The Philosophical quest

Disclaimer: Philosophical ramblings. I'm full aware of how ironic a post this is after my Xbox rant.

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I believe that every man or woman on this earth who has the ability to think beyond the most intrinsic needs of food, water and shelter has to grapple with their own philosophical quest. Even people who hate the idea of philosophy do. So do hardcore religious fanatics, staunch atheists, school principals and bus drivers. No matter what you've been taught, you question it inevitably. No matter what you believe, you have trouble believing it at times. Freedom is a wonderful yet simultaneously stifling thing when we have so many directions to go in the world that we stand still, horrified.

I think that a fear of thinking about why we're here, what we're doing and where we're going is why some people love their jobs. It's also why some people love their hobbies, their dogs, their kids, their books, their wardrobe, their games, their computers, their room, their social life, their late night television dramas, their loud music, their crowded bars and their camping trips. The modern world is such a confounded place, full of voices telling us where to go for ulterior motives, full of new diets to try and new items to buy. When does owning the product equate to the joy you got in anticipating it? When is enough actually enough?

I think about things like this a lot; I'm sure many of us do. I see myself trapped in an endless cycle of consumerism, but feel reliant upon it and helpless to stop it. I love philosophical ideas but can't stand reading dry, technically worded documents about things that no living person can ever know - I'd rather read a good work of fiction. I'm a self-acknowledged hypocrite but I can't help thinking about how the world goes round and round with or without me. I think about how if there's such an overpopulation problem already, wouldn't it be better if I never procreate anyway? I think about the future and the past that lead me here, how no one will know of me or remember me in 100 years time. If you had to choose immortality or an early death, which would it be? If you had to give up all your earthly possessions and move Sudan or get skin cancer, which would it be? If you could kill 1 to save 100, would you do it?

So many questions and conundrums in life. I feel a stirring inside of me a never-ending struggle: The hedonistic and primitive instincts of fucking and feeding versus the weight of the wonders and woes of the modern world. Aesthetics and synthetics. There aren't enough words to encapsulate life, to wrap it up neatly, put it on a page and succinctly explain it. That's why I keep writing.

"From pissed off to pissed on
mostly dead to died
quote found on the full moon
but it left with the tide" - End of a Year