, or the lack of caffeine supplementing it, but I knew my mood and mind was set. I watched 2 bands, wasn't feeling it at all, and headed home. 4000 yen and a chance to see an NYHC band wasted, but I knew that getting away from the throngs was what felt right at that point in time.

See, I'm the kind of guy who needs my space. Seriously. I know what you're thinking: "smart move coming to Tokyo," right? Well, for the record, on my job application under desired location I wrote: "anywhere in Japan." And I prefer Osaka people and their over-the-top sense of humor to Tokyo seriousness any day! But that's besides the point.

So I was a little bummed and felt like I had wasted time and money. In retrospect though, I'd seen Madball nearly 5 or 6 times back home anyway. This weekend, I made it up by playing with kids for 3 freakin' hours and making them circle pit (they call it musical chairs, but I see a lot of resemblance), and then going to see Loyal to the Grave, Maroon and the Acacia Strain and pit it up there. This was at the exact same venue as last weekend, mind you. But my mood was entirely different. I missed xBISHOPx who I wanted to see, however they're playing Shimokitazawa next Saturday, and I'll be there with bells on. The show was an awesome time, I got to vent out my frustrations and felt a lot better.

Oh, and Sunday (yesterday) I was supposed to have band practice, but canceled it for other plans which got canceled. Do'h! Not all was lost, as I finished Remembering The Kanji volume 1!!!! That's 2043 kanji I can write. Boo freakin' yah. I expected confetti and streamers to magically appear at the time of my completion, yet none did. I love hitting milestones like this. I also finished a vocab book of about 1500 words, and will be done with my grammar book of no less than 180 grammar points this week. 3 months until the big test. I have to keep up this pace to stand any chance, so there's nothing to do but stay pumped on Japanese for the next 12 weeks. A week after my test, I'll be visiting home. I don't know if I've ever looked forward to any Christmas more in my life.

"Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here." - Goonies

P.S. This marks the beginning of chapter 7. Why? Because it's typhooning a bit outside.

"Now that's hardcore"

Hardcore has become a label for a subgenre of somewhat trendy music. The idea came from separating it from radio-friendly trash or wanna-be hair-bands in the 80s though. I forget where I heard it, maybe the "American Hardcore" documentary, but it was something along the lines of: "Yea, you'll like this band, they're really hardcore." Hardcore punk just means real punk. Not something with an image for the sake of it, not a cash machine, but something you feel with all your heart and do because you love it.

I've come to realize in years though that the line between faking the punk and living hardcore is not so black and white. Tonight, I went to my first hardcore show in almost 6 months. That's amazing, because back home I used to go to a show almost every weekend - granted I cut it down to once a month, once every other month at times - but I'd been steadily attending shows and "part of the scene" if you will ever since I was 17. And in fact I'd been going to shows since I was 14, but not having a car or money can be a surprising hindrance on making it to gigs.

Anyway, I must have seen over 1000 shows if I add them all together. Tonight was something like my 7th or 8th in Japan. I got offered a guest list spot by my friend Koba - or as I have named him COBRA - so I decided why not see some new bands. I was especially interested in Doggy Hoods, a band sounds kind of like Bulldoze and other oldschool NY hardcore bands. But I'll get to that later.

It's been sweltering, and I mean it, 90 degree heat with 90% humidity, for what seems like an eternity. I really had to push myself to even leave the apartment, but thanks to my patented Gaining Ground tank-top I felt slightly less hampered. I made the trains, and walked into the belly of the beast, downtown Shinjuku, a.k.a. Kabukicho. That's where ACB, the venue is located, and it also happens to be a district infamous for it sleaze, Visual-K acts (poofy-hair boy bands), host and hostess clubs, and even more sleaze. It oozes it. Also it's always dumb-crowded, at least 10% with tourists. I saw a line stretching around the corner and coming back again of over 100 people waiting to get into what looked like a new McDonalds. I laughed out loud, unable to control myself, at the sheer ridiculousness of it. This is a sub-rant about how, deep down, I loathe the big city and secretly wish I was living anywhere else in Japan. It's the place with the most opportunity, but at the cost of many souls I should think.

"MONEY STINKS MONEY STINKS, THIS CITY STINKS" - D.R.I.

So I got to the venue. The club, or "livehouse" if you wanna use Janglish, is 3 stories underground, my biggest qualm with the place. Otherwise its great: no security, a knee-high stage perfect for diving, and a nice dance floor. About the size of Valentines back in Albany, for you NY people. I saw 3 or 4 bands that can best be described as melodic hardcore - all interesting enough, but none of them striking my fancy. I hadn't been to a show in half a year and thought hey, I need to mosh, it's long overdue. Give me something that sounds closer to a sledgehammer breaking a watermelon in half on a concrete cinderblock, not this boy-girl makeout music. (Not that it was that soft, or bad, but I wasn't feeling it)

Then Doggy Hoods played. The sampled a rap song and walked out with custom Nike sneakers hanging by knotted laces around their necks. They all wore matching shirts with a crown design (incredibly campy by American standards but it seems to be cool here). The singer at one point busted out into a freestyle which had me laughing in tears. They had a big fat guy drinking a cola surge energy drink on the side of the stage, almost just for the sake of standing there and grooving (maybe he's a former sumo wrestler or something, I dunno but he was slapping his gut every time he laughed). They were heavy and tight, and even covered Slayer's "Reign in Blood," which I got a kick out of.

My main point in all this is Doggy Hoods were almost exactly what I expected. They played fast and slow parts, I danced and a lot of the crowd got down, it was crazy and wild and all that. But hardcore? What's passionate about neon-green sneakers? What's truely moving about wearing matching clothes and dog tags around your neck? Just like in the states, I thought to myself, it's a fashion before passion wasteland.

I've come to realize however that fashion and image is a necessary evil with any genre of music, or any band. People have expectations, and if they are fulfilled to the nines, they are much happier than they would be with a surprise 20-minute freeform Jazz odyssey. Go figure.

Even I was happy. But, I think I'm growing up. Dammit. Seeing kids pile-on for sing-alongs and do stagedives still makes me smile, but unless it's a band I'm really into, I don't feel the same passion I used to a few years back. It's like a spark that faded little by little, coinciding with the disillusion of adulthood. I think there's great merit to people singing alike words with perfect strangers (even if there's no melody, DAD), dancing and doing what feels right, just letting lose and forgetting their troubles in creative expression for a while. It goes back to our primitive roots. But the real wacky part is, like I said to one guy, almost everyone in Tokyo moshes just like people in NY! It's like Bizarro Albany where everyone is Asian!

Now that I've spoiled the brooding mood and seriousness of this post, allow me to end with an extra special anecdote or 2.

1) I pointed out to a guy in a Boston redsox hat and black shirt with Brooklyn on it the irony in his clothing, but he didn't get it. He did proceed to say "You look like Raybeez" and to call me Raybeez for the rest of the night. I took that as a compliment.

2) As I mentioned, I was wearing my Gaining Ground stuff. My buddy Koba knows em, but I didn't expect anyone else to. (Koba and the Loyal to the Grave dudes love NYHC) But I met one guy who recognized it, he even knew where they were from! ALBANY! HE KNEW ALBANY! At which point I looked to the sky and thanked God for all his good blessings. Oh, and did I mention it's really annoying how no one here has a concept that lives down the street from a parsec of a clue as to New York outside of NYC? And how I try to avoid saying where I'm from, because countless times I've gotten the "I think, New York is such big city, how do you live there?" response which makes me want to cry and scream at the same time? No? Well, that's the case.

ANYWAY, this guy knew GG, and he had seen them in concert in Canada last summer. This is a fairly local band who have only done one major tour outside of the U.S. at all, and this was a Tokyoite 6000+ miles from home I was talking to, so it made me happy. That concludes our broadcast.


"1492

can someone explain to me
why we dedicate a day
to a fucking rapist
are we that disillusioned
that we've forgotten how to read
and when we do
we look past the facts

as a whole
we refer to knowledge learned in basic education
reciting songs
of faithful voyage
and sugar coated exploration

and we continue to celebrate
and we continue to praise his name
but we look past the genocide
we look past the fucking rape


but why dont we teach our children
why do we plague them half the fact
they see a loyal captain
i see a filthy fucking rat

were cultured to be content
were brought up to abide
the aincient ropes that tie us together
are made of rotting lies

with our minds
so young
we become
so numb

social manipulation
we continue to celebrate
social manipulation
and we look past the fucking rape" - Gaining Ground

Troy, NY

With all the fuss I make about the 20+ year-old musical sub-genre affectionately known as troycore, I thought I would give everyone some valuable insight into the city behind the name. The original home of Uncle Sam, it is coined rather accurately in the first video I have linked today as "the city that modernization forgot." From the boarded-up buildings and the various bums meandering the streets downtown, to the unflattering nickname of "troylets" for its citizens and the rumors that there's "something in the water," it seems not exactly the friendliest place upon first glance. However I have known many stand-up individuals who call this place home, amazing bands who were birthed here - Stigmata, Burning Human and Dying Breed, just to name a few - and it's a city rich in history and it's own bizarre underbelly of subculture.

To start off this video tour de force, a hilarious mockumentary on the sights to see in lovely Troy, NY:



Deserving more than just an honorable mention, stand-up individual and all around cool dude Mike V. owned and operated the Hudson Duster, an amazing and ultimately weird little hole in the wall venue. With a regrettably short lifespan of only 3 or 4 years, it closed down due to some unfortunate circumstances. I remember being upset at the news, not only because it was such a rad place, but because this was merely weeks before my 21st birthday. I had been waiting to tackle the "Brick by Brick Burger," a huge houseburger that could win the buyer a free pitcher of beer if completely consumed. Sadly, I never got to attempt this feat.

The Hudson Duster was one of my favorite venues ever, second only to Valentiens which is still thankfully running to this day. Being a mere 14 feet wide and sort of a narrow hall with a second-story stage, it housed many awesome shows in its hayday. Inevitably the loose regulations and allowance of completely and total chaos in such a small area played part in its downfall although I think we all knew it was too good to last forever. I remember some great shows, such as the Brick by Brick and Save Yourself show which is highlighted below, and a last-minute Walls of Jericho and Bury Your Dead gig due to a huge snow-storm which stopped the bands from making their Buffalo date (this was of course before both bands turned into almost completely unlistenable crap, in my humble opinion). I saw people moshed into fireplaces, kids jump off of bars, dive off of pool tables, and so many things that made it incredibly dangerous by undeniably awesome at the same time. Here is the best video I could find that really captures just how nuts this place could get, big props to the creator of it:


R.I.P. The Hudson Duster, the only venue I've ever known run by hardcore for hardcore.

And lastly, just for laughs:


Troy is full of individualistic citizens whom hold firmly to their freedoms.


It's not where I grew up, but it's just a short drive away. Troy has been and always will be an historic city, but much like the rest of Upstate New York, it is most likely doomed to relative obscurity. Here's hoping for a new wave of insanely talented musicians



Modern troycore bands of note:

Brick by Brick
Murderer's Row
Last Call


P.S. I don't take credit for any of these pictures or videos, I just wanted to compile them for those curious. I highly recommend checking out all the bands I mentioned, because even 6000+ miles from home I'm still representing Upstate!

P.S.S. Stigmata and Burning Human are playing with my old band Damnation Alley back home in a next week, and I expect all my friends reading this who are going to mosh in my absence. Thanks.

A new feature: CD of the Week

Every week, I will now be featuring a CD that I recommend all you people out there check out! First off it's H20's first cd in like 8 years, "Nothing to Prove." True hardcore heavyweights, they could sometimes be called pop punk, sometimes positive hardcore, sometimes melodic hardcore, but regardless of their genre placement, one thing is for certain: This CD is some of the most well-written, passionate hardcore I have heard all year. It cries out questions that have been eating me for years, especially pertaining to the current state of the "hardcore" and "punk" scene in America:

"What happened to the passion? What happened to the reason for screaming? What happened the music and the message that I love?"

The whole record is solid through and through, and is significantly more angry and hardcore than some of their more "recent" releases. Guest vocals from Lou of Sick of it All, the singer of Madball, and Agnostic Front should be enough to attract any fan of the genre, if not the fact that this band has never forgotten their roots.

There are intermittent clips of a lot of different people talking on this, but especially amusing is the kid on the record who says things like: "H20 GO!" "I'm straightedge for life you suckers!" And my personal favorite: "My Dad has too many tattoos!" Overall the record is, if anything, over too quickly.

My Rating: 8.5/10

Link: http://www.myspace.com/h2ofamily

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Please feel free to give any feedback on these entries! (and all of them, for that matter) I'm also always looking for new bands to listen to, so I'll gladly take recommendations. Expect something more Japanese next week, although I will be trying my best not to limit myself to one specific genre or locality.

A really big update on this crazy weekend coming by tomorrow at the latest, and with lots of pictures! Thanks for reading everyone, it gives me motivation to keep writing!

Roadtrips, recording sessions, and really ridiculous ragers. [warning: very not-Japan related]

I would like to introduce this blog, as the little warning so succinctly states, as a testament to my friends, my bandmates both current and former, and anyone and everyone who has shared with me in the past a love of hardcore music and shows. My life is approaching some huge changes, and although I'm already making premature plans for starting some projects in Tokyo with my friend Ian, nothing will ever be the same as New York. So, from a guy who has been going to shows since he was 14, ran and indexed a website with pictures of local bands for 4 years, and has quite literally felt his life heavily impacted and changed by hardcore music and the people involved with it, this is my current story and a nostalgic gander of appreciation to the past, with a tinge of blind hope for the future.

Roadtrips-

Some of the best and worst times of my life have been roadtrips. The roadtrip is by nature an unpredictable animal. If you really think about it, you're flying down 100s of miles of pavement in a metal box with several other bio-organisms like yourself, all equally succeptible to injury or fatallity at the hand of an irresponsible driver, whether he's in your car or not. But then again, risk is one of those things that just makes life exciting, now isn't it?

Traveling to Hellfest 2002 in Syracuse, my first real roadtrip with John Torn (an enigmatic character whose personality may only be described as indubitable) to Glens falls in his "spaceship" van in 2001 to see Locked in a Vacancy if I remember rightly, and all the trips in between from Pennsylvania to Virginia Beach to Rhode island have been memorable experiences for me. The worse ones include people falling asleep due to heavy ingestion of White Castle at 1pm before leaving New Jersey, and the fact that we would have all died several times had I not be forcefully holding my eyelids open as the others slept in the back, and the driver almost slept at the wheel.

The roadtrip I took yesterday is one I personally hope to never forget, as it was with a unique group of individuals whom I've had the privilige of writing music with over the last 7 months. Former band members of a previous project I was involved in called Save Yourself include Chris and the aforementioned JT are both creative individuals, the former being the best bass player I've ever got to write with, the latter a maniacal lyricist who actually believes in passion and genuineness of his verse, a rare quality nowadays. Our drummer Josh I've known for many years although not nearly as well as I should have, he has much like myself truly come into his own writing style and "leveled up" quite well over the years. Finally Dave, who unfortunately couldn't play on the record due to a pinched nerve (a guitarists worst enemy next to carpel tunnel and tendinitis) was good enough to come along anyway, and I'm certainly glad he did.

If you don't already know, I've played guitar for almost 10 years, self-taught, not a by-the-books musician by any means. I love my ESP LTD and my 5150 head w/ mesa boogie speaker cabinet almost as much as life itself.

Our trip was to Brookline, just outside of Boston, Massachussettes, where former guitarist of One King Down (A straight edge/animal liberation-themed hardcore band of the late '90s from Albany) Mike Scoville, a talented individual and man I greatly admire, was kind enough to produce our demo for one of his classes in Sound Engineering, and for lack of a better word, it ruled.


Recording sessions-

I've recorded 4 times before in my life, and it's always an experience full of mixed affect: love, hate, frustration, relief, over-analysis, and ear-strain. We arrived at 3pm, and after about 2 hours of setting up drum mics (if you've never been in a studio before, that's incredibly fast for setting up mics,) something like 18 including 5 aerial microphones which greatly excited me, we began to lay down drum, guitar and bass tracks. We pushed on far into the night around 12:45 before we actually left for home, and I can't stress enough the saint-like patience of individuals who gruellingly review the same 3 seconds of music dozens of times or with dozens of takes to "punch in" a proper take of a musical track. It's no easy task and one I don't think I could ever do myself.

After many, many takes and corrections we actually hammered out all 6 songs we wrote, plus one super-secret cover song, and even though we're going back in a month to finish lead guitars, vocals and mixing, we definitely accomplished an impressive amount.

Really ridiculous ragers-

Rager: (As defined by me) The expression or outlet of volatile emotional discharge through a creative process that may include singing, screaming, playing an instrument, or many various physical and mental activities. The result leaves you feeling cleansed of repressed emotions, devoid of previous overwhelming frustration, and altogether better than before the rager.

This process of raging is how I'd like to define all the music I've ever written, but especially this last project, possibly my last New York-based band for a long time. We had so much fun writing and hanging out together, that it almost feels a shame to stop now. But, with Josh moving to Oregon in 2 weeks, and me moving in 5, it's time to say goodbye to the NY music scene, which is basically the same as saying goodbye to family and friends. I've made so many great friends along this wild ride. It was in hardcore music I found people I could finally relate to, words that meant something to me, and inspiration to stop taking life as it came and start changing thigns for the better. Every single person who has been involved with me in music project, and every single friend who I've even only ever seen at shows, have all impacted and inspired me with their individuality and desire to just be themselves, and not conform to what is easily accepted, normal or expected. And so with this post I begin the end of my "music career" in New York, although past projects have had rather underwhelming results it has all meant the world to me, and been some of the most fun that I have ever had.


Some info and links:

My current band: Damnation Alley (free downloadable demo coming in August)

Previous band that was my favorite: Save Yourself (R.I.P., and Josh Turner start a new band already, please)