Today was my last day at the school in Shinjuku. I've worked there one a week since September, and while it's been fun, it's so busy and the trains are always so crowded coming and going that I just wanted to get out. The break room is also scantly big enough for 3 people, yet we usually have 5 teachers minimum coming and going. Thankfully, I got my request for a closer school on that day instead. The sad part is that the staff and my co-workers are all really cool people, so I bought them a few bags of candy for a final farewell.
I'm not the only one who wanted out though - one older teacher described his relief of being able to switch schools after five years by showing me this picture:
I also brought my guitar in at one of my friends' request, to go to a blues bar I had heard much about. We had Sayaka on trumpet, Katie with her alto saxaphone, Matt with the harmonica and me with my guitar. I instantly felt so out of place there: picture a bar full of drunk businessmen, small and cramped, with guitars and other instruments clumsily stacked against the walls. There's a drumset, several amps, various doohickies and a piano. As I walk in there's some big Japanese guy, butchering some song lyrics in English, rocking out on one of those big, bridge-raised blues style guitars. You know the kind with the wavy pattern of indentation on the front of the wooden body, like B.B. King or something. And while I knew that me with my hardcore stickered ESP amongst a bunch of dudes with fender customs and big-bodied blues guitars would stand out a bit, I still felt like even if I botched it, things would be O.K.... or at least that's what I told myself. I was really nervous but by the time I got to play a lot of people had left, so it was less pressure.
After about 2 hours of waiting (we had our names on a list, and everyone is a guitarist these days after all) we all got to go up with a few other random musicians. Even though my playing was far from perfect; the owner behind the bar reminded me to tune in between songs, which was quite funny: "Ben-san, chuning wa...." There was a kind of chemistry going on there unlike what I've felt before in metal or hardcore bands. Everything in a band is 99% pre-planned unless it's at practice, but this style of blues jam means pick a progression and let it fly. Matt wailed on the harmonica, Sayaka's trumpet boomed like her own boisterous persona, Katie's sax sang out her heart and I did my own things too. I even did something else unprecedented, and actually attempted vocals. Of course anyone can do a blues verse or two, and as Lisa Simpson would say "the Blues come from in here" (pointing at the heart).
Despite a mad dash to catch the last train it was a memorable time. I hope to brush up on my scales, acquire a more refined taste for this or maybe another style of music and continue playing. I still wanna play fast and thrashy stuff, but it feels good to try something new. To test the comfort zone and push myself out into a different realm. Perhaps some of this will come off as overly poetic, but if you've never shared the feeling of playing music with friends, it just does something to your brain. At that time you're on an magic plane, interacting through this kind of fleeting, untouchable medium that can never be grasped, just experienced.
I really need to play more.
"...When it occurred to me that the animals are swimming, Around in the water in the oceans in our bodies and another had been found another ocean on the planet, Given that our blood is just like the Atlantic. And that's how the world began, And that's how the world will end" - Modest Mouse
The other night I wound up, by some various hair-brained circumstances, hanging out with two Japanese friends of mine from Kobe and wandering aimlessly around Kabukicho, Shinjuku's famous red-light district. The two girls' reactions were quite hilarious: "It's so embarrassing walking through here!" They say as we pass love hotels, host clubs, strip joints, and what are probably soap houses (legitimate brothels). This area of town used to be run in a more heavy-handed manner by the Yakuza, and quite dangerous; Now it serves as more of an area teeming with varying forms of night-life. This was the night before Spring Equinox (national holiday) and there were foreigners abound. Other than the usual black dudes and other foreigners (not to sound prejudice or something, but it's like 80% black dudes), out to hustle you to going into an overpriced adult club of some kind, there were foreigners, salarymen and everyone from everywhere you could think of, all out to have a good time in this ubiquitously well-known, over-crowded area. Tokyo is an exciting place to live like this, and I guess I take it for granted at times.
I escorted the two ladies to the cheap bar I knew there, but it was full up since we showed up late, having celebrated early holiday with overpriced (but non-Japanese) beer for a belated St. Patty's Day. Again, the girls said they felt weird but we turned a corner and poof, like magic, we went from perv-ville to a huge display of hundreds of colored balloons, various cheap dresses on sale and stuffed animals. One block away was the hotel district, and two more was a 20+ story hospital. The sheer abundance in such small spaces is dizzying. Japan is condensation. The town I live in is more dense and probably bigger than Albany, the capital city of New York that I am "from" (really five minute across the river). But this 100,000 person or more area is considered somewhat rural.
When there are neon signs, 24-hour eateries and 3 convenience stores in 1/8 of a mile, I don't quite call that rural.
*note to self: place clever transition here*
--
Feeba (Fever)
After the veritable breeze that last fall was, as far as no noticeable allergy afflictions, I thought I had left my horrendous pollen allergies behind with my old life in New York. You see back there, every Fall and Spring were murder on my sinuses, so I had tried everything to counter-act it, from pills to nasal sprays to allergy injections. (!!) I even brought some of the nasal spray with me to Japan, but stopped taking it and noticed no difference - good for me, since acquiring and refilling prescriptions are supposed to be a royal pain here.
As you may have already guessed, I jinxed myself hard on this one. Spring is in the air, with temperatures reaching up to 70 this week, and Japan's over-saturation of cedar-based pollens has rocked me pretty hard today. Headaches and a sore throat when I woke up this morning, nothing unmanageable, but today I earned my chips, substituting 3 kids classes in a row, 2 of which were levels I've never really taught before. 2 of them went smoothly, despite being craft-based: making playdough was a right mess but fun, and coloring Easter eggs with a bunch of 5 year olds is really no big deal. I did have a class of 10-12 year olds though who were really, really hard to get through to, like they wouldn't pay attention to a word I said and I was continually being talked over by more than one person, and I have to work on some methods to counteract this. I think they call it discipline? I call it my least favorite part about my job, since I just want to be the cool, down-to-earth kind of teacher I always enjoyed back when I was a kid, but sometimes it's necessary. More on that as things develop.
I got my new job contract! (In case you don't know, everything starts in April here, school, new fiscal years, etc.) It's only tentative at this point, but it's looking good. I have five kids classes which I think is a good number, and some closer schools thanks to management acknowledging my requests. I'm leaving some students and classes and schools behind which is a strange feeling, as it's the first time I've really done something like this. It feels like a weird situation, between me and my students... We only have a student-teacher relationship, but I really want to know what will happen to the young guy who specializes in agriculture moving to the country who I've taught since I moved here, or how the 5-year-old who I just started giving private lessons to will get on in the future. I'm so stubborn about leaving things behind, and change and all that, which you wouldn't think considering where I live, but I am.
Took a trip with some friends to Kamakura on Monday. It was a great time, getting out of the city and seeing the ocean. Pics coming whenever I get off my lazy butt to upload em. (...or I guess that would be on my lazy butt, with a camera and USB cable in arms reach).
I was experiencing some chronic wrist pain when lifting so I bit the bullet and saw a doctor the other day. I was gonna go to a hospital but my friends in Japanese class convinced me that a Clinic was better. This bears some explaining: In Japan, almost any city/town will have several Kurinikku, where you can see a licensed General Practitioner who will take care of your needs on a more personal level than a hospital. The best part is that with my health insurance, I've been getting some crazy, acupuncture-point-style massages on my aching arm for real cheap, significantly better than the co-pay back home. I've even taken to chatting my doc in Japanese, since he mostly just knows medical terms and can speak only broken English. The best part was when I mentioned moving to Japan, the first thing he says something about toilets, using an onomatopoeia to the effect of zaaaa, with an exaggerated hand motion, exhibiting some kind of function that the high-tech toilets here have, which I have yet to uncover - lazer beams perhaps? As far as Japanese toilets, they come in two styles here: medieval holes in the floor (see: the one right outside my room) and high tech models with buttons for everything from varied degrees of flushing to personal, shall I say, genitalia-washing sprays. Haven't tried that one yet myself. Or rather, I haven't been forced into a situation where I have to.........yet.
Speaking of sound-based words like my doc's "zaaaa," they love, utterly love using onomatopoeia in speech here, I'll do a full article on it some time. It's mind-blowing.
In band news, there's no real news. Sadly our new prospective drummer Ian had to back down due to an already over-slammed schedule. So we're drummerless once again, and I'm kind of bummed, but waiting patiently. We've got some ads up but no catches yet - if anyone knows a good, grind-style drummer in the Tokyo area, contact me, ok?
I know there are cool stories or things that have happened that I'm not recalling right now, and that's a shame. I should write more regularly, but I spend more of my free time now study-study-studying. I've got kind of a "maximum-output fever" going on, and want to keep it up for as long as possible. I spend my time drilling flashcards, practicing grammar and reading Japanese comics I understand 40-60% of, with varying success. Right now reading a lot of Gantz, Dragon Ball, Bobobo, One Piece.... I also have been reading yet more Lovecraft, he's got an addicting style with his vivid, spooky imagery. And watching the hilarious music-student based drama Nodame Cantalibre, hilarious!!! (Ashleigh, you would like this one)
No point in forcing it I suppose - more of my quasi-exciting life coming soon!
"Given to the rising." - Neurosis
"I'm walkin' and I'm talkin' and I'm tryin' and I'm lyin' but I just can't get through to you! Maybe I'd be better off talkin' to a wall, cuz you aren't makin' any sense at all!" - Cro-mags
"And it's strange, but they're all basically the same, so I don't ask names anymore." - Death Cab
Everything shifts, all the time. Language is amorphous and ever-changing, so are the economics and so is the culture. It should come as no surprise that the residual effect is a dynamic yet unstably predictable slew of moods I find myself in each day. I don't know if I believe in bad days anymore, there are too many things can happen in a mere 24 hours. I do believe in the value of time, and a certain friend of mine said the other day he had an "out-date," a.k.a. a set time in mind when he was going to leave Japan. I was a little saddened to hear this as he's one of the few really cool people I've met here, but was of course supportive of his plans to move on, get a real career, etc.. More importantly, this bit of news he followed up with: "Having a set date in mind makes the time more enjoyable, if that makes any sense."
To me, it makes a world of sense. A galaxy, nay, a cosmos of freakin' sense. Goals are important, although mine aren't necessarily temporal (it's old news but as a refresher: learn Japanese as best as I can, help F.I.D. take over the world with grindcore, have fun, etc). In any regard I have never been content staying in one place or doing one set thing for too long, with possibly only 2 exceptions: reading and playing music. And even with these, I burnt out at times, went into slumps, got fed up with them - too much of anything is never a good thing, as the old proverb goes. Have I yet taken in too much Japan?
The answer is a bit counter-intuitive. I would describe my experience in Japan so far in the following chronological way: Seeing everything as surreal, followed by a splash of cold water in the face, followed by adjustment, followed by acceptance. My 4-step program, if you will.
Now there's this thing they call culture shock, but I don't think it's defined correctly. Note:
"culture shock: the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes."
What's wrong here is the word "suddenly." True, culture shock hits you when you first come to a new place, but it's residual effects are comparable to those who try and quit smoking. At first one has undeterred confidence in their ability to overcome, followed by waves of desire for going back to old habits. That's a lot like my experience of culture shock. Some days are lollipops and neon lights (perhaps better described as yogurt-flavored candy and squid strips), while others i feel the city grinding me down as a whole, just scraping slowly away at my humanity, to risk sounding a trifle over-dramatic. My buddy over at the The Ghost Letters has blogged about this latter phenomenon quite a bit, and it's something anyone in any big city must go through: feeling isolated, getting fed up with the crowds and whatnot. The main difference is that everything here feels like it hits an extremity...
Life in Japan is everything to the max. The colors are brighter, the gadgets shinier, the lights blink faster and the silly humans all squeeze in to make their way, everything going 100 miles a minute. I'm not used to it, I'm getting used to it; some days it feels normal and some day it feels like the veritable equivalent of walking around mars with my helmet off, Total Recall style. For instance, I saw a dude bitching out the station attendant for a late train the other day. He was a young salary man, obviously in a hurry and upset by the late trains. He kept saying things along the lines of (and I'm translating faithfully here): "I'm not fucking around! Do you think I'm kidding here? This train cannot be late, do something, seriously!" While the station attendant apologized repeatedly and profusely, bowing all the while. Thie is a prime example of what one would never see in the New York area: a slave to public transportation venting his anger out on a station attendant who can't do anything, the guy obviously catching flak for a problem he didn't cause, and still maintaining a "the customer is always right" mentality (also known as okyakusama ga kamisama, translation "the customer is god"). I think if you pulled that at Amtrak in Rensselaer, NY, the staff would just laugh at you.
But enough with all that stuff. Moving on. I had a somewhat rocky week, with construction beginning at 8am on Thursday morning keeping me a awake and forcing me to run on low batteries all day. Then I made the terrible mistake of going out Thursday night, getting woken up by the clings and clangs and hollers of construction workers after staying up until 2am, and subsequently feeling a little burnt out for my kids class that day. The real kicker of all this is there was a sign put up just this week, bi-lingual, saying in English: "we will be painting from March 6, sorry for the inconvenience." This was rather deceiving, as it not only began on March 5, but when I later looked at Japanese closer, the characters for "construction" were explicitly stated.
I was better prepared today but still missed sleeping in until 9 or 10 like normal. I tried asking one of the constructoin workers if they would be working on Sunday as well, and he gave me a run-around answer along the lines of "we're working until it's finished," if I understood him correctly. Maybe I didn't. Irregardless, the dude had half inch forests of nose-hairs coming out of his shnoz, and I can live without ever seeing that again, ever.
Work was a breeze, only a couple classes at my favorite school, all the students were animated and a pleasure to teach. Note: this was the exact opposite of an incredibly awkward and painful day I had earlier this week in Shinjuku. I taught a dude today who was on a plane to Vegas when the Twin Towers fell; he said they re-routed him to Vancouver and that when he finally made it to Vegas, everything was just shut down. No lights, no casinos, just desert and dead bulbs. Wild. Another student said he tried to watch Star Wars without Japanese subtitles, and he did fine except that he couldn't understand Yoda! I had to of course explain that Yoda says everything completely backwards, and hence has terrible grammar!
I was thanked several time for being generally helpful today, which always makes me feel good. I've never felt so appreciated in any line of work in the past as I often am at this job. I feel that of all the teachers that come through, a small amount really want to give it their all every time, and not to brag, but when I do something I do it right. I don't like half-assing anything. So, that made me feel good. The staff at that school are also becoming good friends of mine, and I'm crossing my fingers and toes that I'll have a set day there as of April on my next contract, as I'm only there once or twice a month as of now.
Today I came home and what's the first thing I see? A cockroach scurrying up my wall. I try and calm myself down but the overwhelming revulsion I feel for the thing is almost nauseating; I never had to deal with these guys back home, although house centipedes were another matter altogether. Fact of the matter is they both creep me out as much as anything possibly can.
I mustered up the stomach and slammed an old hard-cover copy of One Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (sorry Vernes) into the little bastard. It fell in the corner of my room, next to my bed in a corner of shoes and belts. I decided I had to move my bed and do some hardcore cleaning to get whatever putrid rice crumbs I had let find there way there for little dudes like this to much on (not to mention go buy some bug spray the next day). I proceeded to move my bed, poked at the shoey-belty-corner with an umbrella, and sure enough the little fucker comes sidling out on the wall apparently undamaged. I throw the book at him, my heart leaping out of my chest, and still see him scurry away after being apparently flattened, and into my shoe to boot!
That was it.
I flipped my shoe with the umbrella and he scurried behind the book. I kicked that book so furiously that the neighbors must have thought I was having a domestic dispute with myself, and finally it was over. I spent the next 3 hours cleaning up and working around all the crap I'd been putting off for so long. I watched Blazing Saddles for the umpteenth time while I cleaned, ate some pizza toast and felt inspired to pour out all of this you're reading. So in the end, it really was a good day, on the whole.
As I said at the beginning, things change constantly. Nothing is ever set, it just appears that way.
I mean, mozzarella cheese, big pieces of tomatoes and basil? How much more right can you get?! Or gluttonous, for that matter. And to anyone who talks smack about pizza in Japan, sure the portions leave a little to be desired and the sizes are smaller, but everything is smaller here! You really don't get eggs, mayo and squid pizza unless you ask for it, so don't believe the hype.
So what's new with me? A whole lot of nothing, that's what! 日本語ばかり勉強している = I feel like I'm doing almost nothing but studying Japanese. Not that that's a bad thing, but I've honestly kicked it into high gear, sacrificing most of my leisure time toward studying. I may be generally lazy or mild-mannered, but when I stubbornly set my mind on something, I see it through 110%, just so long as I don't lose interest. Which hasn't happened yet, as languages are a lot like endless puzzles, where exploring one nook leads you to a whole 'nother vista of inquiry you knew nothing about beforehand.
Case in point: rude Japanese. I love speaking rude Japanese, it's fun and people are even more shocked than when you speak in an overly polite manner (us foreigners always seem to achieve one or the other, it's an endless struggle). Naturally I only talk in such rude language among good friends... Although I've already once made the regrettable mistake of trying to be jovial with one of my bosses, only to be reminded by the look of sheer, audacious shock on his face that the respect hierarchy is not to be to be tampered with, in language or in action. In or outside the office, a subordinate speaks to his boss in keigo ("humble form"), bows him off of trains, etc. etc.. Of course I am not as subject to these standards as most Japanese, since I'm not expected by any of my fellow staff to speak Japanese, and am conversely expected to carry the aura of "native speaker" around with me, like a floating cultural orb. (It's one of the selling points of the company) If I do however decide to try and speak it, it's a "tread lightly" kind of situation. And just like in any country or culture, some people are way more lax than others, it really depends.
As should be obvious by my lack of formatting, I'm completely winging it this week. The theme was finding unexpected surprises in languages... ah yes. naname means diagonal. Whenever I record a word in my notebook, and subsequently place it into my flashcard program, I always double-check a second source to make sure I have not only recorded the meaning correctly, but also that I am not ignoring other potential meanings. I thought that diagonal surely couldn't mean anything but just that, but checked it on principal anyway. Glad I did, because I now know that gokigennaname means "in a bad temper." I'll be sure to use that one as soon as possible!
I had band practice today and it was rather by the numbers, except that now I've learned the majority of the songs and I'm beginning to get a chance to write my own stuff. It's always the most fun part of the being in a band for me: everything is still fresh and new, anything one wants to alter is still subject to change, and one can get useful feedback from fellow band members. The writing phase can be truly magical, as you are only limited by your own imagination, and you never know what shape things may take. It's as if the music sometimes becomes it's own living, breathing entity! And I don't feel that any of that was over-dramatic in the slightest. At practice, myself and the ladies of F.I.D. were surprisingly enough both in the same boat, as neither of us have had a "real band practice" (one with a drummer) since last summer! Josh, I know you won't read this but I miss jamming with you.
As well as practicing the songs, I also greatly enjoyed the chance to hang out with my band mates - they are not only a few of the best friends I have over here, but they're also Japanese, meaning I can practice my language skills, we can bounce our cultural nuances off of each other, and most always have a good time. Maybe their being Japanese wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but being an expatriate with mostly fellow expat-friends, it is. That point about language practice goes two-fold, since our bass player doesn't speak English much but definitely wants to improve. I even agreed to help her study for the TOEIC (Test of English for International Communication), a bar of measurement almost all Japanese use to weigh their language skills, the single most important exam for careers and all that too. Hopefully if I can coach my friend a bit and get her thinking about it the right way, she can study hard, do well on the test and get an awesome promotion or something.
Oh, and by the way, on the subject of bands, instead of saying "check, 1, 2" or "testing, testing," Japanese people go: "ah ah ah ah" into a microphone. I still find it very amusing every time, without fail.
I have had the weirdest dreams lately. From nightmares of terrifying kids' classes (as I'm nervous about the new ones I will receive in the new contract year coming in April) to surreal dreams of Gabe shooting some arch rival and chopping up the body and hiding it in a closet....no, I can't make this stuff up. I'll level that back home, I used to indulge in a certain, er, plant which has the effect on me of not remembering my dreams. Here, I remember something vivid and strange almost everyday, for better or for worse.
So this was a random post, was it not? I have toyed on and off with doing VLOG's (Video-blogs), and they are just so popular nowadays, but I think I express myself much better through the writing process. Besides, what do I really have to say that's so important you need to watch a streamed video of my face for ten minutes? The real thing is hard enough to take for ten minutes, and the virtual equivalent would most likely transmute me into some kind of demented Lawnmower man, choppin' up yer brains with my virtual-lawnmower.
Later!
"What an extraordinary situation is that of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he feels it. But from the point of view of daily life, without going deeper, we exist for our fellow-men — in the first place for those on whose smiles and welfare all our happiness depends, and next for all those unknown to us personally with whose destinies we are bound up by the tie of sympathy." - Albert Einstein, "The World as I See it."
Thanks, Wikipedia! And unexpected as it was I've had a better V-Day than any in recent memory. So many holidays have metamorphosed into their own separate entities here in Japan, and Valentines Day is no exception. How, you may ask can it get any more commercialized? The answer is White Day, a holiday invented only 30 years ago as a chance for "men to pay the women back." For whatever odd reason, here on V-Day only women are supposed to give chocolate to men. Ergo, one month later on White Day the men are supposed to return the favor. It all seems rather superfluous and unnecessary to me, and not just because I'm single! I thought to myself: "this year, I won't get any chocolates, so none to give back!" Then the Staff Director at a certain school gives me and the other teachers these bad boys:
Apparently they are really expensive too! Rightfully so, it was really, really good. The first chocolate I've eaten that wasn't a kit-kat dipped in peanut butter in veritable months... more like a piece of fancy soft cake.
Also, most likely just because the schools like to have school parties so that the teachers and students can mingle and drink outside of class, there was a Valentines party at one of my schools. I probably would not have went. except that my friend and staff member Kana was quitting the job to become a Primary school teacher! So I pretty much had to go. But I wasn't really complaining, my weekend was fairly quiet otherwise so it was something to do.
On the way there, I got reminded that the Yamenote (main circular loop-line in Tokyo) is NOT my least favorite train to ride... it's the Chuo. This might sound overly negative and it is intended as such. I love the train system here, but the crowds, closeness and just plain cuckoos you encounter are a rife pain. Case in point:
I'm riding the line when I hear some woman speaking indecently loudly (Japanese people are usually really quiet on the trains, except for the occasional semi-loud bunch of kids), so much so that by her words and tone of voice I thought she was being molested or something. "Thank God I'm on this side of the traincar," I thought, having recently watched "Soredemo boku wa yattenai," ("Even so, I didn't do it!") a Japanese film about a man who gets accused of molesting a girl on a subway, all the while protesting he didn't do it. The serious problems with the Japanese legal system - no mistrials, lack of a jury, bias toward law enforcement agencies - are all outlined by a dude who basically gets his entire life wrecked because some girl thought she groped him on a packed train. Guilty until proven innocent, if that's even possible, kind of stuff. Scary.
Tangent! The point is ever since watching it I've been keeping my hands up in plain sight or somewhere where no poor young girl could accuse me of a crime that would have me deported. So this lady is apparently crying about something for all to hear, everyone just ignoring it of course. Time passes - it's a 25 minute train ride. About 10 minutes afterward, a girl walks in on the opposite side of the car, texting on her cell-phone, a normal enough scene. I need explain that in every train-car here they have a special handicapped section, where there are signs not to use your cell phone (apparently due to the fact that maybe 10 years ago cells could have possibly interfered with pacemakers). Suffice it to say the girl wasn't adhering to this rule, and that's also totally normal. There's no danger unless you're talking on the phone in a loud, rude fashion, and that's just the danger of getting mean stares from old people.
Out of nowhere, there's a loud "EEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!" like a bat caught in a cocktail blender. I jumped out of my skin, crawled back in and looked around. Then, the same voice as before, but much closer to me saying something along these lines, really loudly: "Stop using your goddamn phone! Can't you read? EEEEEEEEEEEK!! STOP IT, STOP IT!" The girl looks like she's completely bewildered but hiding it really well. She says "I'm sorry," and the woman says "SHUT THE HELL UP!" And goes in ranting really loudly in the poor accused girl's face, using a lot of words I didn't catch but that anyone from anywhere would get the gist of. Finally she quiets back down and at the next stop I see this protesting woman waddling off: short and middle-aged, with a spiteful face like she had been terribly wronged.
Now there's a decent chance (maybe better than decent) that this woman was mentally handicapped somehow. That's all well and good - it reminds me of how certain mentally disabled people in my life back home would take things as black and white as they were written, so in other words "no cell phones" means NO CELL PHONES, end of story. But still, I wonder what her story was, and in any case am thankful that I rarely have to ride that particularly busy, packed train, the kind which always carries along with it an extra batch of nutters.
So the school party was actually pretty fun. I got a good buzz on at school which was a little weird. At first it was quite funny: there were the 3 female staff members, 3 male teacher and about 10-15 middle-aged men in attendance. And more and more of what seemed to be nothing but men 35+ kept coming in. Quite the romantic occasion! -___- Eventually - and I recall saying "there is a god if the next person who walks in is a woman," and being pleasantly surprised - the gender ratio evened out a bit. It was fun to get to hang out with Kana before she left for good, and here's a picture after she gave a speech to everyone about her leaving:
As the night progressed I looked up the fact I started this entry out with on Wikipedia. For obvious reasons I didn't really try to explain it to anyone who couldn't speak English fluently (somehow "beheaded" just doesn't come up in the textbook vocab lists more often than not). Later one of the other staff members was pop-quizzing me on character readings, pointing at the various stuff on the computer and saying: "what's this?" and me wowing the students that I could read 4 characters. They are way too easily impressed!
We went out to a short-lived after-party at a local "Irish pub" - short-lived since we are all slaves to the last train - and it was nice to drink a dark beer like Bass again. A shame it costs 900 yen...
That was that night in a nutshell. Nothing major happened this weekend except a whole lot of Japanese studying, the usual. I want to be able to pass the level 2 JLPT test at the end of the year, which is a very lofty goal I will admit. However, if I continue at this rate, I might just pull it off. I'm currently reading Silence of the Lambs as well, just finished Henry Rollins' "Get in the Van" (short and very sweet), and am listening to Chuck P.'s "The Haunted" and Richard Dawkins "God Delusion" on my Ipod (sorry Mom and Dad).
And in closing, yoinked directly from Japan Probe:"Finance Minister Shoichi Nakagawa gives drunken press conference at G7 meeting"
Even if you don't understand any Japanese, watch this. It's hilarious and incredibly disgraceful on the part of the Japanese government. This dude is drunk, but later claims were that he was on "cold medicine." He asks the questioners to repeat themselves, and at the very end he's asking which way to face the camera.
"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses." - Lenny Bruce
"Money is funny - how a piece of paper can make or break your very existence Quick as it come, quick as it go - you better know about the ebb and the flow You get money in droves, trick it on cars and blow Throw dollars at black queens 'cause, for the dough they'll strip their clothes And for the right amount of money A king will pimp his queen into being a ho on a stroll Life will always be hard when you choose to make money your god" - KRSone featuring MC Lyte
It happens in the middle of Winter. There are no fireworks or picnics, just a lot of people with a day off. 建国記念の日,kenkoku kinen-no-hi, or National Foundation's Day if you like, is summed up by Wikipedia as follows:
"In contrast with the events associated with earlier Kigensetsu, celebrations for National Foundation Day are relatively muted. Customs include the raising of Japanese flags and reflection on the meaning of Japanese citizenship. The holiday is still relatively controversial however, and very overt expressions of nationalism or even patriotism are rare." (Kingensetsu was Empire Day, and a big holiday up until WWII)
I thought maybe I was missing the celebratory actions, the traditions, the national gusto, but nay! This holiday is really just a day on the map. It's been nice for me though: I studied quite a bit today, and met up for the first time outside of class with my new language exchange partner, Ami! It was a lot of fun and I learned some fun facts I never knew before, such as: "When referring to McDonalds, Tokyo people say "Makku" but the Osaka dialect is "Makudo," and other fun random facts. How I love fun random facts!
Did I mention that I'm going to learn 2000 kanji by the end of the Summer? You can too, using the free spaced-flashcard software called anki, and the Remembering the Kanji series by the ingenious Mr. Heisig. This is not a plug but a recommendation from someone who has explored various study options over the last few years. That's all I'll say about that.
I took a look at learning hangul (the Korean writing system), which is believe it or not is claimed to be the most logical and easy to learn writing system in the world! (Here's a fun rap video about it!) This is because it was designed by a group of scholars in the 1440s because, prior to the invention of it they used Chinese characters (just like the Japanese). For this reason however, "the majority of Koreans were effectively illiterate before the invention of Hangul." If you are interested then google it. Anyways, since I'm going to Korea and have always wanted to learn at least some Korean, I figure I should squeeze it in before my trip. At least I'll be able to say some basic phrases, and read the signs to an extent.
Note to self: My new Life Goal is to be able to speak and read Japanese, Korean and Chinese before I die. :)
I spent some of my travel time today listening to Henry Rollins' "Get in the Van," for the first time. For those who don't know, it's an autobiography of his life in Black Flag from 1981-86. Suffice it to say it's powerful, almost unbelievably brutal and if nothing else captivating. It does remind me of my vague hunger to achieve a once relentless dream of playing music I want to play and traveling the world, but I've long ago shelved that one as a "would be nice if it actually happened but I'm not getting my hopes up too much" dream. Though hey, you never know.
Still some kind of rough events going on back home (in New York that is) that I would like to be around for, to support certain people during their hard times. But I am here, and they are there, so I have to make do with what I can do from a distance. I did get a chance to communicate with said persons last night though, and even through the limitations of computers it almost felt like being home again. I love you, don't forget it!!!!
I took a look at poetry again today for the first time in a while. Just like writing music, I go through random creative spurts. I've left you with something to chew on at the bottom, and if you like, check out my other writings here.
Doing a quick post since here I have the time; Maybe some of you out there are disappointed with my recent lack of pictures, or my less frequent updates. Well for one thing that's just how it'll have to be, but for my sake and the sake of keeping this blog alive and well I'll try to update it once a week at minimum. Thanks for reading internet zombies!!
"If I focus myself on it with intensity, with clarity I can run nowhere and see the world.
Floating free through the amorphous stew of a life in lieu of something to do.
which is a goal ?any shape size or color paint it so black you can't see the others" - Benjamin L. Belcher
Sometimes everything just seems to fall into place. After the whole shoe fiasco, I was ready to expect nothing much out of my weekend, even though I knew it had potential to be something good. And how life does pleasantly surprise when you don't quite expect it.
Saturday night I randomly chatted with a former classmate of mine, Kaitlin, who happens to be living in South Korea as an English teacher herself. Through the magic of Skype, I was able to talk directly to her and see her lofty new apartment. It looks quite nice, although she lives in Gyeongsan, apparently one of the more conservative parts of Korea - meaning few foreigners. And not a few as in 1 in 500 like my town on the outskirts of Tokyo prefecture, more like 1 in 10000, to give a B.S. statistic. The kind of place where if you see a white dude, you do a double-take. The kind of place where you can only order Korean food from restaurants. The kind of place where little kids point and yell "FOREIGNER!" And Mommy doesn't smack them on the head, she says: "yes, that's right." And as it turns out, since Kaitlin was lovely enough to agree to house me for a week, AND the exchange rate is so sweet right now, AND I have 9 days paid vacation in the beginning of May, I figured I'd be stupid NOT to go there!
I actually just now (a week later) bought my ticket. Only $700 roundtrip, can't do much better than that. So I don't know much about Korea, really, besides some of its wacky laws: they can fire employees at will with no need for reason or explanation - same goes in Japan actually, but it has to happen within two weeks of employment beginning. And the fact that it's not as used to foreigners as Japan is. I do love Korean food, and the idea of going to a new country excites me greatly, since as much as I love Japan it's almost starting to feel somewhat normal to me. I need a good, cold slap in the face from my friend Culture Shock..
Anyways, more on travel plans as the time comes, April 29 can't get here soon enough! Or the 1st of April for that matter, when job contracts are renewed and I get to see what schedule changes (if any) have been made for the following contract year. Here's hoping for some closer schools, and still getting to keep my favorite classes!
Back in time, I knew Sunday would be a busy day so I also worked out Saturday night. Sunday morning I hit up band practice, always a good time. The girls were pleasant as always and overly complimentary about my apparent overnight improvement in speaking Japanese. Really, I've just been refreshed of what was in the dusty recesses of my memory and have had more grammar, speaking and listening practice lately, the kind of stuff I really need. We had a solid practice, and I was informed by our vocalist Makiko that she had done an interview with a Czech metal magazine about the band, making the first public announcement that "there's a white American dude named Ben playing guitar now." When asked about the implications of a once all-female band, such as feminist ideals or what have you, she simply put it like it is: "it just happened that we were all girls in the first place, nothing more than that." I really hope to get a look at the interview some time.
Also in band news, concerning our drummer situation (Tomoko, the currently MIA drummer just had her baby!) we managed to meet up with Ian later that day, and as it stands now he'll be playing drums. I am incredibly excited about this, as a real drummer means lives practices without having to follow recordings, and many more opportunities for writing music. Hopefully some shows will be coming by late Spring! I have been looking forward to playing a gig in this country ever since I got here.
Since my friend Koba, bass player for one of the opening bands agreed to take my guitar and put it in the backstage area, me and Ian were able to go straight to the show. It was awesome, and I wish I could have taken some pictures or something, but I was having too much fun. Crystal Lake put on a great set, and Shai Hulud played so many old songs and put on one hell of a show. Ian did the west-coast circle-pit thing and I did mine, it was really just an awesomely cathartic show, and left me feeling good the rest of the night.
Funny side story - we had put our jackets with my guitar, and later were hanging out backstage to watch the bands and avoid the slew of sweaty teenagers. So we find my guitar in the overly cramped space for bands, but no jackets. We started to get a bit nervous, and the headlining band (Parkway Drive, a generic snoozefest in my opinion) was playing so we couldn't look for our stuff. We tell Koba, and 2 minutes later I see him look briefly, then apparently go to the side of the stage to watch with everyone else. I figure he just gave up on our stuff and would help us later.
However, like a hardcore holyman, the dude somehow cannonballs into the crowd, and comes back mere moments later with both of our jackets, I have no idea how. Maybe you had to be there to appreciate it but it was random and really cool of him to do. I once heard a guy say that "Japanese friends are hard to make, but if you do, they'll stick by your side 100%." I've also always made the connection of music with people I've felt close to, so it's nice to know that even all the way out here, we can share that bond.
WOW this is starting to sound campy and lame. In much cooler news I met the "I wanna go to troy" guy (remember him?) he was drinking a bottle of jack all night, but i talked to him for a bit about cutthroat, that old Albany hardcore band he liked. I told him about the Swollen Shut CDs, and that I'd get him a copy. Figure he'd appreciate it - I've been listening to it nonstop at the gym (thanks Torn)
Monday was a typical down-day, but fine by me. I went to class, and studied pretty hard. I also ordered a book which has changed my perception of Japanese characters, one most students of the language probably already know about: Heisig's "Remembering the Kanji." Basically, you identify parts of the characters, give them meanings and make silly stories or other mnemonic devices to help you remember. It works a trillion times better and faster than rote memory (repetition) and has helped me learn and identify over 100 new characters in the last couple of days. At this rate I hope to hit the 2000 mark by the end of the Summer, at the latest. Couple this with the 2-4 hours a day of Japanese study I've been putting in, and I'm gonna get good. Real good. Like 10 levels up. And if I can continue this motivation, and keep up at this pace, I'll really reap the benefits (those benefits being the ability to understand shit around me, read comics and talk to people easier). It feels good to be working towards a goal out here, and not just wandering around aimlessly.
Speaking of Japanese, funny story about last week as well: I have Japanese classes not only Mondays but Wednesdays as well, which involves getting home from work around 11 Tuesday night, and getting up at 8:30 the next day. Sounds easy, but I'm bad at that. I usually set 2 alarms (cell phone and computer) for my job and other priorities, in case one fails. Skipped the computer one Tuesday night, and paid the price when I awoke at 10am. Why did my cell phone not deliver the goods? Because I dropped it off my bed, which must have hit the button on the side which turns off the ringer. Completely bogus! Not making that mistake again.
What else, what else. Saw Kylesa, and some other bands in Shin-Okubo on Saturday night. It's funny because, since I went straight from work I showed up in my suit, snoopy-tie and all, and the British dude I know who always wears the Dead Guy shirt just says: "I don't feel right talking to you now man! You should be wearing a punk t-shirt under that or something!" I'm glad I came early though, because I got to see TERROR SQUAD, maybe the Municipal Waste of Japan. "TOKYO! METARU! FIIIYAAAAA!" So fast and thrashy, I'm definitely going to see them again. And Coffins were great as always, like methadone for the ears. Things were thrown off the stage as well as people, and it was a fun time. Unfortunately I drank more ambitiously than I could handle and had to leave early.... not to mention having the first time experience of falling asleep standing up on the train home. That was weird and slightly disconcerting. I blame you:
I introduced a friend to my favorite movie ever in the history of the Universe, UHF. It's quirky, random and chock-full of Weird Al's special brand of humor. Always puts me in a good mood. I haven't done too much else this weekend but study, which is a good thing. I started reading Silence of the Lambs. Oh, and I almost feel stupid for owning 3 video game consoles and barely playing them... I mostly just play my DS on the trains! Although Mario Kart Wii has been happening on occasion. Again though, this is most likely a good thing, I'm feeling determined about learning and for the first time have the ability to focus all my efforts (outside work and daily life) on this language, so I will own it. No question about that.
P.S. Things I'm eating as of late: bean sprouts (because they're cheap), tantanmen (Chinese Ramen because it's spicy, cheap and delicious), and microwavable pizzas (because you can take the foreigner out of the country but...)
"Today we're teaching poodles how to fly!" - Raul's Wild Kingdom
We are right now caught in the nasty beginnings of what could be coined as the Even Greater Depression. Everything is being cut: spending, jobs and peoples ability to spend freely. Security and peace of mind for some, others merely switch to basic cable or stop downloading so many new ringtones. Me, I don't feel it much over here in Japanland, but the news reports I read make me wonder it's like living back home. Most especially in the heavily taxed state of New York. How far do we have to clutch onto faith before it peters out, and how much can one new administration do to push against the oncoming tides of worldwide economic collapse? I sit and wonder. Simultaneously, I stand on the sidelines while businessmen squirm in their suits and pull at their neckties. I'm happy to be a low man on the totum pole and let someone else cut 2,000 workers from his or her respective company. I don't need that kind of responsibility.
But enough about the world and its perils! The heel fell off of my shoe the other day in class. Strange as it may sound, I quickly stood up after being informed I was teaching in the wrong room and later realized my left rubber heal had come clean off. It made for an uncomfortable walk home, and I'll be wearing sneakers in to work the next two days until I can get these guys fixed. A mile of walking a day really does a number on a high class set of Bostonians, huh?
What's gone and what's coming. Hmm. A few students I've known for a while have started to become like friends to me, which is nice. I had one asking if I taught any 80 minute advanced classes, since he was tired of the normal (and totally unstructured) 40 minute lessons. That was flattering. Another student who is quitting is in agreement about become language exchange partners, which is fantastic, since I need all the help I can get.
Yesterday a co-worker was talking about children, asking a British bloke if he had any. 11 years of marriage and he thought that the "cons outweighed the pros," therefore never did. Overpopulation, financial insecurity etc. etc. She looks at me and says: "I can tell you'll be a father." Was that statement good, bad, ugly? Fake or genuine? Superfluous or a prediction of my future? I sometimes buy the overpopulation argument myself...
My overly animated face (called muppet by some back in the 518 zip code) has been said to entertain crowds of all ages.
Today, I had a great kids class. My kids are like freakin angels. Incredibly well-behaved, they hang on most everything I say, ask good questions, and most importantly have a lot of fun paying games. I taught them all "NOTHING!" for when they lost in a dice game, and "ROLL!" for when they roll the die. The one said "ROCK!" instead, which was ultimately much funnier in person. One of my students, a 9-year old (senior of the other two) and a really smart one is switching days for ballet class. I was kind of sad about that, it'll only be a class of 2 now, but we'll see where it goes from there. Either way it's 50 minutes of fun I find myself looking forward to each and every Friday, and beats most of my regular lessons by far. Can I get 3 adult students all desperately trying to snap their fingers like me and be subsequently as cool, or play shoot the basket and flip out if I start moving it around? An easy audience to be sure.
Oh those pesky adult lessons. Sometimes, when the lubricative juices of conversation just refuse to flow, I find myself thinking: "I should have a rusty set of pliers and several teeth in my hand after that lesson!" But really it's not so bad, I'd say they are 75% enjoyable and often quite fun.
Some stuff going on at home, certain people tell me not worry about certain others, which I'm certainly incapable of controlling. Expatriation is a real double-edged sword: Priceless experience at the cost of being far from the ones you love back home. Like Chris said, I don't know how I'd do this without the internet. I can't imagine life without it at all, for that matter.
I'm hardcore studying at least an hour or 2 of Japanese everyday, on the trains, during work breaks or even *gasp* at home in my free time! And I'm already feeling an increase in comprehension. Listening and dealing with numbers are still my ultimate jakuten (weak point), but I can feel the tide starting to turn. Japanese manga makes more sense, bit by bit. I don't know what exactly I'll do with these skills, but they'll be fun and worth the hard work, I'm sure.
On a side note, I was so tired in my last lesson due to staying up late with my older punker neighbor from Cali, watching the American Hardcore movie (totally bias but cool) that the next day I was thrashed in Japanese class. My creative juices were not flowing, my brain wasn't working, and I was spacing out. In fact, I learned Boutosuru, which means to space out. Useful!
I'm watching a documentary on Hunter S. Thompson. What a guy. Tomorrow is work and nothing in particular, but Sunday means band practice, hanging out with friends and most importantly Shai Hulud and other sweet bands. My first show in like 6 weeks, far far too long to wait. Also Kylesa is playing next weekend, very excited for that.
How is January already almost over?
"Don't you realize that evil lives in the motherfucking skin?" - System of a Down.
"I'm sorry, someone has to lose in this game of life. And tonight, that someone is yououuuuu!" - Cold World
I used to be looked at by other people as different and weird by my teammates because I would clap and cheer for my team in the middle of games, and encourage people even though I myself was a terrible baseball player. Little League was definitely not my thing - I would often be falling asleep standing up in the outfield, or become entranced by the dandelions rustling in the wind and the heat smothering by body. I often struck out, blinked right before the ball went by and was in general not a good player. I remember being blamed for losing a game and sobbing like a little girl, running off the field. I remember accidentally hitting a kid in the knee when I was in the batters box; I'm fairly sure that was an accident. I even remember throwing my bat in frustration, one time mere feet from my coach and still getting the sportsmanship trophy (because everyone on the team had to get a trophy for something).
What am I getting at you may wonder. For one thing it's all true, and for another I want to write today about some things for my sake and yours, such as what am I doing living in Japan and why do I take fairly well to existing in such a foreign environment? Why do I like teaching?
I remember feeling isolated and different pretty often as a kid, usually being treated as the outcast of the group. Whether it was to try to make friends, a reflection of my Christian upbringing, or some other thing that inspired me, I was always really enthusiastic and positive when the other players did something right. I don't remember ever receiving this treatment back, and somehow I think I knew I wouldn't (because if I did something right it was a total fluke anyhow), but it felt like the only contribution I could make to the team without messing up. So I clapped or cheered from the lonely right field, regardless of everyone else's attitudes.
I realize looking back that I was a kid who didn't think like a normal kid. What the others prioritized was winning games, hitting the hardest or running the fastest, maybe even showing off for their parents or friends. My priority was surviving practices and games for the hot dog or pizza at the end. But in all seriousness, it usually was. That and trying to contribute something, show some love and maybe get something for it in return?
The point in all this, besides getting a few good laughs as I am content with myself and even the more unflattering bits of my past, is that I like giving to other people. I receive some elusive and deep pleasure to be unconditionally encouraging towards another who is trying hard at something. I know that this idea of treating others as you'd like to be treated is a very Christian one, and even though I'm not a practicing Christian I consider the morals valuable and worthy to live by. In the classroom and in the real world I like to be brutally honest (not always a good idea) but also as supportive as I can be in general of other people's ambitions. I'm sure I slip here or there and I'm not always 100% in the giving mood, but most of the time I base my actions along these lines. Say what you want about the flaws and paradoxes of religion, the tyrants who've ruled by it and the people who've suffered due to these writings and in the name of God, I think there are some innate moral truths underneath all the fog and smoke.
But enough about my past, religion and baseball. I recently taught a lesson which had, as a conversational question: "Is it better to have a lot of acquaintances or a few close friends?" This is a question perhaps you've heard or thought about before. The student in this case actually read my mind, saying that a few close friends is better, but the advantages of an extended social network are abundantly self-evident (those weren't his exact words of course). Ever since I've moved to Tokyo, I've had to shift from being more set on just hanging out with these 3 or 4 close friends to being more flexible and social. I think this is good for me, as it has forced me to come out of my shell a bit and I've got to meet interesting people from different parts of the world - mainly America, the U.K., Australia and of course Japan. I did maintain such social networks when doing bands and such back home, but I always had my real friends to look to and fall back on. Here I don't. Here I have a few people I feel I can trust 100%. Fewer still are those who I simply get, feel comfortable around and like their personalities and the feeling is mutual. I know lots of people who I just don't click with like that - Was it Plato who said the deep, philosophical friendships were the best and rarest kind, Greg? - but I still like talking to them, or having someone to shoot the shit with in between classes or at the bar or on the trains. It can be stifling though, hence part of the reason I felt so down the last time i posted on here, to only be friends with people you don't really know. I can't expect the same things I do from people I've known for years or shared my passions with or my soul with - but I find myself wanting to do just that. To put my trust in people I don't know well enough, and to open up because at times I'd give anything to just be myself and speak my mind without having to filter and consider and re-word every little thing. Sometimes this gets me into trouble. Actually depending on what you call trouble, you could say it gets me into something every day. I wish I knew where I stood with like 8 different people right now, but that story will be told when it happens. I'm sure there'll be comedies and tragedies abound.
Not very Japan-related today, gomen ne. (sorry) I started taking Japanese lessons last week, twice a week, 2 lessons per day Monday and Wednesdays a bit earlier than I would like, but that will force me not only to study harder but to sleep in less. All positive things. I have no real long term goals here in Japan except to become as fluent as possible. Ganbatte! (I'll do my best!)
I went to Ian's place on the military base in Fussa for a quick dinner after work on Friday (quick because I live 70 minutes away and the last trains come all too soon when you get out of work at 9). He made burritos, and subsequently made me the happiest man alive. I have a real passion for mexican food, but hadn't eaten burrito shells, corn chips, refried beans, guacamole or sour cream in easily 5 months. All of those things are hard to find here, and if you find them they're expensive! Luckily for Ian the military base provides a grocery store with everything Americans could want to keep them happy.
I went to my friend Renee's birthday party last night, and at the risk of incurring feminine wrath I'll go ahead and post this picture of me looking way cooler than I actually am:
As anti-photogenic as I am, that is probably the best picture of me that will ever be taken. The party was great, went to the famous 100 yen bar (100 yen draft beers, that's like $1 a pop folks) in Shinjuku and took the place over, must have been 40-some people there just for Renee's party. They ran out of proper mugs and started giving out these little baby glasses. They ran out of pitchers and got slow for a while which prompted me to make a quick run to the convenience store out of sheer impatience. I had an awesome time and wish last train didn't always hang over our evenings and end such great parties so prematurely! Although some people choose to go out all night, I just don't pace myself like that... plus 12-5am is a looong time.
Ok, that's it! I'll try and get back to my normal posting habits, although I've been keeping busier! Keep reading and hey, if you like what I write, tell a friend or something and spread the word! I'm puttin my all into this thing, might as well tell the world.
"I know you, but I don’t know you, You can not tell me what’s inside, why can't you swallow your pride?" - H20 "Cross out the eyes, Blur all the lines, Tearing this canvas from the wall" - Thursday
You know those days where every little thing goes wrong? Well I had one today, and here's a breakdown because who doesn't love a little e-angst? I mean, in a society where it's expected to repress all true feeling and not show your emotions, where else am I going to vent? And will I ever stop asking rhetorical questions?
I'll back up to soften my emo-blow here (because complaining about anything is "emo" nowadays, and I should just wear a smile of dumb happiness like I do at work all the time? Forget that). Yesterday was a good day, and it contained what may have been one of my best classes of all time. I had a student whom I felt very comfortable talking to - her level was quite high and I'd had her before. She is one of a non-rare breed of students who teaches English to kids but can always use extra help from a native speaker. Somehow I got on to the subject of exercise, and explained that until a few years ago I had really been a regular slob with bad eating habits and no real motivation to better myself. Due to events I chose to omit for obvious reasons (but will go into more in the future, such as my late brother Bruce and the impending realities of adulthood), I gave her my success story as humbly as I could; But I'm not going to lie, I did feel good talking about it. I could never imagine going back to the way I was before, I'm a lot more happy with myself nowadays.
Anyhow, she says to me: "Wow, you have such a strong will." And me, cynic/realist me says to her that pretty much any kind of life change is possible if you want it badly enough - you can do what you put your mind too. After this I could tell she was hesitant about something so I pressed her a bit, and she revealed to me that she has been taking a Beginner-level correspondence course for learning medical English (such as Orthodontist or Pediatrician), but it had become quite daunting and when the course was up in February, she was thinking of throwing in the towel. I told her she should stick with it and that it's really a totally doable goal, the real key to it lies in learning some of the basic Latin roots to make sense out of the words. The real kicker though is that she seemed downright touched by my encouraging words, and told me that when she told other teachers about learning medical English they just said things like: "Why?" or "That's way too hard." I find this kind of negative nancy attitude in the workplace - yes, I taught her that too - to be seriously depressing and downright offensive toward my job as a whole. Yes it's a conversational school and not a psychiatric ward, but to be so discouraging of a student with lofty goals is just pathetic. It comes across me as the equivalent of: "oh my life sucks, you're doing something worthwile? You suck, you can't do that." I told her she pays for the lesson and should have the right to talk about whatever she wants. At the end of 40 minutes she said: "It's over already?" I don't think I've ever gotten such a nice response before.
But enough with the positive shtick - if only every student had heart and ambitions like that - or at the very least wasn't a total robot. Yes, the collectivist Japanese attitude and the hoards of "empty shells" (as another teacher so succinctly put it) is starting to get to me. If your biggest hobby is shopping, I don't know why you're wasting our oxygen with your existence. If JPOP is the only kind of music you listen to, you probably care more about what's cool to like then what is actually anything close to good, passionate music. If you want to be in a conversation class, at least pretend that your life is more interesting than watching every episode of The View back to back while trapped in a small room with a ping pong paddle, two sticks and a dustbin.
So.
Last night I was enjoying a quiet evening at home, drinking some beers and watching Clint Eastwood's new flick "Gran Torino." It might be the best thing I've ever seen him do since the 70s. I had a some amount of beer which caused me to be a little sluggish the next morning. Fair enough. It seems every Thursday, basically my last real "workout day" of the week, I'm hurting and have trouble motivating myself. I usually sleep in copiously and by the time I get out of bed, get to the gym and finish up, I have something like an hour to go home, make a lunch, get my stuff together, change and walk back to the train station to catch the train on time for work. And yes, I realize I only do this to myself with my erroneous scheduling.
And to top it off there's this dude named Sakao who speaks fluent English and works at the gym.
Oh, Sakao. Who said the road to hell was paved with good intentions? Well they were right. I talked to this dude one time, and now whenever he sees me he's smiling, waving and asking me how I am and what I think of this or that as an American. I mean, I respect the man and his curiosity and all but it's a bit annoying when you have a set schedule to adhere to and are trying to exercise. I'm nice about it though - and it is cool to have someone talking to me and not giving one of 3 token responses: 1) bowing and saying "Otsukaresama desssu" (you must be tired after working so hard), this obviously being from the staff only. What kills me is when they say it before I've even started - I'M NOT TIRED YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 Just one of those phrases that has lost all literal meaning. I also hear it in echos and droves at work. And in my sleep.
Anyway. Token response toward foreigner Ben #2: Look away or ignore. I don't mind this one so much, I go to the gym to do what I do and leave, not to socialize. Though maybe I feel like an unloved gorilla in a bad zoo exhibit sometimes. Response #3: Probably the least common but it still happens, the occasional "WTF" stare, or curious stare, or unknowing stare, however you want to interpret it. I'm used to this so it doesn't bother me much anymore.
What was I talking about again? Oh right, Sakao. So today we were talking about the recent Obama inauguration, a real hot topic over here at the moment. (Obama is like a superstar in Japan right now: black, cool AND relavent!) He asks me if I think things will turn around and I gave him my honest opinion: I think that it will all take more time than the fickle American people want to admit. People have built up Obama like a second coming of Christ, and while he's a great speech writer and his rhetoric is awe-inspiring, his Presidential "change" really has yet to be seen. It's going to take more than 2 months of Obama to turn around the economical trends that have been decades in the making - more than 2 years even. I think that realistically Obama could be a great President and still things could be in the shittier when he leaves office. Consumer confidence only can be pushed so far by one man, powerful and representative of the C-word as he may be. I also made some comparisons between Taro Aso, the current Japanese Prime Minister, and Bush, and Sakao noted how even though Aso entered the position something like a year ago, his approval rating went from a then-60% to a now less than-20%. The masses truly are fickle and impossible to please.
So I said something along those lines. The dude has a pretty good vocabulary and said he was impressed that my expectations seemed so realistic. He said in fact that most Americans he had talked to have shared my passive enthusiasm and hopes for the future. I told him I thought that was not representative of how America actually is - it's a mass of people undereducated in politics who vote more like they're voting in a High School popularity contest, on appearance and charisma alone. I said that I think maybe the more knowledgeable Americans (or at least those in college or with a BA like me) just had the notion that getting the !#$% out of dodge for a few years wouldn't be a bad idea right now.
Wow, hell of a rant. So when I left the gym, my day slowly began to slip into the crapper. It had been drizzling all night and would be all day, so the weather was cold and miserable. Getting back I found what I thought to a totally unnecessary new sign JUST put into my guest house in Japanese and English: "Please take off your shoes AT THE DOOR!!" I do this anyway even though it's a royal pain, and everyone and their mother knows about this particular cultural aspect! We're in Japan for pete's sake, why the need for a sign, especially a bilingual one?!
I realized as soon as I walked into my apartment that I had a stack of dishes and wouldn't be able to make my token eggs and sausage breakfast - in fact I was out of sausage and the green peppers I usually put into my omelettes all went bad overnight somehow. So I went with just eggs which was OK, but the real kicker was when I realized that I had no clean suit in my apartment! I had worn a fairly scummy suit Tuesday because I had failed to drop clothes off at the Dry Cleaners in time. That was no biggie. Then on Wednesday I found out that the place is closed every Wednesday, so another day in the scumsuit. Yuck. Today being Thursday, despite the lack of time I had no choice but to haul ass over to the dry cleaners (a 4 minute walk) and get my suits. I did and came back. Finished washing my dishes since I thought I had time. Put on a freshly laundered pair of pants and, low and behold, there's a tear in them in the same @#$%ing spot above the pocket that there was a month ago when I paid those people to fix it. Curses! So I got ready quickly and hauled ass once again with only about 2 minutes of extra time to drop off my damaged goods at the "High Speed Eagle," as it's called, followed by me not understanding some Japanese and going like "HUH just let me pay for the freakin pants" and finally realizing that it was free of charge, most likely because they had fixed it before. I thanked them and made a mad dash to the train with about a minute to spare.
!o_o!
Two uneventful train-rides later I was on my way to school, but the weather and everything else had just tired me out and made me feel like anything but "teaching." I also realized around this time I had forgotten, for the first time in veritable months, to pack a lunch. That delicious and healthy sandwich on whole wheat bread, one of the awesomest parts of my shift would not be partaken today. I sighed and thought hey, no problem, I'll just go to that cheap rotating-sushi restaurant instead! This pepped me up a bit.
The damn place was closed for repairs.
I ate a Wendy's double cheese instead - not too bad and almost identical to the American equivalent, except perhaps for the sesame seeds on the bacon. I went to work, clocked in and wanted to dropkick a baby seal when I read the note attached to my timecard. It was news about my sub duty on Saturday, and this bears some explanation: Usually I get sent to a random school to hang around and help out where I can, and don't have to substitute-teach anybodies actual shift on Saturdays. I really don't mind sub shifts at all, it's just that they tend to start a good 2 hours earlier, and considering my schedule of 3:30-9:30 on weekdays, 10:15-4:15 on Saturday is no fun at all, especially when the school is a good hour away. The last 2 weeks I've been subbing for this Aussie who is out on a long vacation - fair enough. I had a trainwreck of a class the first time teaching those wacky 3 year-olds, as mentioned a few posts back, but the second time went pretty good. In fact I even had a 1 on 1 model lesson with a 3 year old girl that day which was super fun. Regardless, turns out the Aussie is for whatever reason calling in sick and most likely just extending his vacation. I did not expect to have to teach 3 year olds so early in the damned morning again so freakin soon, and am just not looking forward to it. I'm going to Ian's for a quick dinner (before my unfortunate last-trains come all to soon) Friday night after work which will involve me getting home late, then Saturday is an early day AND I have a birthday party I'm supposed to attend Saturday night. Should be an interesting weekend.
Back to my day though, since you're all dying of suspense here. I also found out my first student was one who made me feel really uncomfortable by hitting herself in the back of the head when she made mistakes and I corrected her a few months back - I dreaded having her again and today of all days, I did. It wasn't so bad in the end, I picked an easy lesson and was as lenient, babying and encouraging as I could be to a 50-odd year old owman, but I swear if she only ever actually studied outside a biweekly 40 minute session she might actually learn something. Such is the case with many of the (often annoying) hobbyists who frequent our schools: Their attitude is more like "Oh my god! I get to talk to a foreigner" than "I really want to learn to speak a foreign language." I now totally understand all the monkey-in-a-suit comparisons that come from jaded English teachers who rant on the net like I have succumb to doing right now: We are objects of entertainment for many, and that is what keeps the English Conversation School business alive and kicking. It's really a zoo out there...
It puts food in my stomach anyway. Oh and the aforementioned self-mutilator student only hit herself twice, relatively lightly, so I'd call that a success? The rest of the day I felt like crud, and I had one good class which involved brutal stories of double-bike riding accidents and intense sunburns, but the others were just forced and dull conversation about things I didn't care about. I felt tired, somewhat cranky and not like teaching, just one of those days. The funniest thing that happened all day was at the end, when me and 3 of my female colleagues were debating stairs vs. elevator - they said stairs and for whatever reason I said something like "OK FATTIES LETS START BURNING CALORIES" and the few students waiting by the elevators thought it was hysterical while I waved an authoritative fist and Kate jogged in place. Oh, the exciting life I lead.
I know that now I'm writing in kind of a sour mood, and the events of today really weren't all that bad. I'll look back and think: "wow what were you so annoyed or upset about?" But I've come to find that this retrospective unacceptance is self-defeating, as I've literally destroyed old journals, poetry and even music I felt ashamed that I had created, and now of course I deeply regret it. (As a certain old pal would never let me forget, I did DJ SPINJAM in my basement when I was 12-14, before I ever had a real band - god would those tracks be great for a laugh right now) So in conclusion I'm telling it like it is, the way I wanna tell it, cuz it's my blog so SUCK IT. At least I don't do those annoying vlogs (video-blogs) where I talk to myself for hours and expect people to be so bereft of any kind of social interaction or worthwhile hobby that they would actually listen - that's just weird.
P.S. Due to hanging my umbrella off my work bag and forgetting about it, then subsequently thrusting my bag up onto the rack above the seats after entering the train, I almost impaled/definitely splashed some residual water on two different poor and unsuspecting Japanese women today, both before and after work. I felt like such an ass.
"First thing I remember was asking papa, why, For there were many things I didn't know. And daddy always smiled and took me by the hand, Saying, someday you'll understand. Well, I'm here to tell you now, each and every mother's son, That you better learn it fast, you better learn it young, 'Cause someday never comes." - Creedence Clearwater Revival
"Round and round and round we spin to weave a wall to hold us in it won't be long. How slow and slow and slow it goes to mend the tear that always shows it won't be long." - Neil Young and Crazy Horse
"Yea I'm fine everything's great. I lost my job cuz I was five minutes fuckin late!" - Cutthroat.
Watching someone so drunk try to walk up the platform stairs that they fall flat on their face is a fairly common spectacle here. The throngs of Shibuya's hachiko-exit area are like a giant, pulsating mass of bodies and wills, all with different places to go and not enough time to get there, unless they have too much time. It's the same every Saturday night, and is bound to make you feel like you're part of the bustling city life or conversely isolated from the human race. Depends on the day you're having. Three-year-old children love colored balls, tried, tested and true by yours truly. If all else fails, chuck the lesson plan out the window and give them something to shoot into a basket. F.I.D. had our first band practice in a month and we have been unofficially dubbed B.B.B., for Bilingual Baka (idiot) Band! This is in reference to how stupid me or Kana can feel when we are using Makiko as a translator between us. Speaking of which I'm going to start taking Japanese lessons for the first time since May, tomorrow! There may be hope for me yet. My tiny room is once again my room as my mate went back to the States. Some motorcyclist almost ran me down on the little sidestreet I live on the other day. He was easily going at least double the speed limit, not at all uncommon.
These sentences careen into one another without reason, much like the pace of life outside my apartment doors. Things happen nonsensically, randomly, at fast speeds and with complete disregard for innocent human life (not to mention complete disregard for the welfare of mankind). There are all sorts of pictures I will upload soon but it's been an unsual weekend. I've slept maybe 8 hours in the past 48. I just ate some rice, marinated duck, kimchi and broccoli, because who needs recipes when you can just make random amalgamations?
"When my day is through all I wanna do is slow down" - Ignite
"I have been awake for several days with time to think. It has been so long since I needed sleep to dream" - Bloodlet
More wacky dreams lately. One particularly startling image of furless pandas I don't think I will soon forget... I haven't even watched Hellraiser recently!! Another involved me having triplet boys around 4 and meandering through a Walmart.
Sometimes, I'm glad dreams don't come true.
I went to a Sumo match the other day. It's incredibly ritualistic and deep-seated in Shinto, the native Japanese religion. For example, the circle which the basho (bout) takes place is considered a holy place, and no women are ever allowed within. The legs are spread traditionalyl to show that one is carrying no weaponry. Also, salt is thrown to purify the ring of evil spirits. And so on and so forth, once again wikipedia is your friend if you want details.
A match only lasts several seconds on average, with these arduously long, ritualistic actions in between. The buildup is intense, but often comparable to blue balls when the guy slips, falls over and loses 1.7 seconds in. The coolest thing I saw was this one high-ranked Sumo wrestler, Baruto, toss another 350 lb. dude sideways out of the ring. Also, the fans were so adamant, it was like Japan's WWF as Kevin so accurately put it. People would scream the names of their favorite wrestlers, cheering them on even from the nosebleed section that we occupied. Some dude nearby was wasted on beer and glass jars of sake, and was flipping out for this one wrestler, yelling stuff like "Yea! You can do it, kick his ass!" or some fascimile thereof in Japanese. Whenever the wrestlers would make their exaggerated movements, and finally get to the center to face each other, they would (a minimum of 3 times) walk away to wash up, make herculean and apish gestures and incite wild roars from the audience, before returning to the center of the ring to face off and possibly walk away another time or two before actually initiating the match. (Should I add "run-on sentences" into my tags?)
I wanted to try chankonabe, the fish stew that is the traditional meal of the sumo, but missed out. Kevin did and said it was decent. I'll find out someday. Instead I ate some snack-food with various pretzels, wasabi peas and little dried fishies in it. Quite good, actually.
Half-way around the globe, other events have transpired. About 6 days ago, there was a case of a shooting on I-90, the highway that is in my hometown of East Greenbush, New York. Some dude was firing at cops, people were fleeing the scene, complete chaos. I even recognize the ambulence that takes the guy after he gets shot by a cop - it's a volunteer EMS vehicle from W.F. Bruen station. My next-door neighbor works there. Very surreal. Even weirder is that this all made me think of one thing: what a bitch it would be delivering pizzas with part of the highway shut down!
We never seem to shed the past, every experience somehow culminates into who we are.
I've been up and down lately myself. Nowhere near the verge of shootin at anybody though, which is good. However my life is not free of "pain time" as one student so elegantly put it: I had to sub a class of whiny, hyper 3-year old boys last Saturday first thing in the morning and - O Joy! I have it again this Saturday. I botched a few things last weekend so I sought help from a friend who gave me some good kid-distracting/time-eating advice....and informed me that rewind and fast-forward on tape players are reversed in this country. With any luck, I'll make it outta this one alive.
After getting up and heading downtown to Okonomura (a famous building with 30 Okonomiyaki shops) for lunch for the second day in a row, we set off on our trip to the luscious island of Miyajima. After finding out that the Passmo train-fare card that Kevin got was Kanto-region only, and subsequently buying him a ticket, we made our way onto a train. 30 minutes later we were in the port-area of Miyajima, a beautiful city with an indelible view of the island (and vice versa from the islands mountain tops).
The short boat ride across the waters was quite enjoyable - it's nice to see JR (Japanese Rail) has not only the biggest train network in the country, but also its own ferry! The first thing you see in detail upon approaching is the famous orange torii gate - a symbol for a gateway to holiness in Shinto. If you see it in the morning it appears to be "floating on the water," but I preferred this shot I took later on in the day:
There were many touristy shops of course, and even a fairly big residential area away from the main streets. I wonder how much a house there runs for! I also tried the Momiji-Manju, a kind of maple-flavored bun with sweet beans inside. It was OK, but nothing to exceptional. The real novelty of the island however was its massive deer population, perhaps rivaling even Nara:
Some real gorgeous sites.
We eventually started increasing our elevation, but opted not to take the cable car, since that's for old ladies and little kids in my opinion. It was quite the steep ascent though, and there were stairs, stairs and more stairs the whole way up. It was a bit tiring but well worth it, and after a few kilometers we had the pleasure of the gorgeous view from the mountain's top:
There was a rickety old shop at the top of the mountain so I bought some chocolate, sat on a bench and soaked in the breath-taking view. After so much time in the city, this was just what I needed. I took copious amounts of pictures of course. On the way back down we took an alternative route with seemingly less stairs and more windy paths:
Finally we got to the bottom and we were bushed. It was a fun hike and reminded me that I really should check out more of the mountains in the Tokyo area. Not much more to say than the pictures can tell, I believe.
I was honestly a bit sad to be leaving Hiroshima. The place we stayed, "K's Guesthouse" was very nice and the whole city just had this mellow vibe to it. I suppose it would get rather boring after a while though, and I'd have to make trips to Osaka see bands on tour and stuff like that.
We had lunch at Okonomura for the 3rd day in a row. I suppose I should explain a bit about Hiroshima's famous okonomiyaki...or maybe just copy and paste a wikipedia article:
"In Hiroshima, the ingredients are layered rather than mixed together. The layers are typically batter, cabbage, pork, optional items (squid, octopus, cheese, etc.), noodles (yakisoba, udon) topped with a fried egg and a generous dollop of okonomiyaki sauce. The amount of cabbage used is usually 3 - 4 times the amount of Osaka style. It starts out piled very high and is generally pushed down as the cabbage cooks. The order of the layers may vary slightly depending on the chef's style and preference, and ingredients will vary depending on the preference of the customer. People from Hiroshima tend to claim that this is the correct way to make okonomiyaki. This style is also called Hiroshima-yaki."
Yep. It's really delicious and seems relatively healthy, with all that cabbage in there. I am sort of craving some Hiroshima-yaki so I may have to find a shop somewhere in Tokyo. Here are some snaps of Okinomura, the famous building full of okonomiyaki stalls:
3 floors devoted to one kind of food.
The lunch rush.
Here's a crappy little video I took with my phone of the stuff being made. Honestly there are better videos on youtube if you are at all curious.
We started off the day by going to the modern art museum, which in all honesty was kind of a mistake. I mean the place was fine and as advertised, but so much of "modern art" is complete wankery. There was some before-after shot from 1973 of a guy falling asleep on the beach with a book on his stomach, so that he got suburned everywhere but there. The coolest thing we saw was a room where you were encouraged to pick up and place various instruments, and a doorway to nowhere in the middle would light up at the vibrations. Anyway, here's a few snaps:
Groundbreaking?
Our next stop however proved to be one of the most beautiful gardens I've ever seen in my life. I didn't have such high expectations and honestly we only went there because the other museums were closed for the holidays, but wow. Shukkei-en is a traditional Japanese garden that might numb you with awe if you have the chance to see it in real life. Everything is completely still except when a coy fish jumps out of the water to snatch a bug. You can see the sky in the water so clearly it looks like another world, it's just amazing.
I think tranquil may be the perfect word for it. Anyway, that's just about it, we killed time for the rest of the evening in anticipation of yet another fun night-bus, only this next one proved to be the worst of our 3 trips. No arm rests, no reclining seats and being squashed together, along with stops every hour that include announcements and lights being turned on, and to top it all off a bunch of girls from Osaka being really chatty all made it a pretty miserable journey. We were happy then when we finally arrived at 5:30am in Kyoto...
While this is a "live" blog, updated regularly, I consider it to be an unfolding story as well. I will therefore be sorting out the events here in rough chunks of time labeled as "chapters," with a prologue beginning in New York. I will list here the current "chapter" of this chunk of my life story, which I have decided to share with anyone and everyone on the internet.
