So maybe only John Torn has been with me since the beginning, but I've been doing this blog for almost a year. What does that mean? It's an accomplishment of sorts, to have kept writing steadily for a year. It also means I've almost been living in Japan for near on one whole year, which is both humbling and scary at the same time.
I took a few minutes to go back and read some of my first posts on this blog this morning. How have my opinions changed, how have I changed? Not so much as I had expected, or at least not noticeably. Though I suppose when one is around oneself all the time one cannot detect the minute differences, can one?... Ahem. But it did make me feel nostalgic about playing in Damnation Alley, my last music project in NY, and one of the funnest bands I've ever done. And JT, if you're reading this, weekend tour, when I'm home, some time between December 13-January 3rd, MAKE IT HAPPEN BRO. Me and Rich are on board!
Anyway, here's a snippet of what I'm talking about: (god I can feel the pretentiousness just oozing from me by quoting myself)
"This process of raging is how I'd like to define all the music I've ever written, but especially this last project, possibly my last New York-based band for a long time. We had so much fun writing and hanging out together, that it almost feels a shame to stop now. But, with Josh moving to Oregon in 2 weeks, and me moving in 5, it's time to say goodbye to the NY music scene, which is basically the same as saying goodbye to family and friends. I've made so many great friends along this wild ride. It was in hardcore music I found people I could finally relate to, words that meant something to me, and inspiration to stop taking life as it came and start changing things for the better. ...although past projects have had rather underwhelming results they have all meant the world to me, and been some of the most fun that I have ever had in my life." - from this dinosaur of a post.
I still rage all the time, yet sadly, don't attend shows nearly as often as I'd like. I can't wait to be doing it the right way, where my band plays the show so I don't have to fork over 3500 yen at the door. And comparing Damnation Alley, my last band, with F.I.D., my current band, is about as apples and oranges as you can get. Two totally different styles, totally different genders, totally different cultures. But they both shared one thing, and that's the fun of writing and creating something - oh, and they're both composed of stand-up dudes and ladies.
Even more embarrassing is looking back on my very first post (you don't want to, trust me) and to see what my goals were. Did I keep the blog free of whininess? As much as possible, but a guy has to complain now and then. Did I keep it un-work related? As much as possible, but work is such a huge part of my life, it can't just be totally ignored. Did I keep it true to my feelings and has it been an outlet that makes me feel a bit more connected with my loved ones back home, and the random people who read it but never say anything? That is where the greatest success has been, for sure.
I have lost my train of thought. Um. I am in a bit of a rush this morning, second Chinese lesson, then I'm going on a quest to find Frank's Red Hot or some facsimile thereof at a foreign food store, and finally work. It's gonna be a full day, I already know that. So let's stop here for now.
"It's an old trick, writing of life as if you really had an angle on it. I do it myself. I even admire my own piss when I'm pissing... piss and writing, we're closest to our own." - Charles Bukowski, "Piss and Shit."
"Another day, another year, so what's the hurry?" H20
"I never want to feel that way, I never want to hear those words again" - Skycamefalling
P.S. I keep forgetting to click the "publish" button when I read my comments - so if you're wondering why yours haven't shown up, sorry! I really like hearing from people through here. :)
I'd like to start off today's blog by saying that the shift from New York to Japan has been a big one for many different reasons: New food, new job, new living situation, new country, and so on to infinity.
Infinity
There is one thing that hasn't changed though: Wherever I go I can meet people who like the music that I do, who want that release that only a hardcore show can give you. For people who don't understand the appeal to the music, it's a hard concept to explain. For those of us that know, we know all too well.
What's going on in the above picture would probably look like a riot, a massive fight or just total chaos to most people, but to those of us who are familiar, it's a mosh pit. This idea has been misidentified and incorrectly defined most especially in the last 10 years on the internet (thanks youtube), and I'm not here to give you a proper definition: it's the kind of social spectacle you have to witness for yourself to try and understand. The energy is as amazing here as anywhere else, and I find the atmosphere to be especially positive.
Tokyo is also perhaps unique in that (as one older teacher so poignantly said): "No matter how niche or obscure a band is, they'll have a following in Tokyo." I've already talked to a few people here about "troycore" - a word for hardcore from Troy, NY a somewhat impoverished yet historical city across the river from Albany and the original home of Uncle Sam. I talked to a fellow named Akira at this show about Burning Human, Stigmata, Dying Breed, Dissent and Cutthroat, and some of those troycore bands rarely if ever even played out of New York. All but 1 are long defunct, being at least 10 years dated if not more. My point is the fact that I can have a conversation about my hometown bands all the way over here made me feel especially happy, and perhaps a little less completely out of place. Akira said he was also glad someone else knew these bands.
"I want to go to Troy," he said.
The club that the show was held at, Shinjuku ACB, is smack between the adult district and the hotel district of West Shinjuku, which is kiddy corner to a 20 story hospital. I suppose this all made sense to someone at some point in time. Before the show I stopped in an arcade and took the drumming picture above, and also tried Guitar Freaks, which is basically Japanese Guitar Hero (I'm pretty sure they thought of it first). And I stumbled upon some event at a public square which involved taiko (drumming) and dancing:
I later returned in between bands to view a political rally in the same spot, which must be described in words since I was staunchly told by security that no pictures were allowed to be taken. From what I saw, a band finished playing some vigorous number and a man with a microphone entered into a speech. There must have been at least 2 or 300 spectators. There were 4 flagbearers holding ridiculously huge flags, must have been 25 or 30 feet long, and I'm guessing they were of a political party. I also didn't understand much besides the word "government" in the speech. Once the man was finished, 2 cheerleaders came out and started a choreographed dance routine. There were at least a dozen private security guards in sight holding flashing batons (very deadly, I'm sure) and crouching strategically around the rally. There was also a barricade, and in between it was a "hypeman" who ran back and forth, encouraging everyone in a rabid fashion to applaud, applaud, applaud. I even saw some white tourist-looking guy clapping, and thought to myself that it was kind of sad. It's no wonder they think we're all stupid.
The band that played later, taken before the rally started.
I don't know where else to stick them, so here are a few pictures of bright and busy Shinjuku on a Sunday night:
And without further ado, pictures from the show. Enjoy.
As We Let Go again. Excellent hardcore that makes you want to move.
The True Path. I'm not gonna lie, these guys were a Bury Your Dead rip-off band, from the guitar-tones to the silly stage moves. They traveled 4 hours to get there though and were decent.
No Choice In This Matter. Pretty posi, seem to be a big draw. Fun and energetic, plus on-stage karate kicks!
Loyal to the Grave. Can't say enough good stuff about these guys, they are my favorite local band so far and really good dudes. They also bring the mosh.
Random fat drunken Brazilian dude at the show, insisted on rocking on stage.
Blacklisted. I didn't take many pictures, I was too busy dancing.
In closing, I'd like to say that I am very excited to start a new band. All the pieces are coming into place, and my friend Ian is as of today on his way out of Afghanistan onboard several long flights which will eventually bring him back to his wife and kid, here in Japan. He is also my future drummer, and boy do I ever miss having a band. My Dad just shipped out my guitar (thanks Dad) and I should be getting it in a few weeks. I was just watching a video from my band Damnation Alley playing in July and was remembering how fun that was....hard to believe that was only 3 months ago. If I can get that same feeling again over here, then I'll have everything I need.
"It has been so long since any piece of this made any kind of sense" - Lamb of God
"When the shadow of the sash appeared on the curtains it was between seven and eight oclock and then I was in time again, hearing the watch. It was Grandfather's and when Father gave it to me he said, Quentin, I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire; it's rather excrutiating-ly apt that you will use it to gain the reducto absurdum of all human experience which can fit your individual needs no better than it fitted his or his father's. I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools." William Faulkner, "The Sound and The Fury."
Normally, I do not use portable electronics while in moving vehicles. I get motion sick, always have and most likely always will. Nevertheless my new macbook, perhaps due to sheer awesome-itude, seems to overcome this fault of mine. Better, faster, stronger. Maybe it's just the bigger screen.
Oh, and if anyone wants to use that word, awesome-itude, please paypal me $5 in advance. ktnx.
As I write these words, I am on the road to Brookline, MA to finish the Damnation Alley EP up with Mike Scoville. The last few days have been wild and crazy, kids, and here is a fragmented recount for ya'll:
Thursday.
Thursday was a great day. Just the fact that I knew I'd be getting tattooed for the first time in, well, it must be at least 3 years kept me consistently elated. I was smiling all day. I arrived at Needlewurks up in Saratoga early to avoid the nasty rush hour traffic, and proceeded to stuff my face at the nearest Chinese buffet. Little known fact: There are Chinese buffets with Mexicans who work in the kitchens, I have seen it myself! Shocking.
Here is where things got ridiculous. Last week at practice (held at Needlewurks after hours) I had noticed a drawing, framed and colored nicely, of what was known simply as "Wolfopuss," a wolf/octopus, with antlers. I really loved the demented, cartoony style of it, and to make a long story short, when I suggested getting this picture done by the original artist, Humplik, not only was he excited about it but he insisted we had to start "today" if I was leaving in under 3 weeks. So, low and behold, no classy Paradise Lost quotes on my arm that day, just a ridiculous piece on my upper left thigh! Sorry to make you all wait, but I refuse to post pics until it's colored in.
The tattoo hurt like a bitch and took about two hours. I am also kind of a wuss about pain, and I find no shame in admitting that, because we're all relatively soft these days, what with the lack of hunting and tribal activities and all. I talked to Humplik about anything and everything to take my mind off of it, but all in all it really wasn't that bad and I am ready for more!
"More tattoos, more tattoos, let's go get some more tattoos!!!" - No Reedeming Social Value
I returned home roughly midnight-ish, and didn't get to bed till around 3 due to feverishly packing and triple-checking all the necessary paperwork for my visit to the Japanese consulate. Oh, did I forget to mention the trip to New York City?
Friday.
Got up at 8:45am, rushed my ass off to make the 11:33am train, got there at 11:22, ran in despite my tattoo being a tad raw, forgot the number of my parking spot so I ran back out to get it, came back, paid, went down stairs, windmilled, spinkicked and made my way into the train with about 2 minutes to spare. Always a great relief, catching that poughkeepsie train (or Po-town as I affectionately like to call it). I drove there - about half way to the city - because roundtrip tickets are only $26, which is a steal compared to $80 from Albany to the city, so it ends up costing me around $70-$75 to go to the city and back, total. None too shabby.
Upon my arrival at famous and historical Grand Central Station, I began by walking the wrong direction for about 2 blocks, before I realized my error. I made a 180 toward the consulate, roughly a 4 block walk from the station. Security was very tight for obvious reasons, and to skip all the boring details I was informed that if I wanted to get mailed my visa, I need only walk to the post office and buy an express envelope with $16.50 postage! Compared to another trip during a hecticly busy week it was quite an appealing offer. So, after showing up at the incredibly large post office, talking to some woman whose son was soon graduating from the school I just did, SUNY Albany, etc. etc.. I made my way back towards the building on park and 48th. The sun was shining, and I thought to myself as I walked through the faceless crowd, this is preparation for what I'll be living in. The purely urbane lifestyle. I listen to Kataklysm and the Killers, smile, and walk purposefully back toward the consulate, through the hustle and around the bustle.
Upon my first arrival the consulate was nearly empty. This time however, it's packed. NHK (Japan's CNN) is playing on the T.V., and I hear parents scolding their children in Japanese to "put down the magazine, seriously, we're leaving. Now!" I smile a few feet wide, thinking all the while: boy oh boy will they be surprised when they find out this 外人 gaijin (foreigner) can understand their language. My place in line is 8 behind the current guy being waited on, so I try to get into Choke by Chuck Palchawnauck, which isn't hard because he writes some very prolific and happily disturbing, destructive work. I'm into it, here's a taste:
"Then she turns on the television, some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems." - Chuck Palahniuk, Choke.
I keep glancing furtively at the clock, but eventually stop as it is the other queue moving up, and mine seems to be stuck in slow motion. Lost in the land of clever rhetoric, I completely ignore the number-calling for roughly 30 seconds, and number gets skipped. I proceed to move across the room quite annoyed, sit impatiently and stare unfurtively at the Australian guy taking far too long to straighten out his paperwork, while J-babies cry and newscasters talk about crazy 60+ year old mountain climbers in Japanese.
2 hours later, I'm sitting on a sparsely grass-laden patch of dirt in equally famous and historical Union Square Park. The plan is to wait here for Naomi, who lives in the Bronx and goes to a fancy expensive Graduate School to get some documentation which says she is a writer. My problem with this? She's already a writer, duh! Why do we really need Graduate School?!?!111
Lying amidst people who must not see much more foliage or "nature" than this on a regular basis, I soaked up some sun, played some Final Fantasy 4 on my DS, read some more Choke, and actually felt inspired to do some writing! (If you're interested, please check out my writer's cafe account for semi-frequently updated short prose and poetry). I felt bewildered by some overheard remarks of extreme apathy and insensitivity though. Case in point: A valley girl, the kind with big bug-eyed white-rimmed sunglasses, mediumish brown hair (so she's not too traditional, but still feminine) and some presumably fashionable combination of a blue top and a yellow, the leader of the little brood of fast talkers and Sex and the City wannabes. All of this I can deal with, I've gotten used to it. What bothered me was that she, the queen bee, was laughing about her incredibly naïve friend who gave $20 to a homeless guy. Sure, that guy could have been a druggie, or an alcoholic, in which case it is rather ignorant on the part of said girl... but he could also have been an honest man who was just horribly down on his luck. I decided to keep my mouth shut, as I so often do to avoid unnecessary conflicts. If only I could speak my mind 100% of the time, and we could actually debate these kinds of things.
On that subject of bums and the homeless, I saw a man with a cardboard sign that said: "Why lie? I need beer." Honestly, I felt inspired by his honesty, and almost gave him a dollar.
Eventually the evening picked up and Naomi, who is always cute and funny without even trying, leads us on a rambling journey to some sketchy neighborhood in Brooklyn, with her carnivorously nomming earrings and a nice black dress, with striped stockings that were so akin to Lydia from Beetlejuice that I almost thought that a Sandworm might manifest itself through from the ground up and start tearing shit up.
For the first time in my life - and I guess this happens 2 or 3 times a week in Troy, I'm just sort of an indoor kid - I saw a hydrant blown, water gushing like a free car wash without the softball team to assist. We resisted this public bath since we both were not nearly drunk enough yet. It was however hot as hell when we arrived at the party, and it kind of looked like it too, in a strangely aesthetic and subtle way. Over the main doorway to the kitchen, 3 round clocks said 6:00 all in a row. There was a Last Supper picture with some custom clip art of new Disciples and some delicious cake (And who is to say they had no sweets in early A.D.?), art which portrayed a deformed Winnie the Pooh sitting victorious upon a pile of raw bones, chewing the flesh of his latest victim. That one even made me shudder, having been raised on the lovable honey-addict, who I am now convinced is emblematic of a pothead. Also, on eye-level with any dude pissing in the toilet was this ominous odometer:
I got more hammered than I would like to admit, and got along with these artsy types better than I had expected - although I did say some very vulgar things in Japanese to a girl I later found out was a former Japanese major. LOL.
Naomi and I. Yes, I strictly take very ridiculous pictures.
Saturday.
5 hours and a nasty headache later, me and Naomi awaken in "Vietnam," an independent country that exists in a constant state of guerilla warfare, with inhuman, unreal living conditions...within an apartment building in Brooklyn. We ate breakfest, and made our way to Grand Central (her home was in the same direction), and at the transfer stop where we parted ways we watched a very talented Asian man playing what I believe to be a Chinese instrument. It sat like a harpsichord but had a set up something like the inside of a piano, with wires that are vibrated with fork-like sticks. He played something like Beethoven's 5th, then proceeded to freestyle!
The real talent in New York doesn't get played on your top hit lists.
Here's nice shot of Grand Central Station, what a symbol of American freedom:
The trip home was, well, nothing in particular to write home about, so I won't. I was supposed to see a free play in Altamont, Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" which is a cross-dressing adventure of drunken debauchery, rampant malarkey and situational comedy. Sadly, it was taking place outdoors and the weather was very stormy. Curse you high culture-hating percipitation!!!
The night however was far from a bust, and after calling in to work (like I was going to work 5-8 after 4+ hours of travel and minimal sleep, seriously) I made plans to see the new Will Ferrell movie Step Brothers with some good friends. It can be summed up as a compilation of coarse, vulgar, laugh-out-loud humor, and I have to say I was actually pretty impressed! Possibly one of the most epic post-credits scenes every filmed, as well. Regardless of your taste in modern comedy, something much funnier happened even before the movie. I was in a hurry to get out and make it on time, which actually turned to be a needless worry since the showing at 9:20 was sold out anyway. Regardless, I arrived wearing this brand new spiffy shirt I had recently bought for my new job, a Ralph Lauren striped black and white dealy. I'm not usually one for fashionableness in the slightest, but I think it looks pretty swank. Anyway, to make a long story short, I sat down next to my friend Zach, and began eating a recently purchsed 1/2 lb. cheesy bean and rice Taco Bell burrito™, my only weakness. As I opened the packet of fire sauce, it squirts out with pressure equivalent to a busted fire hydrant, squirting down my shirt and on my pants as well. This earned me the nickname of "Burrito-on-Shirt" Ben a few days later. Hysterical!
After the movie, me and Gabe hung out, because we have done that for well over 7 years. We are brothers from unrelated mothers. Here is a video of Gabe's testimonial of my future, and how Japan will change my life:
(That's "brots" as in bratwurst, by the way)
And yes, that is Suffocation playing in the background. No video of Gabriel should go without brutal death metal, naturally. Now that I'm getting the hang of iMovie, I might start doing a few more video blog entries; Although no new technology can possibly replace the ubiquitous, tried and true practice of good old fashioned writing.
We proceeded to watch Lost in Translation which Gabe had never seen before. Having seen it before, I understood roughly 60-70% of the Japanese dialogue, and translated it for added movie pleasure. I think a year or 2 in Japan, and I'll be taking the JLPT! (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) A fun fact about the JLPT, passing it at the highest difficulty is rewarded with documentation which basically says you are bilingual.
Ah, some day.
Anyway, I am afraid that we have to close shop early tonight. Right now I am far from that Sunday car ride to Boston; I am currently sitting in my room in my underwear, thinking about how tired I am but how I can't fall asleep due to copious coffee consumption. Damn it.
Get stoked for a big band-related entry about mine and John's amazingly fun time recording with Mike Scoville, and all the insanity that has taken place over the last few days. DAMNATION ALLEY TAKING OOOOVEEEERRRRRR 2008 BOOYAH!
"This is the way of the modern world, everyone's lying for dollar bills... Everybody knows what's best for you" - Bad Religion
when you can post from a rest stop, much like finding a parking spot in Boston at 4am without getting a ticket
"We're on a mission from God" - Blues Brothers.
But, the recording session went amazing, details TBA. 6 songs in under 20 hours is wild. And for those of you who've never had said experience, just think for every second of produced music you hear, most likely 100x that amount of time went into making it sound the way it does.
Hey everybody. Currently in Brookline, MA, working through technical difficulties at Damnation Alley EP recording session 2. Mike, John and Tyler are a riot, this is probably some of the most fun ever possible
"we need a pad, ain't talkin' maxi"
"aren't you glad you aren't paying for this?"
"G string is always the hardest to tie, you fellow guitarists know what I'm talkin' about"
"Condoms are for pussies!" "....well you're technically wrong there."
"Everything is here but me, it's like I'm Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense"
"Check 1 2! McGillicutty! Reh reh! Visa, Master, check! Want me to keep checkiiin?! THIS IS FOR ALL THE HULKIMANIACS!!!"
etcetcetcetc
Really big post coming soon, sorry to keep you waiting folks, I'm a busy man.
I don't know the purpose of this post, I will be honest. There is no direction, no control. NO CONTROL.
Spent the day doing band stuff, working, then a pleasant trip to my good friend Richard's house on Dyken Pond, where we kayaked the awe-inspiring man-made lake and basked in the setting sun. Truly a beautiful place, the trip out there reminds me of my love for Upstate NY scenery, every stinkin' time. Also did some brutal workout training, a program called P90X that is probably the coolest and most efficient way to tone yourself up, highly recommended to you fitness freaks out there.
For a little background, Rich is a long-time friend, an excellent writer and a silly motherfucker. We are planning a trip down to Virginia Beach to hang out with our good friends in Loss of Reason about a week before I depart from the country. Should be an excellent time.
As far as friends go, you know how there's acquaintances, good friends and then your true-blue, take a bullet for 'em type people? Well, Rich is that last one for me. People who are that down to earth, creatively inclined and fun to hang out with are hard to find. Check out his wacky blog at www.richardlives.com.
Went through some digital pictures I have long neglected, for myself but also to reward you, the reader, for sticking with my random post thusfar. The blog default picture on your right was taken in a tube station (subway) in London. I found the wording funny and relavent. Yes, yes I did.
This was me, next to a smart car. !!!
Me and my Mom in the bitter English cold. She's the strongest and most brutal woman I have ever known.
Me and my sister Barbara in Scandonavia.......or Disneyland. I forget.
Me and my fellow stringed instrument-players in a college studio just outside Boston, MA. Very fun times.
Not sure why but I really like this picture. Me and John Torn, manmythLEGEND.
J-O. To the left is a man soon to be leaving on the Oregon trail.
That's enough with the pictures for now. I don't know why, but I enjoy posting them here more than myspace/facebook. That gets into a whole different discussion about the flaws of social networks in general, but I'll spare you all the blah-dee-blah.
On the subject of Japan. There are all sorts of documents I should probably be concerning myself with as far as taxes, traveling insurance, packing, difficult-to-find foodstuffs, but meh, whatever. Sometimes I feel better knowing I have work waiting for me, as strange as that may sound.
I am currently reading random and obscure Edgar Allen Poe stories. I recommend "Angel of the Odd" to anyone who enjoys macabre fiction with a sardonic twist. Also plowing my way through H.P. Lovecraft's "The Dream-Quest to Unknown Kadath," and so far it is EXCELLENT. Like, cats-flying-to-the-moon-to-kill-fungus-creatures-and-slaughter-excellent. I am a reader, it's one of my passions, and I figure no matter how lost, confused, disassociated or disillusioned I may feel at times in Japan, I can always pick up a book and go to the same places that I did back home....READING RAINBOOOOW.
A final little bit, Save Yourself covering One King Down at the Shelter Skate Park in Albany. If you don't already know, OKD were huge and a real fiery ember at the hearth of the Albany Hardcore scene, and playing this set goes in my top 10 my fun shows ever, easily. (If you want to see the rest, youtube it)
Countdown to D-Day: 37 days.
To answer the question It'll probably take more If you're already there well, you probably don't know Well, we were the people That we wanted to know And we're the places that we wanted to go -Modest Mouse
While this is a "live" blog, updated regularly, I consider it to be an unfolding story as well. I will therefore be sorting out the events here in rough chunks of time labeled as "chapters," with a prologue beginning in New York. I will list here the current "chapter" of this chunk of my life story, which I have decided to share with anyone and everyone on the internet.
