Cats and Dogs, LIVING TOGETHER.

In reflection, the last few posts have all been a bit on the serious side. While I am a pretty serious guy, I also have a sense of humor, so here is an amalgamation of recent life events, ancient history, future goals, show write-ups and a look into my eccentric psyche. Without further ado:

The dreaded JLPT2 test being behind me for now (results to come mid-February, what a wait!) I have been enjoying a slightly more relaxing lifestyle than in previous months to say the least. Since I've gotten back home I've caught up on a few movies (Paranormal Activity and Up in the Air both surpassed my expectations), a lot of Bukowski as previously noted (you're right Nick, he does get repetitive but man he's good) and even some gaming time. Gaming is something I did so much between the ages of 3-12, and 19-23, that is hard to believe I've abandoned it so. Blame it on childhood and then later on smoking too much weed (respectively in THAT order) if you like, but I love games. I still do, I merely don't have time for them!

What did I do from ages 13-18? Learned guitar, bands, girlfriends, attempted to make friends and fit in. And was still an angsty teen, oh yes I was. Angsty and out there, I used to never talk to anybody in Junior High School! I just walked around school wearing my headphones constantly and listening to Nothingface, Section 8, Candiria and Skinless. Those were some times, and of course High School I made some great friends - some not so great - and even had a bit too much fun sometimes.

I skipped High School English 12 times in my senior year due to my teacher being quite monotone and my being somewhat rebellious. Pretty ironic when you think about the fact that I became an English teacher 5 years later! Yes I know what you're thinking: "that's great Alanis, get on with something more interesting!" Well how about the fact that he let me by on an extra credit reading of Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis?" My life will never be the same.

All tangents aside the main point being what I meant to say was in all honesty i don't think i could put it any clearer than that is to say........ I now don't incorporate much time for games, unless I'm really tired or feeling unable to be productive in any way. So playing Half Life 2 for the first time on my 360 is a nice break from reality. Bang bang, pow pow, none of that lame "Gears of War" duck-and-cover crud everybody rants and raves about. Just a good ol' run-around-shoot-solve-puzzles-enjoy-the-ride-style game. And Portal is quite excellent as well.

My New Years Resolutions? To pass the JLPT1 in December (ain't that a lark!), to lose this wretched gut of mine and turn it into pure muscle once and for all (making progress!) and finally to play guitar more. I've been slacking a bit these days, only playing at practices or at shows and that's not going to cut any sort of mustard whatsover- brown, yellow, spicy dijon, etc. If I want to write the best tunes possible with F.I.D., I have got to push myself harder and work more as a guitarist. This is a bit hard with work, Japanese and making sure I squeeze in fun time and travel, but I will manage it. I'm going to the country on Sunday this weekend, Okutama to be exact, google it if you want to know what it looks like. Mountains and rivers and all that fun stuff this concrete block-city doesn't offer me.

Shows!! Played two last weekend. I wasn't on my best game but oh man, they were fun! Highlights include CxPxSx singer diving headfirst into a garbage can! They are easily my current favorite band to see in Tokyo, next to Kurupino - she didn't even have the electronics setup when I saw her play! Only one tom, a cymbal, a frog-puppet, plastic implements *ahem*, a drumstick, a mic and an S&M whip. Quality! Anyhow that was about the highlight of Tuesday night, besides some 80s-new wave, a thrash metal band and Visual K (Japanese slang basically meaning new-school hair metal) band named Sex-Virgin Killers, who were all good at what they did. It was pretty sweet.

Flash/rewind to Sunday. Biggest show I'd played in a long time, maybe 200+ heads, big stage, big backstage, lots of drunkenness, crusties (dirty punkers), mohawks, leather-studded jackets, old-time punkers noisecore bands and then F.I.D. somewhere in the middle of it all. The bassist of the Wanky's, a punker band of drunken debauchery from the U.K. graciously invited us on the bill, and although we stuck out - being "grind" and not noise or old-school punk like the rest of the bill - it wasn't a bad thing. DSB (Drunken Shit Bastards) and Struggle For Pride were band that stuck out as really good.

Anyway, I was quite nervous about playing at first. The girls insisted I give some kind of introduction speech, and I obliged - certainly no one ever wanted me near the mic during any of my previous band stints. By the way I've been laying down a few vocals live here or there, at the risk of further tarnishing a once all-female grindcore band no less.

(In case you're a new reader or just need a reminder, Flagitious Idiosyncracy in the Dilapitation is what I'm talking about.)

Sunday:

「このバンドはぜんぶ女の人でも俺は女の人らしいじゃないけど。。。ファクユウアアアル！」
"This band is all women but it appears that I am not a woman... *obscenity* YOU ALL!!!"

My intro speech from Tuesday is also worth mentioning. In an overly cutesy-voice (except for the last bit I said:

「あのね。。。はじめまして、べんです、よろしくな！GO TO HELL!!!」
Umm, I'm Ben, nice to meet you all. GO TO HELL!!!!

The need to break the tension a bit was obvious, I seemed to have their respect but I looked scary enough normally, let alone shredding and losing it with a large blunt instrument in my hands. As we initially set up I definitely heard choruses of マジっすか？ (seriously??) at both shows, most likely referring to the giant white guy with the three Japanese bandmates. There were however a lot of people who seemed to dig us at this bigger show, and a line of 6 or 7 faithful metalheads in the front, holding their beercans like majestic chalices, headbanging and continually offering me and Makiko drinks. I swiped one, chugged it and tossed it back out in an attempt to be all crazy and whatnot. I sweat and shredded my hardest - could have been tighter but the energy was there. People complimented us on it and we moved a few units, and when all was said and done I (we) had an awesome time.

Perhaps the strangest bit of all this was that the original guitarist showed up to the Sunday gig. (!!!) This is the woman who wrote most of the stuff I'm now playing, and as it so happened it was the first time I'd ever met her. It was kind of like being on a date and meeting your girl's ex-boyfriend, like: "oh hey you used to be all up in this but now she's mine. Sorry?" Without going overtly into detail perhaps it was awkward at best. We'll be changing over our set to quite a few newer tunes in the future anyhow, although she did write some good tunes!

I'll leave you with that. Work in the morning. You stay classy San Diego!

"He's a Buddhist, Christian, paramedic, vegan, straight edge pimp but most of all... Big. He's big" - Horse the Band

"There's not much chance for survival if the neon bible is right" - Arcade Fire

"I've got it all.......most." - Modest Mouse

P.S. Started yet another blog on account of I've been inspired to start writing again. I mean writing stuff besides this journal: "Benjamin L. Belcher's Poetry and Prose." Riveting name, I know. Check it if you like.

points points points

This humidity is sucking the life out of me. I arrived at the tail-end of it last year, but man, I was in no way prepared for this nonsense! Rainy season is over and the blistering heat is coming out in full force. 90 degree weather during the day. Right now it's almost 1am, and the humidity is 94%. Utterly disgusting!

But one has to pay to play. And play I have - I've been restricting myself to Japanese video games lately, as an attempt to study study study because the JLPT (Japanese Proficiency Test) that is looming closer in December is not by any stretch of the imagination an easy one. But, if I keep at it every day until then, I feel like I'll have a good chance of passing it, or at least doing well enough that by July it would be a breeze. (The test is given only twice a year) The criteria is as follows:

"The examinee has mastered grammar to a relatively high level, knows around 1,000 kanji and 6,000 words, and has the ability to converse, read, and write about matters of a general nature. This level is normally reached after studying Japanese for around 600 hours and after completion of an intermediate course."

I already know more kanji than that!! And I've been studying for 3 years. I don't keep track, but I sure feel like I've put more than 600 hours into Japanese-related activities. And my grammar is all coming along well, but vocabulary is my biggest weakness. It's like every sentence is a puzzle, where I know the outline, and the shape, and even the tone and the inference, but not the subject, or perhaps not the object. Consequently I spend a lot of my time studying new vocabulary, in hopes of succeeding. I can feel the hard work paying off, although days like today: 2 hour gym sessions, 4 hour study sessions and 6 hour work shifts leave me totally wrecked. But wrecked in a good way that makes me feel accomplished. And I sleep pretty well.

I didn't even mention: Dragon Quest 9, the latest in Japan's most popular gaming franchise ever - yes, even moreso than Mario - came out last weekend. It's awesome and I'm playing it with a dictionary in hand at most times, and only getting about 50%-60% of the dialogue, but it's still really good fun.

Lots of good shows around the corner - Madball, Acacia Strain & xBishopx, and Terror, all in the next few months. And some shows coming up from F.I.D. in the near future for sure. Speaking of which, here's a picture of me and the band:

That's Kanako (bass) me (duh) Tomoko (drums) and Makiko (vocals), respectively.

And that is just about that. I'm trying to beat the heat, and survive the brutal Tokyo summer, but having a good time doing it. Also looking forward to my 2 week paid vacation, less than a month away!

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - Bilbo Baggins, Lord of the Rings

"I had a dream of a wall that was 21 stories tall" - Bad Religion

"You're all the same, hollowed out for the piper to play." - xBishopx

Archery, ping pong and fencing in a one room apartment.

I picked up Wii Sports Resort this weekend, and I am really satisfied with it! The new "wii motion plus" controls definitely make up for where it was lacking before - now movement is less constricted and more natural. And I can finally have a sword fight in my dinky room!

Yesterday I had these students who come every week - they are two middle-aged women who laugh at almost everything that is said for no real reason. They're both very pleasant and we talked about Wii Sports Resort and the last One Piece movie (that's a super-popular anime/comics franchise in Japan). One of them was saying how the "voice actor" for Chopper and Pikachu is the same. Total nerd stuff, but only in Japan would you hear housewives saying something like that! My own otaku-like interests often give me good talking points with students. I had an 8 year old bring up Bobobo yesterday, and I asked her if she liked manga. "Yes, but my parents won't let me read it" is roughly the equivalent of what she said. I've also met other parents who say they don't let their children read comics at all. I find it surprising, and although some kids out here are so obviously spoiled rotten, others really have to earn their chips, to make the grade. Otherwise they won't get their new life-size gundam or samsung 50-inch t.v. or designer 5000 yen t-shirts.

I read an article that Tokyo is "the most expensive city for expatriates." Yea, but it's also one of the coolest places to live! Even if the trains smell like... unmentionables. And since the economy is generally strong, the yen is also worth something compared to the dollar, unlike the Korean Won or Chinese.... what do they use?

Hmmm. Well that encompasses everything I wanted to say. I have Japanese class today, then work in bustling Shinjuku. So here's hoping that today is a good day like yesterday. As I'm sure I mentioned before, this month is all 6-day weeks, so between work and studying I'm on the run a bit. Feels good to be busy. Good night America.


"I wish I could be the name on your lips, for only one moment of bliss. I wish you could see the paper thin-scars" - Blood Has Been Shed

Dirty doctors, fond farewells

About 2 weeks ago I ordered a back-support pillow since I have terrible posture. It doesn't help that I'm still recovering from pulling a muscle in my back a month or so ago. I ordered it through the local clinic, and the nice doctor who usually does the work was cool enough to suggest it. I've been busy however, and wasn't able to stop in and pick it up. So yesterday, on my way home, what do I see but a man in white scrubs (and those silly plastic clogs, I think) chasing me down the street. I told him I was busy and would pick it up later. That was yesterday, and tonight on my way home from work, I noticed that his shop door was open. So I checked in to see if it was OK (even though business hours were long over), and all I could see was an arm from someone laying horizontally on the floor, swinging in what must of been a bizarre "hello." The dude laying on the floor (the doctor's assistant) proceeded to say my black tie was cool, and the odd couple seemed really stoked to have a foreigner walk into their office at night.... and they'd obviously been drinking, although they were doing paperwork at the same time. Oh Japan!

It's such a right phenomenon, I don't think I will ever get used to it. My very existence, being a foreigner in Japan, makes some people ecstatic (without any effort on my part) or fearful (double-checking their locked doors at night). I either appear 10x cooler than I really am, or a big scary monster. I get the former vibe more often, honestly. I mean I can't read people's minds, and even though the difference between a cold, mean stare and a kind, curious stare should be simple enough to differentiate, the infamous Japanese "passive stare" as my friend Nicholas called it, is quite ambiguous. For instance, the other day I was doing sit ups at the gym and the tatttoo on my leg (located above my knee) was showing a bit. An older guy next to me just sat there and stared at me for a good solid minute or two. At the same gym, I was doing a back-bridge on the mat and this younger fellow walking by just gawks at me like a deer in headlights. Sometimes when I sit next to people on the train, they are just enamored/revolted by my being there. It's really hard to tell what they're thinkinh, so I just kind of respond in the same passive manner they utilize so much. Fire with fire, and all that. Best not to think too much about any of it and just let it ride anyway.

So I saw a good friend of mine off yesterday, and it was a bittersweet departure. Bitter since I no longer have a cool neighbor who'll play Black Flag and Rage Against the Machine at 8:30am, sweet since, uh... I got a desk in my room now? But of course I'd rather keep my neighbor than some hunk of wood. I'll miss ya Nicholas, get back here soon!

Oh, and the best part: my room is such a mess from me being tremendously busy all month (I've been working 6 day weeks and usually spending almost my entire day off taking lessons/studying), that I have a desk plopped in the middle of my room. I gotta "play tetris" with the place so to speak to get it to fit snugly somewhere. But not until next weekend!

Also, it's officially "Rainy Season" here in Japan, so the incredible humidity can make things go moldy, as my friend and classmate the British Mum of 20 yrs. expatriate-status recently informed me, so washing up, airing out and putting away my possessions will be crucial to not incurring the wrath of said mold. As Shane, my other classmate put it: "last year I got mold on things I didn't know could get moldy, like my leather bag." We'll see how it turns out!

And in other (non-dramatic) news, I'm really into "Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney" for the DS at the moment, and am reading Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." I don't really have a good reason for either, so I'll just leave it at that. I'm exhausted, good night!

"I don't want you to be alone down there to be alone down there to be alone" - Modest Mouse

"Remain steadfast. Awwwwww Perseverance! Crushing all opposition, discipline and determination" - Hatebreed.


P.S. In my post-work drowsiness I almost forgot the best part: TOMOKO (F.I.D.'s original drummer, who had a baby about 4 months back) is coming back to the band! We can start practicing! I can start jamming with a Japanese drummer who loves Suffocation! We'll play some shows this year! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!

"You make good mosh"

This last week was somewhat busy and very fun. Granted I've also been lazy about updating, but for the 10-20 hardcore followers I have on this thing needs fear not, I'm gonna keep this going even if posting gets sparse on occasion.

I found out that when I take my trip with Kevin next month, I get to meet up with Mami (the T.A. of my last semester of Japanese in college) in Hiroshima and Akira (also a good friend from college whom I gave the ridiculously big pizza leftovers from my job on the regular) in Kyoto/Nara. I am mega-excited for this trip, although it consists of collectively 24 hours of overnight bus trips, it should be well worth it. I'm also not planning on bringing Most Precious Lappy with me since I baby the thing, so I'll just make a giant post when I come back. December 25-January 4, couting down the days!

On Tuesdays I have an 80-minute class of roughly 3 regular members, with usually at least 1 substitute students and occasionally a model-lesson student. The latter is, as you may have guessed someone trying out the class to see if they like it, so there is a little extra pressure on yours truly to give a bangin' lesson. It's called "Advanced Media" and its the highest level class there is at my school, and frankly I love teaching it because I get to do things my way and I find it more challenging and rewarding. We talk about news stuff and I often explain very some big words and engage in some really good discussions. Last class was good but a bit stressful at the start because my book had "disappeared" (actually had been accidentally picked up by another teacher) so I was five minutes late even though I had a substitute student I never met before and a model-lesson student. I started off right away with explaining that I'd have to look on with the new student's book and said: "are you impressed yet?"

Students really seem to enjoy my sense of humor for the most part, which makes me happy, since I can be myself and I thrive best in that element. We talked about animal rights and other various moral dilemmas, such as life longevity and if machines could ever take over the world Terminator 2-style. Suffice it to say not only was the class good, but the new student enjoyed it and signed up for my class, which made me feel pretty elated at the end of the day.

Thursday was Turkey Day, and I celebrated by eating curry! Unfortunately Turkey is quite hard to find in Japan, although I heard of a palce caleld Fujimamas that offers American-style meals for relatively cheap, I didn't make it there. Oh well. It really is just another day of the year, and like I told a few other people my Mother cooked me a fantastic Thanksgiving-style meal right before I left home, so that was my T-day.

That night however had three firsts: I went out on a work-night, which I surprisingly hadn't done yet. I chalk this up to getting out at 9:30-10:00 and having to catch the last train by 12:45, but also because I'm lazy. I also went to Roppongi, famous meatmarket of Japan which was, as Ian so correctly and succinctly put it, a shithole. Nothing but tons of silly gaijin and dudes hassling you to come to this and that bar (Some guy even grabbed my arm which pisses me off A LOT). Some people like it but I could probably due with going there again some time never.

Now I know that all sounded very bitter and negative, but here's the upshot and 3rd first time event: the bar me and my friend Cristo went to was having a Grand Opening special of free drinks all night. Naturally it was packed beyond belief but somehow we managed to get in and worm our way to the bar. Getting noticed by the bartender was tricky and time consuming but I managed to get 6 frees which was nice. Bars aren't really my scene but I met some cool Filipinos and some dude from Miami there on vacation. There was a "fire show" (apparently the signature act of this particular chain: Wall Street Pub) and some girls dancing on the bar. The music was lame though. All I ever want to hear when I'm drinking beer is something in the vein of D.R.I. or Metallica. I had a pretty good time, regardless.

Friday I met up with Ian in Tachikawa before work - actually I had told him "I'll meet you at the station" so I spent 36 minutes pointlessly on a train to his home station and back - and got the package I've been waiting for from me mum: over 400 dvds and cds of mine, clothes, and lots of books. The only downside was that I had to lug a 42 pound box across 3 different trains during a pretty busy time. I did live to tell the tale, however.

Saturday night I saw Loyal to the Grave, Midgardsorm (who are fucking GREAT and are kind of like a Japanese-version of Irate) and some other bands in Shibuya. I really should have taken some pics but I was being lazy that night.

Some more cool white dudes

Sunday I saw my buddy Ian's band, Second Hearts, and they sounded umpteen-times better with him playing drums. It was a show full of heavy hardcore bands and people being drunken maniacs. Some guy jumped on my back while I was dancing, sending me into another guy who fell over and spilled his beer all over the stage. Everyone had a pretty fun time, and I think it was my friend Chris' first real "hardcore show." He liked it. The singer of every band stage-dove; And the best part of it all is when you stage-dive here, people actually try to hold you up. The Wall is definitely a sweet venue and I'll be sure to go there again some time soon. I took the mic for some band I didn't even know and was like "MOVE THIS PLACE, NEW YORK STYLE!!" Because I love doing mosh calls.

Today is just a Monday like any other (my Sunday if you've forgotten) and I took it easy. My ankle is still a bit sore from something I did to it last night. I've been enjoying my 360 which just came back from Microsoft, and between that and my personal library this place is feeling more and more like ye olde dungeon back home.

My over-the-top setup.

In other news I ate some really good Takoyaki and Okonomiyaki for breakfast. Yessiree. Oh, and one more thing that happened today: While I was sitting in my chair I felt a sudden slight but distinct shaking underneath me, and it must have been a really small tremor. I've never experienced an earthquake before and it was just weird. I certainly hope a full blown one never hits Tokyo, although the seismologists say we're long overdue!

My first Christmas away from the family is just around the corner, but I'm feeling pretty good about everything. I'm not too big on the holidays anyway but the Japanese sure are! Here is a glimpse of what it is looking like on my side of the world:

Downtown in Shibuya late on a Saturday night. Xmas stuff everywhere

The convenience store near my apartment.

My street. There's even a blinking Elmo-sign!

"However, I'm really fascinating to the letter, my English grammar gets better and better" - KRSONE

"She's half-way listenin', to what she thinks she knows. We're like children drifting in our parents clothes" - Mewithoutyou

MORDOR (warning: sheer, unadulterated video game nerd content inside)

There once was a gaming console called the XBOX 360. This system was the Playstation 2 of its generation, coming out with all the latest and coolest games, the best graphics and cutting edge on-line play. The ease of this global network of gamers made being a computer expert with all the latest overpriced digital rendering software that would be obselete in 3 months a necessity for internet gaming no more. Gone were the days of "oh my computer can't run this" or "I left AIM on so my game crashed" or "my system randomly lags because I haven't reformatted my hard-drive in the last 2 weeks." It was a simple time when people who just enjoyed casually playing games could share their joy together, without excessive hassle. There were also numerous live updates, downloadable content for renewed vigor in games you loved, even $5-10 arcade games that were cheap and fun. Sounded like a perfect system, right?

Not quite perfect.

When the light was green it was all gravy. But as time passed, load times got longer and the fan got louder, something had to give. I owned a launch-model 360, the original which has an estimated 60% chance of dying at some point in time - dem's not good odds. Of course it had to happen 2 months after I moved to Japan, making things far more inconvenient. Why, you may ask?

Well, for those who don't know, due to the huge amount of complaints (and possibly even some lawsuits) that Micrsoft received, they announced they were 2007 extending the warranties of all consoles to 3 years. I personally know several people who've been through 2 or 3, and it's not at all uncommon. MS has literally lost millions of dollars fixing their own consoles due to poor beta testing and some serious design and material faults not considered before the initial release.
If you are at all curious about the extent of 360 blunders (they have even been sued over their discs scratching too easily), I recommend this succinct Wikipedia article.

Despite all this, the 360 still remains the "next generation" system to have, in my opinion. (I'm totally leaving the Wii out of this one, because while it an awesome console in its own right and of course much more stable, it is lacking in HD and graphical abilities) Why not the PS3? Two simple reasons: game selection and friends. As for games, some of the few video game franchises I follow have exclusive 360-only titles, such as Tales of Vesperia or Beautiful Katamari. While it's true that there are many dual releases between the PS3 and 360, I'm actually not interested in the majority of the First Person Shooters that come out (save the Orange Box), but prefer RPGs and other more unique games.

And of course there's the simple fact that, in America at least, the 360 pwns the PS3 in popularity by a hefty margin. Things may be slowly moving in Sony's favor, but by the by if you want to play on-line with some of your buddies back home you to have MS's hardware. There seem to be more diehard PS3 fans in Japan, and perhaps since Blue-Ray won the format wars PS3's ability to play BR movies will eventually lead to a popularity shift, but for now this is the way things are.

Anyway that's enough about console or format wars - I've probably already lost more than half my regular readers on this post - but bear with me here. This 360 that broke is also one that I cracked open laborously and modified, the upside being that I can play games on backup discs, the downside being that I am at risk of being banned from Xbox Live if I play on-line, and my console is no longer covered under warranty. A fair trade-off in my opinion. Sadly after many fun hours with this toy it broke, and although I'm currently looking at some super top-secret underground solutions to get it fixed, that is pretty up in the air.

So I bought another console! A legitimate one that I bought the game Blue Dragon for because Akira Toriyama is a God among men when it comes to character design, and I enjoy old-school RPGs (and they're long). Long story short I had it shipped to a friend on a military base to save on shipping costs, and on the day I gleefully brought it home I plugged it in and saw, to my horror:

MORDOR!?!?

That's right folks, apparently it was damaged in shipping, because this sucker was broken on reception. The real kicker here is that I signed up for insurance, but to file a claim I'd need access to a USPS location, which I don't have since I don't live on a military base. The whole thing was turning into a ridiculous headache - all I wanted was to play a stupid game! And if it was possible to get the console fixed here I didn't want to bear teh slings and arrows of having to send it back. So, I did what any logical gamer would do: called Microsoft.

After trying to communicate over the phone with little success, I was told in Japanese to e-mail customer support if I wanted support in English. So I did, and thankfully the 3 year warranty extension on all consoles was announced in Japan too, so I'm sending out my console to get fixed today! This means soon I can play on-line with my friends, enjoy these new games and hopefully leave behind the evil eye of Mordor forever. I'm seirously considering getting a PS3 in a year or 2, when they've dropped in price a bit and have more good games on the roster.

This concludes my uber-nerd post. Until we meet again!

For maximum enjoyment, please maintain no affiliations with reality

I just got back on XBOX Live again, so here's to my system not breaking any time soon. If anyone wants to play me at some Worms, my gamertag is BennyB518.

I have been on a serious gaming kick, between my DS on the trains and my consoles at home. Not having homework and getting to do whatever I want with my free time is an almost deadly combination.

I'm getting my guitar and external dvd-burner from Ian tomorrow. THANKS IAN.

I'm also going hiking on Mount Takao with my British mate Dan, so expect some picture from that.

This is a video made by a fellow English teacher, Renee. It's pretty much very awesome:





"Put on flesh and wring it through, the things you love they will destroy you" - Most Precious Blood"