I wanna ride through the adirondacks in my Jeep Cherokee, listening to Clutch with no particular destination in mind

I had so many weird dreams last night. Some of them had to do with going flying home - I've been getting my first real poignant bouts of homesickness lately, of course due to the holidays and the fact that my family is all going to Disneyland, a tradition which I have never missed out on until now.

I remember my dreams the most when I'm drifting in and out of sleep, and due to my vacation patterns of waking up at 7:30am I've been doing that a lot the past few days. Getting back into the routine of work hasn't been the easiest thing, but I'm almost there. I'm a boring guy, I like my routine, it's comfortable and mundane but just exciting enough.

Anyways about those dreams. Some of them were downright bizarre, some unmentionable here.... I remember my bed falling apart underneath me. I never actually took a flight, I was just here one day, and then WOOSH, back in New York 14 hours earlier, so I showed up in my old room at 2am or something. And I didn't have enough time to see anyone before I was zipped back home. There might be some kind of meaning in that, I suppose.

I think there's some underlying anxiety about my job in all that too. I have reason to believe that come contract renewal time in the Spring, some people won't get asked back. I think that due to the recession, despite the company I work for being a big one, they must be experiencing negative numbers like everyone else and will have to cut costs somewhere. For this reason I'm making extra sure to do everything I can right, and considering I've only been late once (by 2 minutes to a school I'd never been to before) I'd say I'm in pretty good shape thus far. This might sound incredibly trivial, but in Japan being late, even slightly is a really big deal. Punctuality seems to take precedence over even appearance or job performance - just being there is crucial, even if you forgot to shave and your tie is backwards.

Anyhow I'm pretty confident my job is secure, I always give 110% and genuinely like what I'm doing, but I think the real fear here is just what the hell will I do after this? I have no real job opportunities with my English degree in the states, unless I go back to school. And not only is the job market in peril, but prices on the cheaper, state-funded schools have just been jacked up too, along with many other New York state taxes. The point is I'm living comfortably here and making decent money, and until I see a good exit strategy I'm going to have to keep it that way.

But enough with all that serious crap! It's just been eating me a bit lately. In other related news the Ben-fan club met again on Wednesday - these 3 middle-aged women who love my class and laugh at almost everything and don't seem to learn much, but are really fun. For example they spent roughly half the class laughing about the English pronunciation of McDonalds: (Mick-Don-Alds) vs. (Makudonarudo). They proceeded afterward to request my class again the next week, and hearing this of course made me feel pretty happy.

Boy am I glad I just checked the weather today - I hate getting stuck in the rain with no umbrella! And if meteorologists are correct (which they seldom seem to be) it might just snow in Tokyo some time soon. A light dusting would result in numerous unnecessary train delays, airports being shut down, and most likely my school being closed. Even regardless of theses things, it would be nice to see a coat of white on this metropolis, if only for a few hours.

I see things happening in my life, possibilities and opportuniies and so often I just shun them outright. I am a total hypocrite in that I like trying new things, but am stubborn and like things the way I know and understand them. Simple. I believe in opten-mindedness, but am generally set in my views and opinionated, though democratic. And I like being single, life is much easier this way, if more boring.

I really do want to drive my jeep through the Adirondack mountains and listen to Clutch, with no particular place to go. Driving is a liberating feeling I knowingly took for granted back home, it was empowering and a total high when it wasn't mundane and boring. Driving around and listening to music is great, I almost (but not really) miss delivering pizzas to strangers and blaring metal around East Greenbush and Rensselaer. And while the paycheck here is oh-so-much nicer, there is no complimentary pizza to go with the job...

More vacation stuff coming soon, I'm being rather lazy about it. In the spirit of things, here's an animated portrayal I found of "deer-bullying" in Nara:




"The girls said I know what it means too" - Polar Bear Club

"They're pushing you and testing you, but you won't cave in. You can't cave in." - Terror

"I'm prepared to fight humanity every day for the rest of my life." - Shai Hulud


P.S. Trash Talk is playing in about a week and a half, and Shai Hulud is playing next month. STOKED