My head has been full for weeks, I could say a lot of things right now. I'm not ready to say most of them yet though, and certain things I have no intention of writing the majority of them in a public blog. Let's just say that coming back home has put me face to face with some of the more difficult life-related decisions I've been reluctantly avoiding for the last year or two. Being an adult? Not easy. But I'm blessed with loved ones who support me, and a will to keep on pushing on. I'm not exactly sure where to push however. I've had to cut ties, turn my back to people and aspects of life I once held dear to be on the "adventure" I am now. And now that I'm back over here, in Tokyo, I'm glad to be here, but it comes with very real price tag. I'm only now beginning to realize some of the weight that has come with my separation with the old world, my old environment where I spent 23 years and some change. Reinventing one's life takes a lot.
I'll be 25 in April. Where will I be at 30 if I'm still kicking? My guess is probably just as philosophical and even more confused about which way to turn. I just wouldn't have it any other way. That's life, and I'm cool with that.
On the plus side of everything, I've written more poetry in the last 2 days than I have in the past 6 months. I'm not happy if I'm not creating something. So here's to you 2010, may you be as revealing and lucky of a year as 2009 was for me, lord knows I've seen much much worse in the past.
"You're not in this all alone just look around and you'll see, the answer's right before your eyes I'm here for you and you for me. It's hard to open up, just try and you'll see, that true friends will always be there." - Sick of it All
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