Stuck in "teacher mode"

Everyone knows "you are what you eat." When I was a kid with epilepsy, I liked the stickers that said "epilepsy is what I have, not who I am." Today's post has a little something to do with both. Being on vacation - an almost unreal experience after working so much and being in such a steady routine - has given me some time to reflect on an issue of autonomy that's been bugging me for a while: People stuck in teacher mode.

When teaching a class or a small group, a person is more often than not forced into creating a kind of psuedo-personality. This is done to entertain the group and to draw attention to the points being taught. At my company they call it: "turning it on. No matter how tired or sick or down you may feel, you have to be able to just turn it on." I've gotten pretty good at this. It's like hitting a switch in my brain, where my goofy personality becomes more extroverted, and I become more interested in what students have to say than I would be were I listening to them off the clock. (Bear in mind that English conversation school are more about getting students to talk than giving them lectures)

This kind of listening-to-people-talk-about-whatever-they-want can sometimes lead to touchy topics - I've heard our job jokingly referred to as underpaid psychiatrists; Although in actuality, it's quite true. There are times I've heard of students crying in classes about recently deceased relatives, hugging teachers, a lot of reaching out and things that obviously don't belong in the language classroom in theory, but find there way there in practice. There are people who are lonely and have no one to talk to. There are mentally disturbed students whose family won't pay them heed, and who find solace in the classroom, where for 40 minutes they are 1 to 1 with another human being. I heard a story of a female student who would make breakfast and dinner for her husband, and in between those 10 hours she would just ride the yamanote train (the main circular line around Tokyo) around and around for hours on end, until her English lesson. Then ride it for hours again.

It takes all kinds. You get lots of interesting people, and lots of needy people, and a few downright weird people in this job. An example of the weird: There's a warm-up activity I do, a word game where you make a new word with the last letter of the previous word. Like cat -> tree. I had an incredibly quiet and shy student, I started with something like trick, and he put down knife. KNIFE. That isn't even a k sound!! Can you spell "sociopath?"

So how do the teachers adjust to this, and how does it effect our lives and personalities, is the question I'm concerned with today. I know one guy in particular who has been doing this job for over 15 years - the type who has a family, kids etc. Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. Maybe it fools students, but the kind of "uh huh, uh huh" response I've gotten almost any time I've said words to him has been like an overly dignified "I'm pretending to listen but have absolutely no interest in what your saying" response. Then if you do manage a sentence out of him, it's like a rushed barrage of words with the purpose of denying his involvement in the conversation in the first place. It wouldn't come across that way to a lot of students, so I wonder if he's even aware of it. But to me it's a classic case of letting your occupation become who you are, and applying your teacher-mode excessively outside of the class room. The same kind of problem as a smarty-pants know-it-all type who acts like he always knows more than you about everything and is always talking down to you. No one wants to be friends with that guy.

It doesn't end there, and it's not an isolated case. For my own part, all this work with "English conversation" has gotten me thinking a lot about how conversations work. Sometimes outside of work, I feel like a conversation is arduous, or like I'm teaching a lesson. I even glance at the clock like I do at work, trying to figure out how to budget my time, which is totally out of place and wrong. I have to remember to separate my work mode from my own personality. Otherwise I'll end up just like that guy, never receptive, always putting on airs in social situations, leading to unnecessary friction and blocking communication.


"Look out, see life goes around you, the routine becomes what you are. Look out, see all the mistakes, that you'll be makin 100 times more" - Sick of it All